May 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: POLL: Dwelling before marriage?
We will live together almost two years before getting married. I think it was a great decision b/c you learn so much that way. There is definitely a transition period and I'm glad we got that over with early on!
Also - it's nice to know that your on the same page with the person you are marrying. For example, we were able to work out how our household will work financially and how big decisions will be made in our relationship.
I think we both feel 100% going into this marriage and I wouldn't have it any other way.
- M CAP.
My husband and I did things backwards. We dated for a year semi-long distance (an hour and change away) for a year. I lived alone with a number of pets and he lived with (very sloppy) friends. He was always coming to stay with me on weekends because I had to be home to let dogs out and his job was almost smack in the middle between our places (and my place was practically at work).
When his lease was up he opted to move in with me. It just felt right. A year later we decided to buy a house together. We have owned the house for three years now.
We actually got married in February due to medical insurance issues but the official wedding and announcement isn't until next October. Weird I know.
I'm extremely glad we did things the way we did. When we started dating I had just come out of a long term relationship and he was getting divorced. Neither of us though we would ever want to get married or be in a committed relationship again.
I learned a lot about the dynamics of our relationship, credit histories and the like before any major commitments were made, bills were consolidated.
I am a Yes,
My Fience and I got together the week before we started our Senior Year in high school. At the time I was living at my mom's house one week and my Dad's the next, and so on, due to their divorce that hapened when I was in 4th gread. After I graduated and started college I continued going back and forth for 5 months out of highschool and I decited it was time to have only one place to live. Now I was 18 and thought it was odd to still be going one week at one house and one week at the next, so it was time for a change. So insted of having to choose between parents my fieance, boyfriend at the time, and I decited to move out and live together.
At this time during a future conversation I told him that I wanted to be done with school before we got married and had kids, and that is what we are doing. Back in June 2009 I finaly graduated form college and we are now engaged and we have set a wedding date for June 12th 2011 then kids some time after that.
We have lived together now for about 6 1/2 years, dating for 8 years on 8/26/2010, and I feel that it has been a great experience. I already know who he is as a whole, I know who he is having over, and he knows the same about me. The bigest thing is that we know eachothers kinks. I sleep walk/sleep talk and he makes a odd sound that used to drive me crazy but now we are used to it and ready for the next step.
Hi Kelly5110!
You said: "We are going through a pretty rough adjustment period at the moment, but I'm glad that we're doing it as a fully-committed married couple."
My FH and I are in the same situation -- Getting married in 50 days, and moving in together after the wedding. Any advice you would give based on your experience? What are some good ways you guys have found to help get through the adjustment period?
Thanks and best of luck in your new life together!
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My Fiance and I started living together BEFORE we were offically dating. We had been friends for 6 years before getting together (we had been dancing around the inevitable for those 6 years) After he graduated college and moved back to his parents we started hanging out alot more often. I was moving into a new apartment and he helped me move and just never left! A year and a half later we bought a house. . . . and have been living in our house for over 2 years and we are getting married in 2 months!
We've been living together for nearly 2 years now and we're getting married in 3 months. Things were a little rough the first few months of living together, but we at least had the chance to work through our problem areas then instead of doing it after making a lifelong commitment.
I am completely comfortable with my fiance and my decision to marry him and have no doubts or worries, and I don't think I ever would have felt that way without first establishing our life together and knowing what married life would be like. Hope this helps!
"]We have already been living together for 4 years and getting married next year. I cannot imagine not living together. It would be too hard to tell how compatible you really are with each other. There is one downside though, I am not as excited for the wedding as it will only be a slip of paper, nothing else in our relationship will change.
Except we can legitimately have children.
I wanted to comment on your "piece of paper" statement. I didn't live with my first husband and it was probably a mistake, but times were different then and it was the right thing to do at the time. I lived with my current husband for nearly 16 years before we finally got married. And we are also postponing the ceremony until next year. We got married this year for the insurance thing. Up until this time, it wasn't advantageous for us to get married and being older, we knew we were not planning to have children, so we didn't see the point. But I have to say, it does "feel" different to have that "piece of paper". Logistically, relationship wise, etc, it's no different. But there is a different feel to it and people do relate to you differently. And there are certain benefits that don't come with just living together no matter how long you do it, in most states anyway. I'm glad to see you decided to wait to have children. Though my views on living together have changed over the years, I continue to believe children are better off born in the legal union of marriage. They just have more automatic rights. While being married doesn't necessarily guarantee more of a commitement as we have all seen, at least from a legal POV, it affords certain protections without having to fight for them.
We're getting married in 2 and a bit years time and we're already living together. My FH was staying over at my old flat- he lived with his mum and I lived on my own when we meet- from 3 months into the relationship, we got engaged at nearly 4 months in and we moved in together officially back in February on the 21st, marking 7 months this month. We are Christians, so we worked around it by always wearing pjs in bed but I'm happy we've chosen to and we've got past the jitters. It's been a struggle with benefits and money but it works for us. I can understand why people wait though. I just needed to live with him and really get to know him first before marriage and living with him worked. That said we did struggle with whose got what space at first but a new place helped. We'll have been living together for 2 years and 6 months by the time we're married and been together for 3 to 4 years.
We moved in together after a about a year and a half of dating, and will have been living together for just under three years when we get married (about 2 weeks shy of three years actually).
I agree 100% Sarah! "you never really know a person until you live with them." It is not so much about adjusting to the bad habits. A mature couple that communicates can get through that married or not. But like Sarah said, you can find out things about a person you never would have known about (I'm speaking from experience!). If a couple wants their marriage to last a life time, it only strengthens the foundation if you know as much as possible about the other person before marriage and living together does do that.
I am living with my fiance now and have been for well over a year and I can look back from where we are NOW and say that we would have been fine if we married before moving in together, but for me to say that back then would have been naive and I'd just be crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. I still prefer and highly recommend moving in together first.
We have been together for 5 years, and 1.5 months ago I bought an apartment. It was so tough for me to be alone, that he moved in! We are getting married in less than 3 months and I' super happy with our decision of living together before marriage. I can say, I meet my "housewife side" and his "husband caracteristics" before even making the real decision. Needless to say I was sure I wanted to marry this guy! Otherwise, this decision is a huge NO NO.
Happy marriage to all
Stu Your a dork!!! I am going to hell as well?
Hey ladies how the heck did you find this Poll all of us are curious!!
I'm just sayin!! I mean, I lived with my ex boyfriend too, and if I HADN'T, I probably never would've found out what a weirdo perv he was and could have ended up marrying the douche!!
ETA: And I also had premarital sex *GASP*!!!! I'm such a skeezebag.
Rob and I have lived together raising my son Dillon since he was six months old. We started dating in 1989 during high school. April 1, 1999 we reunited again! He asked me to marry him December 4, 2004. Of course, I said YES!! We just celebrated our 11 year anniversary 4 months ago and we are getting married on December 4,2010!!!! True love never dies!!!!!!
Hey I feel you!
I also had premarital sex HHAHAHAHA! It was fun and great and I will never look back with regret!!!