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BLERG
Preface: I'm in my department alone until Wednesday because my 2 coworkers are at a conference. We have several classes in for training/seminars this week, so I have been doing all of the set up, coordinating, etc. on my own. Also, it's snowy and icy and 25 degrees below zero.
The last 12 odd hours of my life have gone like this:
6:30pm: Arrive home from work. Find out that our condo building has no water. There was a leak, a valve broke, the city has to come turn off the water before plumber can do anything about it. We assume this will happen quickly. This is a mistake.
8:00pm: Still no water, plans for making spaghetti and meatballs officially abandoned. Cereal for supper, good attitude in tact.
10:00pm: Use the washroom for the 3rd time without flushing. Wiping slowly to avoid pee hand. Hand sanitizer just not cutting it anymore.
11:00pm: Paige sits in front of her empty water bowl, looks at me mournfully as if to ask why I am allowing her to die of thirst. Good attitude beginning to slip away.
11:45pm: Heith arrives home with a pack of bottled water. Paige is saved from certain death by thirst, I am saved from certain death by hand grossness.
12:30am: Bed
2:30am: OMG WHERE AM I DID I SLEEP IN?!
2:35am: Toilet becomes even more unspeakable.
4:50am: Still no water. Pack a bag and drive to sister's apartment to shower and get ready.
6:10am: Arrive back home, get into work clothes, drive to work.
6:45am: Arrive at work, set up for seminars, almost get murdered in dark basement while getting cans of juice.
7:15am: Seminar facilitators arrive, express disdain for the room they are set up in. Smile maniacally and apologize, good attitude thrown into a bag of poo and set aflame.
8:00am: Go to mom's FB page to leave a message about plans next month, see sexually suggestive comments from DenimLorne.
8:01am: Attempt suicide
8:02am: Suicide attempt thwarted by realization that Heith will not be home until late, leaving Paige in danger of dying of thirst again.
8:03am: Write self e-mail to remember to clip Paige's nails.
8:05am: Use work bathroom, shreds of good attitude return as warm water and soap abound.
The end.
Re: BLERG
Holy smokes. Having no water is the pits.
How did you almost get murdered in the basement!?
Why would you make me relive the horror? WHY DO YOU HATE ME?
If only Eddie realized how close he was to tasting the sweet death only a monkey keychain can bring!
I got stuck in my backyard this morning. The latch on our gate was frozen shut. I was laughing like a madwoman as I desperately attempted to pry it open, but the foffer wouldn't budge. You'd think that would have alerted me to the fact I should probably be wearing my ear warmers and gloves, but I am not teh smart. So I cut Maggie's walk short because I was freezing to death every time the wind blew. Now I'm at work with no hot chocolate. Life is sad.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Christin, I'll have you know that I'd make a lovely ivory shrug, glove and hat set.
It's true Cali, and he'll never know. Instead of the sweet taste of death by monkey keychain, he got the sweet taste of a can of Minute Maid orange juice. I'm sorry about your gate, and I don't have any hot chocolate either. Hold my hand, we'll be ok.
I hate the smell of hand sanitizer. maybe you can keep designated disposable potty gloves in your washroom.
I've cried twice today, already. Big, heaving sobbing ugly cries. One crying jag included my dad as audience to me sobbing "I can't take anymore, stupid husband and this plac eis driving me mental and i'm pr-pr-pr-pregnaaaaaaant!!!" What a way for him to find out.
Aw, Sam. I imagine your dad feebly wimpering "Congratulations". Sorry your day is sucking too.
I hate hand sanitizer in general. It smells funny, it's sticky and gross feeling. Bleh. While driving on a dark, icy road at 5am this morning, I decided that if the water isn't back on when I get home today, we are checking into a hotel for the night. This week is too busy and too cold and I am too much of a baby to deal with this sh*t.
Aw Sam, I'm sorry. What did your dad say?
Thank you for your entertaining timeline of woe Jens. Your pain amuses me.
I think you deserve a night of hotel living and room service.
My dad did kind of say "Congratulations" feebly then gave me a big hug and a timbit.
Oh Jens. That sucks.
Sam, that's a memorable way to tell your dad he's going to be a grandfather again!
May I add to the Blergyness? Maggie is still a grouch after her sickness this weekend...and then Mike came home from work last night and after handling the kids starting puking and crapping his brains out. F'n A.
So far this month I've had mastitis and the kids and I had an awful cold, Maggie's been sick, Mike's been traveling for work, and Owen turned into a crappy sleeper. We're supposed to host Thanksgiving, so I passed that buck. We just need to catch a break here.
Aw! Did the timbit make it at least a little better? Canada.
Yikes, Kristen, I'll take my water-lessness over sick, grouchy kids and barfing husbands any day. You want to come stay in a hotel with me?
Noisy, it makes me happy that my pain can bring you joy.
Does your monkey keychain contain a shiv?
My blerg: the North Korea situation is freaking me the foff out. The bombing wasn't anywhere near where my brother lives, but his work had him in the DMZ last week. TOO CLOSE.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
HERE HERE!
Yeah, but I bet you don't have timbits.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Unfortunately, no. Although my condo key is one of those huge, badasss looking keys. So maybe that counts.
I would be flipping my sh*t if any of my family was over there right now.
After hearing everyone elses' stories, I feel like an asssface for complaining about no water. Maybe moo can make me a tragedy card. "Can't wash hands!"
My puny little whine is that I was up until 2:30 AM because I thought it would be a great idea to make 48 pumpkin cream cheese muffins in addition to all the other crap I had to do to get ready to go out of town. I discovered this morning that 4 hours of sleep is not sufficient for me to function, and I'm a total crankopotamus. Then we hit the road early to make it to my in-laws at the requested 10 AM, which I expressed last night seemed kind of dumb, made it here on time and nobody was ready to leave to drive for lunch. Yeah, because nobody eats lunch at 10 freakin AM, which was my argument last night. So here we still sit, at the house that smells like stale pee and overpowering potpouri, and all I can think about (besides the smell of urine which is pretty distracting) is that I could have slept for a couple more hours.
See, puny little petty crankopotamus am I.
The Canadian version of a Dunkin Munchkin.
Why doesn't anyone ever pay me in Timbits?
I have no idea WTF a timbit OR a dunkin munchkin are
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
You have too little water, I have too much. Last night the bedroom ceiling sprung a leak. Well, actually, it's probably been leaking a while, only we couldn't see it. We can sure see it now, what with the ceiling plaster coming down in chunks and the built up water pouring in once the paint layers gave way. I think that area has leaked before, it appears to have been patched and repainted.
Then, I put on a load of laundry in the basement. An hour later I go to do the dishes and there's no hot water. I go down to the basement thinking the pilot light on the water heater has gone out (again). Nope, my washer just never stopped filling and has now filled the basement too.
We're supposed to leave town tomorrow for a weekend away with the inlaws. This week sucks.
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.