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NFR: But etiquette question

But is not family related but you ladies always give rational, level-headed advice, so I thought I'd ask over here since I don't follow many boards.

I am having a small (about 20 people) graduation brunch (sitdown) for my DH who is graduating with his MBA in December. I am inviting a friend of ours who DH has been friends with since college, but we mostly see in group settings. At a wedding this September he brought his girlfriend, who we had never met and have never seen since. Even when a smaller group of us gets together, his girlfriend is always invited, but he never brings her.

My question is this, I don't know her last name, nor do I know if they are still dating (haven't gotten together with him since this wedding). Do I just include a note in the invitation letting him know she is invited? Do I email and ask for her last name to include on the invitation? My thought on this is that it could be awkward if they are no longer together. This is obviously a much less formal situation than a wedding, but I still don't want to be rude. 

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Re: NFR: But etiquette question

  • This is where I would check his facebook status lol.

    but I'm guessing that's not an option...so I think I'd probably just put her name on the invite (just her first name) if they broke up he'll let you know, if they haven't broken up then you look nice for including her in the invite.

  • I think i would just put a note in the invitation telling him that he's welcome to bring a guest.
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  • Invite him "and guest" and ask him to RSVP. That way, he'll know he can bring her along (if they're still together) or just come alone (if they're not, or if she doesn't want to come).
  • Call him, ask him her last name, and he'll tell you if they're still dating and then you'll know whether to invite her with both names.
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  • I would either call and ask him her name and if they are still dating, or just put "and guest" on his invitation.
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  • imageSue_sue:
    Call him, ask him her last name, and he'll tell you if they're still dating and then you'll know whether to invite her with both names.

    This.  :)

  • Can you ask someone else in your group of friends?

  • If he's a good enough friend to invite to your party, why isn't he a good enough friend to just call or email and ASK if he's still seeing her? But honestly, if you're not even close enough to know if he broke up with his girlfriend or not I don't understand why you're inviting him to your party to begin with.
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  • imageEastCoastBride:
    I think i would just put a note in the invitation telling him that he's welcome to bring a guest.

     

    This

  • imageEastCoastBride:
    I think i would just put a note in the invitation telling him that he's welcome to bring a guest.

    Agreed.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • imageSue_sue:
    Call him, ask him her last name, and he'll tell you if they're still dating and then you'll know whether to invite her with both names.

    Ok, I agree with this, too.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Address the envelope to him; and put both first names only on the inviation, if it is informal.

    However, I personally would just call him and ask him.

    BTW - facebook was my saviour when sending out my wedding invitations so check that first.

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  • A lot of times men will bring girlfriends - even ones they are not serious about - to weddings b/c weddings are such couple things, and they don't want to be left out, sitting around while couples are together, etc.  Most other functions (like your lunch) aren't quite the same. 

    I would call and say "we're sending you and invite to H's graduation lunch.  Are you still dating Jane?   Because you are welcome to bring her."  If he says no, then you can ask "are you dating anyone else?  I'll put their name on the invite." 

    This is a friend of your H, you shouldn't feel awkward about asking if they have a g.f.  IMO, that's not too personal a question for a friend who is one of 20 people you are inviting to a lunch for your dh!

  • Thanks ladies! I agree - Facebook was amazing for wedding invites. His relationship status is blank which I don't think I can take to mean anything as he's not a big Facebooker.

    I have asked a few other people and none of them know either - I'm not surprised, tends to fly under the radar with these things. I talked to the bride of the recent wedding and she said although she invited him with a plus one, he called 2 days before the wedding to say he was now bringing someone.

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  • imageMaybride2:

     But honestly, if you're not even close enough to know if he broke up with his girlfriend or not I don't understand why you're inviting him to your party to begin with.

     

    this 100%

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