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Dog vs. Toddler - Advice please...
I know there's a good mix of dog owners / rescuers / marrieds and moms on this board and I'd like to hear your thoughts on my current "situation." Forgive the length...
My H and I have had a yellow lab for 8 years - he's a best friend and family member and we love him dearly. We've always known him to be agressive towards dogs but never ever towards humans. Until this past weekend, when he bit my toddler. Specifically, my son grabbed his tail and - to be fair - I think he tried to stick his finger up his butt. We all have lines, and I think my kid crossed the dog's.
In response, the dog pinned my son down and bit him in the neck and head. He required stitches and was just terrified - as were we.
So...now it's decision-time. Keeping the dog is not an option at all. There's a 100% chance that my kid is going to tug on him again. My husband doesn't want to put the dog down, and prefers to try to find him a new home. I'm not convinced that's the right thing in this situation. The dog has previously displayed aggression towards other dogs, and now towards children. I don't want to shove our problem off on someone else who won't have as "vested" a relationship. I don't want to give him away, only to have someone else dump in a shelter a month later to be euthanized by strangers. I think we need to man-up, take the dog to the vet, and put him to sleep ourselves.
I hate it that my H and I are not on the same page about this. I don't want to be the lady that killed his dog. But I want to do the best thing for my kid. While simulataneously not making up a b.s. reason to put a dog to sleep.
WWCND?
(please don't make me go to the Pets board).
Re: Dog vs. Toddler - Advice please...
dude, you can't be serious. kill the dog because he acted like a dog when provoked?
I get maybe not wanting the dog in your house if you can't keep an eye on your child around the dog, but wouldn't it be better to have the dog live in another loving home without other dogs or menacing toddlers?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
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Thanks. Honestly - other than my H you're the first who have suggested that I'm not an a$$hole for letting the dog live this long. The vet, all of the "rescue" groups I've spoken to have told me to immediately give the dog the big sleep.
I suppose the professional advice is based on the fact that he's tangled with dogs in the past + now biting a kid in the neck (vs. the hand, which I'm told would have been a "warning"). The pin down + neck bite meant he was serious.
And when I say "pinned down," I mean it. My H had to kick the dog about 3 times while I hit him with a wooden spoon before we could get my son out from under him. The wooden spoon thing now seems sort of funny in a very crass way.
I would just keep the dog separated from the toddler or find someone willing to take the dog.I wouldn't put him down for biting someone that shoved their hand up his butt. He was just being a dog.
I do thoroughly understand not feeling safe with the dog in the house, but I don't think he's incapable of living peacefully in a house without small children.
Look, I'm not a dog person and I think euthanasia is often the best and right choice, but COME ON. Your dog was attacked and defended himself. Where were you while this was happening?
I get not wanting the dog in your house anymore, but you OWE it to the dog who did NOTHING wrong to find it a home that is toddler free. It was your responsibility to supervise the dog and toddler until the toddler knows how to behave with the dog. You failed at that. Now it's your responsibility to find the dog a good home.
I think that info does change my thoughts a bit. I do think he's most likely be okay in a house without children, but it might be very hard finding someone willing to take him. If you can't, you're kind of out of options.
I really don't know the right answer to this situation, but I'm pretty sure it isn't putting the dog down.
Can you put the dog through some sort of intensive training regimen, and just keep him separated from the kid unless under heavy supervision?
This is the current plan. Unfortunately, it's been a few days and we haven't found a single lead. Non-kill shelters won't accept him and none of our family and friends (who have all seen him in action with other dogs) are willing to take him either. How long is it reasonable to do this? Another 2 weeks? 6 weeks? 6 months??
I shouldn't say "no leads." I spoke to a lady through Craigslist this morning who assures me that a dog will be good for her bi-polar disorder. And, she's been sober for 112 days, so obviously she's ready for a dog. No worries about small children b/c they've apparently been taken away by the state - how lucky for us!
Yeah, I agree. Which is a real shame.
This dog is a member of your family. It is your responsibility to spend the time working with the dog to rehabilitate it.
