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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Potluck wedding
I just got a wedding invitation from a close family member and it's so bizarre. It says on the invitation what food I'm supposed to be bringing and to make sure it will feed at least 50 people. Seriously? They're supplying the cake and punch, otherwise it's a cash bar. I feel like if they can't afford to feed their 150 guests maybe they should be cutting down their list or not even having a reception. Am I being really stuck up thinking this is so tacky and inappropriate
that they're asking their guests to supply the food for their wedding?
Re: Potluck wedding
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
No, friggin way! I hope you RSVP NO!
SO TACKY!!!!
It would be one thing if they said it was a potluck wedding and didn't assign you something, or if it said 'in lieu of gifts, the bride and groom ask you help in the reception by bringing a dish to share'. Then its slightly less tacky.
I would go to the wedding to support your friend but skip the reception. Doesn't sound like its going to be a great party anyway......
I think a potluck wedding CAN work in the context of it being a backyard wedding with maybe 10-20 family members. I think there's something sweet about a very small family wedding and everyone bringing a plate of food to share.
There is nothing sweet about inviting 150 guests and then insisting they bring enough food to feed 50 people.
I would not be attending their wedding.
I agree very TACKY. I'm all about unique weddings but that is way too BUDGET. (All their supplying is cake and punch, really? Who drinks punch anymore anyhow??? )
On the other hand weddings should be about the union of the couple getting married, so if the food is in lieu of a gift I would probably still go to the wedding and bring an item. If its in addition to a gift I would probably just go to the ceremony.
And to make sure it feeds 50 -- that's FIVE ZERO --- people.
You bet it's tacky. For 50 and you pay for your own booze too. Labor cost not included.
That idea is going to go over like a fart in a crowded elevator -- if they are counting on the guests' food to feed everyone, there's not going to be much food; willing to bet lots of people RSVP no because this is tacky.
If cost is an object, serve pasta and wine and beer or limit the guest list and take everyone to a restaurant for a post-ceremony luncheon. Don't ask for a potluck meal that feeds 50 people.
? Who drinks punch anymore anyhow?????
my?mom insisted that I use her punch bowl. She wanted punch, but we filled it with hard cider. I think that went over?much better than punch.
Punch is a weird word, haha.
Nothing wrong with a simple cake and punch reception either!
Oh man, I *really* want you to go now. Just to take photos and let us know how it goes.
67/200
ya know, we have family gatherings (reunion sunday, actually) that have over 50 attendees and are potluck...
NONE of us brings a dish that feeds 50...we each bring a dish that will feed a family and you assume that there might *not* be tater-tot-casserole when you get up there...but there will be fried chicken still. Or vice-versa.
Asking each person to bring food for 50 moves it from tacky to REALLY tacky.
They might as well charge you admission . Snobby thoughts are going through my head. I would not go.
Sounds like a trip to costco and doing 500 pigs in a blanket or something. the meal you bring should be the wedding gift since its costing you money.
That's just fine --- and even an all dessert reception would have been inexpensive and fun.
How about you give the wedding that you can pay for easily-- and not impose on your guests to bring this or bring that?
yes, this...I've known some couples, very low on money, have a low key affair and the people that are there kind of do the pot luck thing kind happily for the couple...getting an assignment to do, that's a hells no
I have never heard of this. EXTREMELY tacky, I would either polietely decline. OR if you feel you should go because its family, go, with the food and make it clear that that is your gift to the couple.
Factor in the 10% that say they'll be there then don't show. And if those no shows are the ones "assigned" to bring meat, drinks and desserts that would leave 35 people and a bunch of side dishes. Fantastic!
Even the logistics of the event are whacko - food poisoning, as somebody pointed out. Duplicated dishes -- bet you there'll be at least 3 or 4 potato salads or cole slaws or mixed green salads. And how many people know "how" to mass produce a dish that will feed 50? Either you make it for 50 all at once or make one dish that feeds 5, what, ten times more?
Forget it.
Serve punch and cake and be done with it. If the guests don't like that, go the hell home.
Hi all,
I don't normally post here, but I also just received an invitation to a potluck wedding. This invite did not give me any details (which dish I should bring or how many people) and to make things more complicated- the wedding is 4.5 hours away and my H is a groomsman, so we'll have to be there the night before. Any suggestions on this situation?
Brownies.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
That is tacky. Being told what to bring and how much of it is definitely in bad taste. I say if you go, buy prepared food from the store and I agree with others, to tell the bride and groom it's their present from you.
That being said my best friend got married last Saturday and asked people to bake a dessert IF they wanted to...so I made one batch of chocolate chip cookies. And a few years ago a cousin of mine asked family to bring something to add to the buffet IF they wanted to. I come from a family of bakers/cookers so for us it's fun.
This is where I went. Make ONE batch of something that travels well...brownies, cookies, quickbread.
And call it good.
If theyr'e short on food? theyr'e the ones that look bad.
Send your regrets.
And a box of brownie mix. If you want to be generous, you could include a 2$ GC to a local grocery store for eggs and oil.
I agree with this completely. Small, casual potluck wedding = sweet. Large potluck wedding = tacky.