Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How often do you have sex?
just curious. My fiance seems to think that EVERYONE has sex every single day and most often at least 2-3 times a day. He thinks there is something wrong with me that sometimes I need a break (not even a day break just a time break).
I'm just curious... I mean am i really that outta touch with the reality of sex? All of my girlfrinends say 2-3 times a week IF that and in my past relationships it was not daily, everyday it was more in spurts when the time was right...
TIA 
Re: How often do you have sex?
come on guys/ladies... share your thoughts.
i know it may seem direct or maybe not something you want to share but I'm looking for advice because we have definitely struggled in our relationship because of this. It has gotton better through the last few months but he still needs it daily (which I have compromissed and agreed with) but when he pushes for more and I say no he gets pouty.
I'm really trying to be able to show him its perfectly normal to have it every couple of days...
67/200
Usually 4-5 times a week.
Once a week.
I wish it were more often, but that just isn't possible with our schedules.
Your boyfriend needs to figure out what emotional need he is filling by having sex.
Usually 2-3 times a week. Recently it's been much less because I've been really sick, but now that I'm almost better we'll get back to our normal.
Your FI needs a reality check. And to take your needs into account. Just because he wants it so often doesn't mean you do and that's ok. It's about compromise as well as him figuring out why he wants sex that often.
We go in spurts. Sometimes we will only once every 1-2 weeks, other times we will 2-3 times a day for several days at a time.
Generally I would say about once a week, which is not enough for me but DH works a lot and just in general has a lower sex drive then me.
Holly cow.... I sure am not going to show this to my hubby.
Our schedules suck. I work days, him nights.
We are only able to have sex on the weekends... and hard to do that when the teenager is come. Walls are thin.
Your fiance sounds kind of douchey. It doesn't matter how often other people have sex. Every person is different, and every couple is different, and the only "right" amount of sex is an amount that both partners are comfortable with and enjoy.
If you would both like to have sex more frequently, sometimes you have to make an effort to make time for it. If he wants it more but you're satisfied with less, then you just have different sex drives and you might have to make a difficult decision about whether you're right for each other. Personally, I wouldn't stay with someone who felt the best way to resolve a problem in our relationship, sex-related or not, was to tell me there was something wrong with me and I needed to conform to what he wanted.
no actually he is truly a GOOD man who has a higher sex drive then myself I guess. I was trying to get a poll of random people we dont know so he can see that most men are NOT having sex several times a day
& he is by no means deprived.
We have talked about it and it has gotten so much better in the past few months. He has learned to "deal" with it when I say no. I had to explain that I dont love him any less because I say no but sometimes 'she' needs a break. I'm prone to yeast infections also and in the beginning trying to keep up with 2-3 times a day just wasnt cutting it for my body. Once I had a bad infection that actually turned into a pelvic infection because I kept having sex (my choice not his) after seeing that he understood more and became more cautious of my body and when I tell him stuff is happening down there.
Thanks for everyones input though, I appreciate your honesty!!
Good heavens! "Down there" and "she" is YOU! Your body! Your genitals, your vagina is not a separate entity, it is all you and you have to start claiming the right to your body integrity. You don't have to force your body to do things that are painful or evidently unhealthy (PID) to satisfy his lustful yearnings. It is likely that the friction from repeated sex acts is causing your vaginal lining to experience microtears, leaving you more susceptible to infections.
Seriously, your boyfriend needs to think about why he needs sex that much. While I understand a high sex drive, I also know that sex can be a substitute for a lot of things. A person can be addicted to the high of orgasm. A person can need physical intimacy to fill a psychological emptiness. If he is really willing to have sex 2-3 times a day at 15-30 minutes a round, that is a lot of time from your day.
If he is pitching a bit of a fit when you say "Sorry dear, I have to get to work for a meeting, no time for morning nookie today", then you have to realize that there is more going on here than you having a great sex technique. It is immaturity ("I want my needs met NOW!") or power ("You will satisfy my needs or else") or a gaping childhood wound ("I feel unworthy inside, but if you having sex with me, I know you love me").
Ask him what he likes so much about sex. Ask him how much he masturbates when he is single/alone. Ask him if he is has ever made his penis raw and sore from excessive masturbation.
This!
Pre-engagement, during engagement, honey moon, 1st year, 2nd+ year when reality sinks in or after children?
Pretty much listed in order of popularity.
Try turning it into an erotic game of "lets see how long you can go", and then when the allotted amount of time passes,lavishly reward him and make it worth the wait.
Wether its normal or not depends on each individuals sex drive. My fiancee and I have sex at least three times a day, and it's been that way since we've been together.We were just lucky to be extremely compatible in that arena of our relationship.
Troll.
once every couple of weeks. sometimes more depending on schedules, health and when we're actually home together.
he travels a lot for work, we don't do it when I have AF, and we work different schedules, so its hard to make time for it. Sometimes we'll go a few days in a row of doing it every day. But usually it works out to a couple times one week and then not again for a week or two....
THIS is the same for me. It's alot compared to most couples...