Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Hi and help!
I just got a new account after being on the knot for a year and a half. I decided to do a new one because DH knew my old login and it had my maiden name in it.
I have a big problem. OK not a big problem a little big problem First off, I know what some of you are going to say and I don't need it. Its too late now.
DH and I didn't have sex before we were married, he was a virgin. I respected his wishes even though before him I had been very sexually active. His beliefs were such that they didn't allow even heavy petting outside the clothes.
On our wedding night I got a big surprise. Or I should say little surprise. DH is tiny down there. I mean seriously tiny. Microfallius sized.
We've been married for 8 days and have had sex a handful of times and it hasn't been satisfing for either of us. I've tried doing keguls but I think that takes time to work or something.
Have any of you had this problem? What should I do? Thanks for the help.
Re: Hi and help!
Ask him!
hey honey were you not having sex with me because of your penis size?
Inexperienced. I feel like I'm teaching him alot. But he's willing to learn and that's a good thing right?
You can't avoid this...obviously and it's not doing you any favors just having a lot of bad sex
Have you guys thought about a penis pump, *** rings or penis extender devices?
And, if I may ask, how small are we talking? It may just be a matter of finding the right position where his penis can actually be effective
Otherwise ... you may want to invest in a BOB
Like thumb sized width and length.
I thought that penis pumps were just a load of carp and *** rings were used to extend the session.
I'm really clueless in this situation, all my other partners were average sized. I know it can't be me, its not my first rodeo, but I haven't worn the tread off the tires yet.
....
.....
......
That ain't good.
Don't knock ANYTHING anyone suggests at this point. You'll need all the help you can get.
sorry even the best of tongues wont take the place of a nice hard plunger!
I'm not feeling better about this yet.
Are you saying pumps really work? I'll buy one tonight if it will make a difference.
I also thought about him getting those extenz pills but I thought they were just a marketing ploy too.
He does know he's below average. He's had a chance to compare with porn and probably the locker room, IDK do guys really do that? He apologies when things are disappointing in bed.
The thing is, I don't know if he's being defensive or what.. He's starting to take it out on me. He said had I been a virgin too this wouldn't be as much of a problem.
He can cram it you know. It shouldn't be like this after 8 days of marriage.
The thing is, I don't know if he's being defensive or what.. He's starting to take it out on me. He said had I been a virgin too this wouldn't be as much of a problem.
Oh no he didn't!!??
this is grounds for annulment!
Oh my. I assume we are talking micro, here. See, this is one of those reasons I support getting busy before marriage. It is another part of ensuring compatibility - not just in respect of sexual desire, or preferences, but whether you *fit* physically. I do wonder if he was keeping this from you.
I am not sure what to say. I am not a size queen, but as I DO *O* from penetration I also am not happy with a very small - never mind a tiny - penis. And I would be rather disappointed!
If you are both happy with working on oral, and manual, stimulation, and adding toys, you may be satisfied. But if not...you are in a rough spot and will need to decide if this is a sexual relationship you can be happy with for the rest of your life. I mean we all hit rough patches in the sex department - ie illness, stress, linido - but these can be changed via willing partners. You can't turn a tiny peen into a big one. Only you can decide what is important to you in a lifelong relationship. But I can say this is not something I would be happy with (but I also would have had sex before deciding to get married and not marry someone with such differing values or outlooks about sex and so on.
This has nothing to do with you not being a virgin! Sheesh, a tampon sounds bigger from what you describe! That just makes him sound clueless about female anatomy as well.
We hit a real patch of frustration last night so we need some cooling off, but I think you have a good suggestion, we'll shop for toys and see if that doesn't make a difference.
I hope he doesn't find the idea of toys intimidating.
I am ashamed to say I thought of annulment. But I decided to give it some time and see if we could still have a satisfying sex life.
Maybe once we get the rhythm things will work out.
Maybe that was why his beliefs were as such. So you wouldn't find out that good things come in small packages until after the I dos were said.
Nothing you can do. He should have been honest about his eh shrinkage before you were married.
I've heard extenze does not work and it actually makes a man loose feeling down there after he stops using it. I would look up some reviews online - I may be wrong.
You may not want to hear this, but can you live the rest of your life like this? I might consider an annulment since you only got married a few days ago.
What kills me is the lack of honesty. He should have been up front about this when the relationship turned serious. If you decided no, you could have walked away before there was a marriage and marriage vow at stake.
Suppose it was another issue, like being HIV positive or having full blown AIDS or herpes? His lack of honesty is bad and so are his communication skills.
And what does "if you were a virgin" have to do with it? Size is size. And he's being defensive as hell about this and what he said doesn't even make any sense.
since you have more experience - help him out! his being small might not be satisfying to you but shouldn't make a difference for him as far as obtaining an erection. Is he able to climax? If not is it because he doesn't stick to it long enough? Ask him questions. Has he ever masturbated to orgasim? if not due to trying but no result he should speak with a Dr. Once this problem is corrected than you can work on what he can do to satisfy you. Size won't matter for a clitoral climax. Once he feels confident move onto vaginal climax through experimentation. Mostly, be supportive and understanding. The fact that he is small and knows you have had experience might be intimadating.
The best lover I ever had had a small penis. He was totally upfront about it, even made jokes about it, but assured me that he knew what to do with the rest of his body.
And OMG!, what that man could do with his tongue and fingers and toys! Seriously, I lost count of my orgasms after 17! He was fun in bed, utterly enthralled with pleasuring a woman and just loved being sexual.
I have had lovers who were very well endowed and were selfish lovers, so I don't link sexual satisfaction with penis size. What matters in bed is humor, sincere desire to please your partner and actively attempting to do so.
Your husband withheld the information that he knew you would want to know. He is ashamed of his penis and it is affecting his attitude about sex. He needs to get over it and embrace his sexuality.
Now, you need to decide how *you* feel about his actions and whether or not the lie (coupled with that nasty attitude of his) are enough to make you want to walk.
GOOD POINTS.
I would be so pissed with him over the "if you were a virgin comment". With a *** the size of a thumb, you could be the worlds tightest virgin and it wouldn't make a difference. Many people will say that toys, oral, fingering may suffice, but do you really want to go through life in such a predicament? Just asking...