Sex & Romance
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Is sex supposed to be this messy?

Before we got married, we always used condoms, and cleanup was pretty easy. But now we've stopped using condoms and it's gotten very messy. I have to hold a towel underneath while he pulls out and then run to the bathroom before it gushes out all over the place. The first few times we weren't prepared and made a big, wet mess on the sheets. I know that this is probably TMI, but I just want to know if this is normal???

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Re: Is sex supposed to be this messy?

  • I was a virgin when DH and I got married, so I really didn't know what to expect. But things get a little messy at our house too! I wasn't expecting that! TV and movies make it look so neat and clean, like you can get it on then go on with your day, haha! I always feel like I need to go clean up after sex.
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  • Completely normal. H and I were just talking about this last night, lol.
  • I am so glad to hear this. You are right about the TV and movies thing. I guess that's why I was concerned!
  • lol, completely normal.
  • lol yep very normal! T.V. sex is a shame!

    You'll get a system down soon enough!

    For us : I get him to pull out SLOWLY and use my hand to stop any crazy leaking, usually this is enough and I can walk slowly over to the washroom to pee and clean up. If it's uber messy then H goes to the washroom after he pulls out and grabs me some kleenex ..I clean a little and walk/waddle over to the washroom to finish the cleanup. H usually has to clean up a little too anyway so by the time I'm done, he's clean, back on the bed/couch/where-ever and ready to cuddle a little.

     

  • We always have sex on a towel because of the mess factor.
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  • This thread is too funny. FWIW, there isn't much leaking in anal sex.
  • LOL, we always argue who has to sleep in the "wet" spot!  Usually I just get up and change the sheets quick and throw them in the laundry.  I think every couple talks about it!
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  • Sex is messy, eh.

    We roll over and go to sleep. 

  • Go to Target and buy a bunch of dishcloths.  You can get 6 for about $5.  Keep them by the bed and after your husband has ejaculated, just have him pull out slowly and quickly put the dishcloth between your legs.  Then you can do the waddle to the bathroom without worrying.

    Just toss them in the wash afterwards.  Get them in a dark color for that time of the month. 

  • We have been buying baby wipes to clean up with until we can go to the bathroom. Then again, we live with my parents right now.Still, it definitely works! Cheap and disposable!
  • Am I missing something- isn't it better when its a little messy? ;)

    Haha- I usually just hop up and head to the bathroom right after (you're supposed to pee after anyways to prevent uti)

  • imageDancinPrinzess:

    Before we got married, we always used condoms, and cleanup was pretty easy. But now we've stopped using condoms and it's gotten very messy. I have to hold a towel underneath while he pulls out and then run to the bathroom before it gushes out all over the place. The first few times we weren't prepared and made a big, wet mess on the sheets. I know that this is probably TMI, but I just want to know if this is normal???

    Yes it is!!! We have special rags we call "Sex Rags". They are thinner than towels, I think they are old white napkins. And we keep them in our pillow cases. After business time I hold a Sex Rag under myself while he pulls out and I wipe. I'm too lazy to get up so I usually just keep it between my legs just in case any more comes out...Fiance likes to cuddle, but I'm the one who passes out. hahahaha

  • This is a funny thread but definitely keep "sex rags" near the bed. Cup your lady parts and quickly waddle to the bathroom!

     

  • Grow up! Have him pull out and *** in your mouth so you can swallow. I always love to swallow for my DH even if hes so thick it won't fit completely in my mouth. I love my DH huge load.No Mess to clean up.
  • imagethemrs830:

    Am I missing something- isn't it better when its a little messy? ;)

    ROFL!  Oh my gosh!  That was my thought exactly!  Cool

    As for us, we just change the sheets real quick.  It's kind of become a joke between us.  We joke that whoever made the bigger mess has to change the sheets.  Usually that means we have to both help change them.

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  • imagebinzy2524:
    Grow up! Have him pull out and *** in your mouth so you can swallow. I always love to swallow for my DH even if hes so thick it won't fit completely in my mouth. I love my DH huge load.No Mess to clean up.

     

    Is this a joke??? 

