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Here's a topic to liven up the board...
I debated about posting this when I came across it while lurking on TB b/c I have a feeling it's going to get some people very fired up.
but, I'm curious as to what you ladies have to say about it so here's the link
You have to go back a few posts to really get what she's talking about.
Here's my 2 cents: I don't really know what I think about this....I mean it's not something I would ever do, but it's not my place to judge how others live their lives. I'm sure there are people who take it to the extreme to where it becomes domestic violence, but I honestly don't know what to think about the people who say they love it and it made their marriages stronger....crazy stuff to me
ETA: if I'm offending anybody with this I would be happy to delete the post, just let me know
Re: Here's a topic to liven up the board...
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I wonder why she is the only one being physically "punished"? Is her husband some sort of saint that never does anything wrong? I went back to where her husband was writing about how they got into DD and he said there were things about her that bothered him. YEAH. I'm sure there are things about you that bug her, too.
Clearly I don't agree with this. I consider myself to be a pretty open minded person and I don't like to judge how other people live... but I have to be honest, this seems like a huge red flag to me. Maybe if it sounded like they were both on the receiving end it would be different, but it seriously irks me that she is the one always being punished. Weird.
eta: It would bother me that only one of them was getting the punishment regardless if it was the husband or wife. The fact that only one of them is punished sounds more like abuse then discipline.
Ok. I do not personally agree with this.
First off, why is SHE the only one who gets punished? I read a few (not all of the entries) and it sounds like she's the only one getting spanked. If you are going to institute this why isn't he getting 'punished' as well. If you ask me it sounds very one sided. I'm sure he's not Mr. Perfect.
Second off in one of his earlier entries he said that 'spanking' will only be used in 'serious circumstances'. I'm sorry, but going 7 miles over the speed limit is NOT serious. And spanking to me is considered a few smacks on the butt not 30+ spanks and then another 10 or so with a belt/switch/hairbrush.
Personally I think it is nuts and it sounds like this guy has dominance issues. I'm not saying all cases are bad (although I dont agree with it), but this guy has a complex.
She needs to grow a pair and stand up to her husband.
{Blog: Adventures of AlaskanAlison}
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* Wedding website w/ lots of Negril info*
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I cannot FREAKING BELIEVE something like this exists! Most people won't even punish their children this way. Someone in one of the comments asked if they were aware that punishing children this way would be considered abuse and they could be arrested for it.
Like pp's have said, if the case were that both of them could "punish" the other, I wouldn't have as much of a problem with it. Would I still think it's strange? Definitely. But if they were both on the receiving end it would at least seem more fair. Like Sarah said, is this guy some kind of saint? Does he never mess up?
What I find hilarious (in a sick way) is that in this post http://ourutahlife.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-we-got-started-with-domestic.html he says that they talked about it before marriage but decided to wait until after they were married to start. I can't help but think, "Yeah, because if you started it before marriage it would have been a hell of a lot easier for her to leave your crazy azz!"
wait, what? your husbands don't strip you naked and make you stand in the corner when you're out of line?
oh, wait.
i discussed this over the weekend with Rose and DH. i think these people are seriously demented - whether that's close minded or not. kyle thinks it is absolutely insane (thank god). i can't imagine living in fear of my husband - which is exactly what she's doing. completely brainwashed. so glad that we fight so hard for women's rights and there are still women out there like this.
ummm....Wow. I...I....hmmmm...
I agree with what everyone else has already said. & honestly, I think I'm somewhat naive as to what really goes on in this world, b/c I NEVER would have thought people would practice these types of things & then think it's ok. I don't really understand their reasoning in any of it. It actually completely disgusts me that this is their way of thinking.
Where the heck are these people from?
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aaah, Utah.
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explains so much, no?
Holy crap! Reading it, I said to myself "I sure hope this *** is made up."
WhoTF would accept a relationship like that? I have complete respect for Erik and he has complete respect for me. If I got pulled over for speeding, it's not a disrespect to him that he "woke up". WTF??????????? Wait til I show him this....
I mean, I don't want to rag on Utah or the people who live there....but some funky things go on out there! Between the polygamists (love BIG LOVE btw), there crazy liquor laws, & now this....it just doesn't surprise me that this is where they live.
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Well I meandered onto another blog and this lady seems to get spanked every week. She says that she WANTS this in her life, but she also talks about "BabyMan (yes, that's what she calls him) being deaf to her pleading cries."
