May 2010 Weddings
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POLL: Dwelling before marriage?

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Re: POLL: Dwelling before marriage?

  • Who are these people? 
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  • Bethhannah, I agree with you completely.  My fiance and I are both waiting until marriage to live together and to have sex.  We believe that's the way God intended it to be, and I definitely can't wait for our wedding night!  Plus, it just makes wedding planning that much more fun and exciting.
  • Awesome first post.....

    All kidding aside, some of my absolute favorite people on this board that are REGULARS that I "talk" to almost everyday are regular church-going, very religious people and I love them to death!!  Not living together and not having premarital sex was not in MY plan.  My life is so much better for being the way that it has been.  Not saying that it should have been that way for everyone, but my life-style has made me the better (and quite awesome actually) person that I am today.  My wedding day/night was the absolute best time of my life.  Yeah we weren't each others' firsts, but we still had the most amazing night of our lives.

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  • He moved in with me after 13 months of dating (we were engaged for a little over 1 month by then)... By the time we're married, we will have been living together for 14+ months. 

     The hard part is that his parents think we live in separate rooms, and have not...consumated our relationship. It's hard to keep it a big secret, and we have a long time to keep it!

    I don't regret anything <3 

  • We've lived together for 5 years, and I'm glad. The first year or two of getting to know each other and our habits and rituals was challenging, but completely do-able. Living together gave us a chance to really see if our relationship was headed for the long run or not. Happily, it's stronger and better than ever.

     

    BTW - where do you guys find those cute badges/icons you're putting in your signature? And where can I learn all the acronyms everyone uses around here?

  • I am replying to this post because my Fiance cancelled the wedding because I wouldn't move in and I know that that was the first smart decision I made because I know he would have ended the marriage later if I hadn't made that decision. A wedding is meant to be a decision made from the heart by both the bride and the groom and if that decision is made then it shouldn't matter if you live together or not because alot of it revolves around heart felt commitment to each other and the willingness to work through any problems as they arise. This is just my advice and opinion.
  • We had been dating for 3 years when we knew it was time to buy a place.  We had lived together for two summers during the 3 years we had been dating. We bought our house Nov. '09, got engaged June '10, & are getting married June '11.  I am so happy we moved in together before getting hitched.  Even though we had been seeing eachother for 7 years and officially dating just shy of 4 years...I learned things about him upon moving in together.  They definitely were not deal breakers...but things I never would have known prior to the big move!
  • We had been dating for 3 years when we knew it was time to buy a place.  We had lived together for two summers during the 3 years we had been dating. We bought our house Nov. '09, got engaged June '10, & are getting married June '11.  I am so happy we moved in together before getting hitched.  Even though we had been seeing each other for 7 years and officially dating just shy of 4 years...I learned things about him upon moving in together.  They definitely were not deal breakers...but things I never would have known prior to the big move!
  • Why are you posting on the May 2010 board when you aren't even married yet?!
    Me-28 Stage II Endometrosis, DH-29 Severe MFI TTC#1 since July 2010 DH-Varicocele Surgery 3/2011 Me-Laproscopic Surgery 8/2012 Stage II Endometrosis, removed cysts IVF # 1 October 2012 BCP-9/12-10/2 Follitism 300-10/4-10/14 Ganirelex 10/8-10/15 ER 10/17 (20 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 13 fertilized) ET 10/22 Beta 1 11/2 375 Beta 2 11/5 951 Beta 3/ U/S 11/12 BabyFruit Ticker Anniversary
  • We've lived together almost 6 years and bought a house together a year and half ago. We've been together almost 7 years and by the time we get married, it'll be almost 8.
  • and I just wanted to point out, that a link to this thread came in my e-mail which is why I read it and decided to post. Sorry if I'm in the wrong place or whatever, didn't think it was a big deal!
  • imagerenees3:
    and I just wanted to point out, that a link to this thread came in my e-mail which is why I read it and decided to post. Sorry if I'm in the wrong place or whatever, didn't think it was a big deal!
    It's not a big deal at all.... It just seemed kinda random!  Feel free to continue posting.   It's just that most of the ladies on this board have been around for a year or so and we think it's odd for people to come on here and start judging.
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  • I have been with my FH for almost 3 years, currently engaged for 5 months... Our living situations have been odd, I moved twice in the first 5 months of knowing him, when I finally found my "home' an apartment, he still lived with his roommate.. HOWEVER spent every night with me. His clothes were the only thing here besides personal stuff like razors, and stuff like that we had purchased for him to have here. at our almost 2 year anniversary he finally decided to move in and stop paying his roommate for "storage" and continued to help me while I went though school. He is very old fashion, however, we knew the only way for me to graduate was if he moved in offically. So to answer your question, YES I love LIVING together before because there is so much to still learn, his pet peeves, mine to him, and before we get married in 2012 we will be together for 5 years and living together for 3. I will never regret it and it works for us. GIving us each the oppertunity to do what we can for eachother to succeed not on in our relationship.. BUT also in our lives before we become one. 
  • my fiance and i have lived in the same apartment together since may and our wedding is next june (we just officially got engaged last month). we've been dating for almost two years and practically lived together when we lived in the dorms. really it feels although we already are married, even though everyone tells me it will change once it's official.
  • Like Sara said, most of us have known each other for over a year and we didn't know how you guys found the post.
    Me-28 Stage II Endometrosis, DH-29 Severe MFI TTC#1 since July 2010 DH-Varicocele Surgery 3/2011 Me-Laproscopic Surgery 8/2012 Stage II Endometrosis, removed cysts IVF # 1 October 2012 BCP-9/12-10/2 Follitism 300-10/4-10/14 Ganirelex 10/8-10/15 ER 10/17 (20 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 13 fertilized) ET 10/22 Beta 1 11/2 375 Beta 2 11/5 951 Beta 3/ U/S 11/12 BabyFruit Ticker Anniversary
  • At first I was totally against moving in before we were married because of religious beliefs and family. However, my fiance put a down payment on a house in June before we were engaged. I still had no plans of moving in. We got engaged in July and closed on the house in Oct. We did a lot of work on the house for the next couple months. I started the police academy and he worked on moving in. He was moved in by Dec and due to the fact that we had a puppy and he worked 24 hr shifts as a firefighter, it seemed like our lives would be easier if I moved in to help out. I was moved in by January. By the time we get married in April we will have been living together for a year and 3 months. 

