Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Sexting? How do you forgive and move on?
lolol
I received my daily/weekly email and this link was the first thing on the email. I didn't even know I was responding to an issue that isn't even current. Boy did I just waste my time!!!
it came up in an eblast, as a link. Probably a lot of people could relate to it, and wanted to comment. It doesn't matter how old it is, people can relate to the situation and other women in the future I'm sure can use the advice, even if it's not for the original poster of the comment.
80% of people in marriages are cheating at the moment. So this affects a lot of people.
Yeah, we're definitely getting trolled.
i read advice from people from years ago... I'm sure you'll be helping someone.
Hmm. Now I don't feel so bad for boning the neighbor.
I highly doubt the OP is going to come back and read this.
Not to mention, I definitely wouldn't be taking advice from someone who is staying with a man who cheated on her.
It was linked from the Bump newsflash email today.
JesusChrist.
As someone who is extremely empathetic to your situation I will tell you; you don't forgive and you can't move on. it's stays with you everyday; anything is a reminder, and you feel like... I can't describe it -like sh*t. Do what i didn't have the guts to do initially in my last marriage. Leave- take your kids and be out! My daughter is 15 and a fantastic young lady who understands that mom had enough self respect to eventually get her life back.
As for sexting...my neighbor recently learned that her husband was doing the same thing as yours. Although he said he stopped the sexting and communicating, in reality he had gotten a prepaid Go-Phone from ATT the network the other woman was on (my neighbors are on sprint) and he would hide it/keep it on silent. She found the phone in his car but it was missing the SIM card. she found the sim card in his briefcase and used my phone to see what was on it.... MY heart broke for her..
If they work together then they are still seeing each other, no doubt about it. there's only so much you can text/say without curiosity peaking. Does this girl even know that he's married? I hope not-otherwise shame on her!!!!
Once a cheater...always a cheater. I"m soo sorry
This was sent in a BUMP email as a topic link- and it did peak curiosity. I felt no reason to respond except to let you non-newbies know why people are responding now. Stupid question from an un-loved "newbie", but what is BUMP MODE?
This is not the "bump."
You can set each board to "bump" threads to the top when there's a new reply.
It's at the bottom of each board. You just set it to "Last post date".
It's a setting where the message boards show the most recent response rather than list the posts by date. (you can change the setting at the bottom of the page.) It's helpful to see what people are commenting on most or when old posts get resurrected, otherwise we'd never notice all the new responses on this post because it would be back on page 57.
AMOK AMOK AMOK AMOK!!!!!!
LOUD NOISES, LOUD NOISES, LOUD NOISES!!!!!!
This is what happens when we don't have a mod and that silly Gatekeeper is buys doing her real job!!
::runs through post naked and smacks Smock, Joce and SCC on the ass::
I have found myself in a similar situation. My husband has an addiction to pornography and it has devastated me to know that he is looking at other women for sexual satisfaction. He did this before we were married, (has since he was twelve) and told me about it. He said he had 'fixed' the problem and a year later we got married. Three weeks after the marriage he 'relapsed' and I found out that the entire year before we married he had still been looking at it (just "not as much"). He was humiliated and ashamed that he couldn't seem to stop. He promised that he didn't want to have the problem anymore and would do his best to overcome and manage his addiction.
I decided to give it another shot. He is a magnificent man in every other way...kind, thoughtful, funny, etc. We went to counseling and for a while things seemed to get better. I got pregnant with twins and then three months after their birth, I found out he was still looking. Again, he expressed self-loathing and desire to change.
I cannot tell you the saddness and betrayal I have felt. However, I am giving it another chance. Sometimes I have wondered if this means I am weak or strong. Am I strong to be sticking it out with him...or does it make me weak? Some people don't even see it is as a problem...but it has affected our marriage and the connection we have.
I am staying, in big part, because we now have two children in the mix and they deserve to have two parents willing to do their best to make things work. I do not stay because I like being a doormat or think that I deserve this (I deserve a man who is in it just for me). But, I am still in it because he is WILLING to go to counseling, willing to work on the addiction, he is the one doing all the calling and work to get things rolling. He has NEVER blamed me or yelled at me or spoken harshly...he has always owned up and taken full responsibility for his actions. I feel that as long as he is working and willing to work and try, then so am I.
Your husband does not seem willing to try. That is a worry. If he blames you and doesn't 'man up' to HIS side of this problem, that is something that might point towards moving on. Especially before children are involved! I feel for you...these kinds of betrayals are so devastating for women. Please, hold tight, trust your heart and your instinct and know that you are definitely not on your own...so many women are dealing with these issues.
Me likey!
AMOK AMOK AMOK
HUBBUB HUBBUB HUBBUB
I LOVE LAMP
I went through this exact same situation. The sexting was with numerous women, though. And there was even singles websites that he was frequenting to meet women. I know how it feels, and after going through it for almost FOUR YEARS! I finally realized it wasn't ever going to change. Sure, he'd stop when I busted him, but eventually he would start back up again. Your husband may be the exception, but mine was the rule. Just don't drive yourself crazy trying to keep tabs on him. It isn't healthy for you. If you can't trust him, I hate to say it, but you don't deserve to be treated like that, and maybe you should consider your options.
Best of luck.
I too agree with this statement. He is basically saying that you are the problem when he refuses to go to counseling and not work on your future together. It is his way of not owning up to his misgivings (and from what many of us have said.....he has not been faithful in more ways than one)
You need to rely on family and friends to help you through this rough time and make it to a better place in life. Nobody deserves to be treated like yesterday's news and right now, you are the only one preventing yourself from being just that if you stay with him
Good Luck and many hugs!!!