Honestly, I think you should ask the Pets board for suggestions. There are some fanatics there, but you can still glean plenty of helpful ideas or recommendations from them.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
For the record - my consideration of putting the dog down is not punative. I don't think the dog "deserves" to die or that his reaction was totally unjustified (well, clearly over the top, but you know what I mean). I want to do the "right" thing, but I can't figure out what that is.
Sheesh, that is horrifying. I love my dog so much, I almost consider her a child. Almost. Not a child though. And if we had to use force to pull her away from violently attacking my kid, I don't think I'd be comfortable with her in our home anymore**.
Edit: **At least not until we got her some sort of training and were confident that she was 'rehabilitated'.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I foster for a couple rescues here in town. None of them would tell you to put your dog down without meeting them first. If the dog is otherwise healthy, we would get the dog into a foster home for evaluation and then place it with a family with no children. The new owners just need to be aware of the situation. Just because the dog is 8 doesn't mean that he can't adjust to living with another family.
Have you tried contacting any Lab rescues?
I've contacted 2 lab rescues (the only 2 I could find). The first said that he was too old (lame). And the second said said that they don't accept dogs with "bite history."
I'm in Michigan - know of any rescues here?
I would not feel comfortable with the dog in my house and I would not feel comfortable adopting it out since it has been aggressive in the past. I think the only option would be to find a place that can address behavior.
Thank you, thank you!! That would be great! I can send photos or a bio or whatever. Also - I know I'm not supposed to say this (b/c apparently it will attract weirdos) but we're willing to pay any / all expenses associated with his care plus months and months of food / toys / treats / vet check-ups - whatever. Let me know!!
Does your SPCA or ASPCA have an animal behaviorist on staff that you can see? We did that for our dog (fee for service) We've been three times. They assess, make recommendations, and (at least ours) will flat out tell you if they think the dog needs to be put down.
In your shoes, I would put the dog down. Even rehoming someplace without children (except maybe an honest to god rural farm) does not provide enough of a guarantee (to me) of the dog not being pulled on by a child again. I could not live with myself knowing that danger was out there.
And this comes from someone who has done everything humanly possible to keep a dog who bites alive. Ours has only nipped hands.
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I'm not sure you are in the best position to be calling a rescue lame for not taking your dog off your hands. Any idea how many labs/lab mixes get into the shelter/rescue system? It's an overwhelming number. Maybe they are full, maybe they don't have enough fosters, maybe the economy has impacted their ability to find good adopters, maybe they can't afford behaviorists, etc etc. Having been on their side of it, it's not easy to have to decline or to come up empty handed even if you really want to help.
Anyway, sounds like a pp has some contacts that might be able to help. I hope one of the rescues can help you, but please don't re-home your dog by yourselves, especially given the special circumstances.
Is your dog a rescue/shelter dog or from a breeder?
I was referring to the age-limit policy as lame! Although - I guess you're right. There's too many dogs and not enough space and there has to be a line somewhere. I think the point about not re-homing without behavioural assistance is a good one. We adopted the dog from an out-of-state rescue and I can't remember the name, it's been so long.
Also - Mod - good tip. I've contacted the humane society and hopefully they'll get back to me with a behaviorist reccomendation.
Finally - and this is obviously my insecurity talking - my kid wasn't "unsupervised." I was sitting on the couch with my husband and our son was "cruising" along the coffee table - not 3 feet away. Our dog was sort of hanging out near everyone and the entire incident happened and was over in 8 seconds or less. Not really necessary to the story, but just wanted to put that out there.
I knew what you were calling lame! And my point stands - maybe they have an age limit as a way of not arbitrarily declining dogs, maybe they know that they rarely or never get people willing to adopt "senior" dogs, etc etc. I just think people have misconceptions about how rescues work, and hence can be unreasonable in what they expect them to do.
The first thing you need to do is dig up that rescue name and contact them (if they are still active). I would be surprised if you didn't sign something that said if for any reason things didn't work out, the dog must be returned to them. I've never heard of a rescue that didn't have that policy.
I know the rescue I got Monty from did