Ummm

MadameD517 · December 2010

I just got told "it's about time" that I'm having a baby. Huh? (By a 20 y/o, but still)

I'm 25. H and I have been married for 2.5 years. I really don't feel like "it's about time" is the right sentiment.

I just needed to share that with some people that would understand where I'm coming from!

hannikan · December 2010

Yeah, as a teacher you get that all.the.time. Including from 8 yr olds. People need to butt out of other people's private lives.

Roni.Cedra · December 2010

I had no idea you were only 25. I thought you were my age... 28. My grandpa informed me that I am no spring chicken so it was good we were starting our family. ;-)

Passanie · December 2010

You must conform.

walker03 · December 2010

Well, I am 32, married for 7 years and we are just now starting to try

People bug you at first but then they shut up for a while and then start up again, it goes in waves.

LuckyCAGal · December 2010

Yea, it it crazy. DH and I are both 27 and we have been married 4 1/2 years and still aren't trying quite yet. People just don't understand why.

jolynreed · December 2010

We were married 5 years by the time Atticus was born, and I'm 28...people thought we were old and that we were waiting too long!

abvernon · December 2010

Heck we got asked at our wedding when we are having kids.

StumpyG · December 2010

Varying concepts of when people "should" do this stuff are so funny. In our current military-oriented community we're ANCIENT for being kid-free (we're 26 and 28), and we're like the no-kid outcasts among throngs of people years younger than us who have 2 or 3 kids a piece. Then there's sentiment in my family that we're total babies and should enjoy being child free for a lot longer. Interesting how people think life "should" progress, isn't it?

wldktz10 · December 2010

Oh my lord, you sure she wasn't 120?

MadameD517 · December 2010

Thanks girls. When it's my 89 y/o Grandma that started at 20, I'm okay with it. I get where she's coming from. When it's kids (yes, I feel like 20 is a kid!) it seems a little odd.

Hannikan, I can only imagine!

Stumpy, some of my family started really young, and then you have my parents that started young-ish and continued having kids until they were "old' (for the time that is- my Mom was 38 when my youngest brother was born and my Dad was 44) It's hilarious how people always judge based on what they did/are doing.

loriruth · December 2010

I get that ALL the time, espeically because DH and I have been married for 5 years. One of my co-workers (who just turned 21), said "WOW! You're that old? You don't look it" the other day. And she was shocked, genuinely shocked, that I was not a mother. I'm 28.

anneg · December 2010

i love the people who argue with us about how we can't seriously NOT want kids. whenever they pull out "you never know..." with a smile and a knowing look, drew always says "not unless science fails us!" the looks some people get on their faces are pretty classic.

fwiw, my oldest sister got pregnant in six week, with twins, at 36. she was 37 when they were born. you've got plenty of time.

CarFar · December 2010

I actually haven't gotten much of this. Maybe it's because I look younger than I am ? Maybe my family is just better at butting out ? Lol Either way, I think people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Also I think people are way to into timelines when it comes to every thing and people would be happier if they didn't do that to themselves ( and others)

hannikan · December 2010

It does annoy me that I only get asked by ppl who don't know my DH is in a wheelchair (ie: ppl who only know me but know I'm married). No one ever asks us or brings up having children when we're together. I don't like that the assumption is that we wouldn't/couldn't have kids because of that.

pink.dutch.tulips · December 2010

i got that too from time to time .. 1st when i got married (at the ripe old age of 32) then when i was pg w/ dd (at 34). it was annoying. hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.

i agree though .. a 20 yo saying that to you is Hmm i can only imagine what she would have said to an old bitty like me LOL !

pink.dutch.tulips · December 2010

abvernon:
Heck we got asked at our wedding when we are having kids.

same here !

melgrady · December 2010

Only a few friends told us it's about time. Some people still think I am too young to be having a baby (I will be 28 when I deliver).

Passanie · December 2010

pink.dutch.tulips:
hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.

Seriously. And how much of this type of attitude is because teenagers are too dumb to figure out how to use a condom and popping out a baby at 15 is becoming more and more normal, hence waiting til you're good and ready is viewed as odd?

MadameD517 · December 2010

Passanie:
pink.dutch.tulips:
hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.
Seriously. And how much of this type of attitude is because teenagers are too dumb to figure out how to use a condom and popping out a baby at 15 is becoming more and more normal, hence waiting til you're good and ready is viewed as odd?

Funny you say this, I found out after that comment that that same 20 y/o is 5 mos. PG. Neither her or her bf have steady jobs, I'd be shocked if either has insurance. Clearly I'm super odd for waiting until I was in a stable relationship, job, and financial situation.

Hannikan, that would bother me too.

hannikan · December 2010

Passanie:
pink.dutch.tulips:
hello people not ALL of us getting married young or have kids young.
Seriously. And how much of this type of attitude is because teenagers are too dumb to figure out how to use a condom and popping out a baby at 15 is becoming more and more normal, hence waiting til you're good and ready is viewed as odd?

Is teen pregnancy becoming more common than when we were teens? Since when? It is definitely becoming more common for married couples to wait longer to have children than in our parents' generation.

Passanie · December 2010

I think the teen pregnancy rate has actually been going down the last few years. No clue how that compares to when we were teens.

Maybe my perspective is just wonky because a) I grew up in a small town with good schools and there were a few pregnant teens, but not a lot and b) ever since moving to California it seems like such a cultural difference that having children young and unmarried is so much more common. I think some of that is likely either a Hispanic cultural influence, or maybe poverty? Who knows.

ETA: Maybe what I'm not so eloquently trying to say is that it doesn't seem to be a bad thing to have a child young anymore. So the paradigm is shifting younger, which means the other end of it, us oldsters, are becoming odd for waiting.

hannikan · December 2010

Sounds more like you just still have culture shock not being used to seeing pregnant teens. There is definitely still a stigma about being a teen mom. I think there's much less of a stigma now about having children older than there used to be. ETA: For those in their early twenties, I think there's more criticism from those who are older than in our parent's generation. That's because people married younger then than now and were more likely to be financially stable at a younger age then than now. Today it takes longer in general to become financially stable than in our parent's generation, which is one reason people are waiting longer to have children.

Passanie · December 2010

Yeah, that and I'm just a crotchety old fart who doesn't like kids. Wink

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