Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Sick of teenage daughter not helping!
I remember being a teenager and I remember doing it when ASKED nicely, and sighing, when asked not so nicely.
Theres another side to this story you're not sharing. Guarantee that.
LMAO really?
It is amazing how you know none of us have older children! Ill pass the same judgement on you as you have the others. Come back again after your teens are grown, like some of us here did!
Kaylakuma... you are right, it does sound VERY snarky. Probably because I was at the end of my rope with daughter when I wrote this. Probably should have done it when I wasn't in a foul mood.
I have asked nicely, gotten upset, done everything. My daughter is a slob and she don't care.
She has chores - and I might say, not many. She has to feed the dog, take out garbage on pick up days, and empty dishwasher. That is it.... and she gives me attitude every single time. Even when I simply ask her, "Please go back in the livingroom and put your dishes away." I get attitude.
What I did not say before is.... I also have a 22 year old daughter that no longer lives in the house. She also did not want to do anything and had attitude, I know teenagers do. But she also helped out at times without me asking.
Thank you so much for the update. And the advice, I will definately take your advice.
I am glad to hear you are feeling better. Good luck with your PT.
They told me I would be in a sling for 6 weeks, I can not imagine not moving my arm for that long.
Would you by chance mind if I sent you a PM asking a few questions? Please let me know...and again, good luck to you! : )
You sound like my mother and that is not a compliment. I was exactly like your daughter growing up. I would keep clothes all over the floor and I generally didn't give a sh!t because not *once* in my life did I hear a thank you or a "you did a good job." You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar. When she does something right, tell her thank you and that you appreciate it.. don't just harp on the things she hasn't done. I was also in the same ranks as your daughter academically (high honor role, 4.0 gpa, college courses in high school).
Now, I have my degree and a good job. I'm married and we have our own place. I keep a very clean house and make sure laundry, dishes, etc. are all taken care of and the house is presentable before we have anyone over.
It's not that she's necessarily lazy, she just doesn't have any reason to help you out if you just harp on all the stuff she's not doing. Positive reinforcement will work a lot better than negative reinforcement.
It is nice that you assume that I never thank her or give her positive reinforcement. From the way it sounds, you don't even have children and I have two. An adult and a teenager. Please do not try to tell me I don't thank my daughter. The last thing that happens in my house is negativity. I am probably more patient with her then most of her friend's parents.
My daughter will even tell people she is lazy. And the sad part is... she is proud of it. So she isn't just like every other teenager. And I have every right to be upset.
I don't have children but I was trying to give you a different perspective. Just because I don't have children doesn't mean I don't have a valid point. I have a degree in behavioral psychology, so I do know a thing or two.
Going from your responses here, you don't sound very appreciative of what she does do and you focus on the fact that she is "lazy" and doesn't do it to your standards. If you encourage her by reinforcing the positive things she is doing, she'll eventually do them more often. If she was generally completely lazy, I doubt she'd be doing homework and getting good grades, etc. She doesn't sound lazy, just that she has priorities and chores just aren't part of them.