    Anyways, thank you everyone for the reassurance and advice! I love to hear that I'm not the only one who awkwardly waddles to the bathroom! I would love to go straight into cuddling afterwords, but I just can't stand making a mess on the sheets. I will definitely get some special "sex rags" to keep nearby!

  • Well, I bet he'd like it if he got to go in your mouth every time.  I've got a funny story for the OP.  I was with an ex and we were wiping up with tissues after sex.  Then I threw the tissue towards the trashcan, but the tissue stuck on the wall instead of bouncing down to the can.  It was pretty funny.

    To the OP, try to get in the habit of going to pee afterwards.  You'll do a better job at clean-up and that will make you more comfortable at night and prevent bladder infections/uti's.

  • LOL, The Mr. and I were also talking about this last night. We always used to use condoms to because me and the pill couldn't hang out. Just before his vasectomy I watched an episode of Sex and the City where they were talking about what goes up must come down and I was like "what, what...seriously!" I like literally thought it was just absorbed into our bodies. Totally naive I know but I was stunned!

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  • imagebinzy2524:
    Grow up! Have him pull out and *** in your mouth so you can swallow. I always love to swallow for my DH even if hes so thick it won't fit completely in my mouth. I love my DH huge load.No Mess to clean up.

     HAHAHA.... how about fvuk no!  I never let DH do this, and he knows it... Im not a prude and I will give the occasional BJ, but do what YOU"RE comfortable with!!!! 

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  • LOL, yes it is just like everybody already said. We actually have a box of Kleenex tissues next to the bed. Before he pulls out, FI and I both grab a tissue and then hold down/up the "messiness" before we go to the bathroom :) Works just fine.
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  • Yep, sounds about right. I've decided the best things in life are messy... sex, kids, chocolate, etc :)

    DH and I used to just cuddle after, so we'd use a "sex rag" to clean up a little and I'd keep it between my legs incase of any "extra" leaking. I got a bladder infection about a year ago (never had one before). Ever since then I waddle to the bathroom with the towel and pee after sex b/c it reduces the risk of bladder infections. Haven't had one since. I join DH for cuddling after.

  • Yes, and I hate it. We developed a trick though: he picks me up and carries me over to the toilet or shower before pulling out. No rags required, though I should put a couple in the nightstand if we want to try that. Towels also work pretty well for general non-mess.
  • I was a virgin when we got married too, but a good friend warned me about it so on our honeymoon we kept hand towels by the bed (and tipped the maid VERY well). We have a stack of rags at the end of the bed and after sex, he pulls out and then grabs me a rag. I just hold it to myself and sit up and it pours right out. I haven't found that it comes out before I sit up though. Clenching your kegals a few times walking to the bathroom usually helps get the last of it out. 

    We have used condoms a few times too even though I am on BC. Its nice not to have either of us get out of bed to clean up right away.  

  • SurpriseEmbarrassed i'm sori i was ...we were both virgins wen we got married. i NEVER even knew about all this! we've been using condoms ever since we wed bak in Dec ' 09. this was a true eye opener for me!
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  • My Fiance and I use a ShamWow...contains even the biggest loads Embarrassed
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  • imageDaringMiss:

    Go to Target and buy a bunch of dishcloths.  You can get 6 for about $5.  Keep them by the bed and after your husband has ejaculated, just have him pull out slowly and quickly put the dishcloth between your legs.  Then you can do the waddle to the bathroom without worrying.

    Just toss them in the wash afterwards.  Get them in a dark color for that time of the month. 

    Who has sex during that time of the month?!  It's gross and can lead to endometriosis!!

  • imagekjacobs-boer:
    imageDaringMiss:

    Go to Target and buy a bunch of dishcloths.  You can get 6 for about $5.  Keep them by the bed and after your husband has ejaculated, just have him pull out slowly and quickly put the dishcloth between your legs.  Then you can do the waddle to the bathroom without worrying.

    Just toss them in the wash afterwards.  Get them in a dark color for that time of the month. 

    Who has sex during that time of the month?!  It's gross and can lead to endometriosis!!

     

    Says who?

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  • We keep a box of tissues in the bedroom, not just for sex though.  They come in handy though.  He typically grabs one, cleans up a little, then I waddle to the bathroom.  Easy and not messy at all.

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  • I love that everyone says they waddle to the bathroom. So true. :-)
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