     

    As much as I was against it in the beginning, I feel like we made the right decision for us and I wouldnt change it.  

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  • Yes, Lived with him a little less than a year. Am glad I did. This way I saw both is good side and his bad side and realized that it would definitely work between us.  
  • @...the girl who asked about the adjustment period:

    Well, hon, when I figure it out, I'll tell you. :) Basically I keep reminding myself that I had a lot of really great reasons for marrying him, and that whatever is ticking me off is probably not as big as those were. I have also, on occasion, looked down at my wedding ring, gritted my teeth, and said to myself "too late to back out now"! Haha! I'm sure he's had similar moments. It's getting better every day.

     

    @...the person who asked about my flowers:

    I don't remember all of them. I know that there were snapdragons (blue and white), roses, and some thistle. I think the snapdragons were the ones that showed up the most in the photos.

     

    @stu: You make me laugh. :)

  • I was married to my first husband for 18 years now divoce. ENGAGE for the second time my christian life style says no sex or living together before marriage i believe it is a great idea it give you something to look forward to. My wedding is Nov 5, 2010 and we spend alot of time together communicating finding out alot about each anticpating that GREAT DAY! I am excited.
  • Nope!  We are getting married next July.  I am more traditional and am excited to be a true "newlywed."  I also feel that I would not have been engaged right now if we were living together.  I personally, feel that living together takes the excitement when the wedding is over.  I don't want to come back from my honeymoon and have life be "the same."  
  • My fiance and I have been living together for a year and a few months, and will continue to live together until our wedding which is April 23,2011. I am glad that we have lived together, to get used to one another, and also learn each others living habits. I think you should test the waters, before jumping right in so to speak.
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  • I'm a very open-minded person and believe that God will bless anyone no matter what their living situation is before getting married.  After all, He loves everyone no matter what their views are.

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  • We've been living together for over two years now, almost three. I think, practically, it's a good decision. It keeps you from having a rough adjustment period of getting used to sharing your most personal spaces with someone whose living style might be very different, *right* after the prolonged stress of getting ready for a wedding! It helps you figure out if you're compatible in some very important areas early on, and settle into a nice, easy routine. Waiting to move in/have sex until you're married seems kind of...old world?...to me, too much like an arranged marriage--it's like you don't really meet them until *after* you're committed for life.
  • Our wedding is fast approaching, 10/9/10!  We will not be living together until we come back from our honeymoon in Cancun.  We'll be moving most of our belongings to our new place soon though, and I'll be living there by myself a month before our wedding.  There's something about looking forward to finally living in the same home with your spouse.  We are both ecstatic and anticipating that day that we will wake up in the morning together, sleep in, and just enjoy the daily routine.  Our faith in God and His desire for us to keep each other pure before marriage is something we highly value.  This makes our wedding day and all that comes with it much more special. 
  • LOL, i know that feeling. They often say the 1st year of marraige is the toughest, and i'm sure it's because of that.  We've been living together for 3 years now, of which we will be engaged 1,5 years before the wedding, in December.

    it was REALLY so tough in the beginning.  Glad we're comfortable in each other's space now.

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