I have got to quit reading this crap. I'm going to have some hellacious dreams tonight.
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* Wedding website w/ lots of Negril info*
*~FOR SALE~*
I really feel like this whole thing is a form of being brainwashed.
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yeah, i thought about my comment after i posted - and i apologize if i offended anyone reading - if you are from utah or have family from utah.
not to overgeneralize, but i dated a guy that moved to park city and when i would go visit him the chicks he hung out with seemed so....odd? and sheltered? and brainwashed for lack of a better word.
i just have a hard time believing that ANYONE would want to be beaten - especially not to the point where they are crying, have welps and bruises, etc. In one post she says something like, "i lost count after 30" and that was just when he was spanking her with his hand. He moved on to a paddle or some thing after that. nutso.
yup, I had the same thoughts after I put "aaah, Utah". LOL! I didn't want people to think I was generalizing everyone who lived in utah...you know?
I don't dislike Utah, just went there for vaca in April & it's gorgeous. but I agree with people seeming a bit "sheltered" out there. What got me is that she has to ask to do things....I think in one post she wanted to go to the movies or something & she had to ask him if she could go?? & he told her no, so she had a tantrum or something. I mean, are they married or is he her father? WTF.
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I am just completely baffled. I lurked on a few other blogs and...wow. Some of the husbands even blog about their wives' disobedience.
The thing I don't get...how do you agree to this in the first place? It seems like all the blogs I have read mention how they started DD - the husband researched it and all of the sudden said "I'm going to spank you when you misbehave." Really? If Grant ever approached me with this idea, I'd say "You'll have to discuss this option with your second wife."
These women all seem like smart girls...why don't they deserve as much respect as they are giving their husbands?
OK, I really had no problem with this from that first post I read. For all we know maybe she gets off on this and just doesn't talk about that. But then i read this...
I really wasn't sure if he was going to spank me or not, but he ended up choosing to do so. It really wasn't supposed to be that severe but due to me moving around and continually telling him to stop during it, it got to be pretty bad. Parker used a belt and a paddle, although he ended up having to use the belt for most of it because I just couldn't hold still and cooperate like I knew I should have. He spanked me bare, over some pillows on our bed. I didn't really count the number, but it was a LOT of times. I'm still pretty sore, but trust me-- I'll never do that again. I definitely learned.
You say "Stop!" he should stop. It's one thing to play games or whatever, but if it's mutual he should stop when she says to, IMO. If he keeps going he's doing so without her consent so it goes from mutual play to abuse.
I am probably the most conservative person I know - we have a traditional biblical view of marriage. I don't talk about it much, because most people just don't understand. They hear the word "submission" and think of it negatively - which it isn't - and which is something for another thread entirely. But anyways... the spanking...
Never in a million years would I allow my husband to spank me or send me to bed... Or use any type of physical force to "teach me a lesson". Never. It's abuse if you ask me. I don't care if she is okay with it - what's that disease where you fall in love with your abductor/molestor? You know what I'm talking about...
My first thought was also "why doesn't the wife get to 'punish' her husband?" then I found this site which is BSC. Apparently for a lot of couples it's a religious things and it has to do w/ the husband being the head of household and it being his duty to "guide" his wife, by "spanking" if need be. There's a part of this site that tells a husband how to "spank" his wife the right way and that he should do it until she's crying and pleading. That's just messed up.
I was telling DH about it last night and he just laughed and said he knows that sh!t wouldn't fly in our house....lol
She must have JUST moved it to private - because I just read it about 10 minutes ago! Bascially - her husband spanks her and puts her in time out when she is bad. And one of her posts she said that she was screaming and begging for him to stop with the paddle and the belt.
Yikes.
We are all different on this board - and that's totally fine and acceptable, and pretty awesome that we all have the common bond of a DW to bring us together from all walks of life. Many marriages work under the thinking of the man is the head of the household - however, if I learned your husband was punishing you like this, I'd have to talk to you about it, nestie to nestie. No one - not a husband, stranger, family member, etc - should beat you on any part of your body with their hand, a switch, a paddle, a brush, etc until you are crying, pleading for them to stop, and cannot sit down for several days.
LOL!
I agree with you 100%
I can't stop thinking about this girl! Can't stop. Probably a good thing her blog is private now or I would be stalking it constantly.