Caribbean Nesties
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
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validate or chastise me
Today is Twan's birthday. We haven't spoken for days, and he's in Florida right now, presumably at Disney World (his marathon was yesterday). I'm not planning on calling or texting happy birthday to him. Am I being an assh0le?
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Re: validate or chastise me
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
OK, well I never saw any updates on your holiday few days with him. Maybe you made one and I never saw it, but I don't have enough information to go on from that.
But, based on how he had been prior to that, I am not sure I would call him. He was kind of an *** and wanking you around.
I need an update on where things stand before I decide. Did Christmas go badly?
From what was going on before, I say even if you are being an assh0le, it is well deserved.
He did not come over on Christmas Eve or Christmas. We talked after he came over that night and I said, I do not want to just jump back in, we should go slowly and he agreed. Then neither of us followed up on him coming over those days. I did go to his parents' house the day after Christmas but we barely talked then. I mostly talked to his family. Since then his mom and his brother have both pressured him to make some progress, and I've had a couple of other conversations where I was very blunt about how effed up this all was and how he destroyed my life and I need to know what's going on so I can put my life back together. I said, It's clear to me you want this to end but can't go through with it. He denied that but said he has a lot of conflicting thoughts in his head and he's very confused. He said he wanted to focus on his marathon and he'd deal with this when that was finished. I told him, if that's the case, when you say "deal with it" you better mean "end it" because there's no fixing this when you've clearly made your marriage a second priority to running a race. That was the second to last time we talked. The last, Wednesday of last week, he tried to call and chit chat about our day and I said, I'm not doing this. So we hung up, and that's where we are.
I don't have many expectations, but I was also doing a good job of taking the high road thus far. Now I just don't give a sh!t and have started boxing up my stuff. I don't know if I'm swinging too far into pissed off b!tch territory and if I should just grow up or what.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Do not call his stupid ass.
Thanks for the validation, which is what this post was for. I needed justification to not at least send a text message.
It's still hard, though, because I at least want some closure. I want to understand what happened. I just cannot fathom going through this and having confusing conflicting thoughts and NOT wanting to talk or sort them out. Wouldn't any normal person want to resolve the problem one way or another? Isn't having a plan preferable to chaos and uncertainty? I can't comprehend his reaction to all this.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
EAB, don't bore yourself by stocking him. I'm pretty sure he's just riding Space Mountain in a regressive catatonic state, imagining he's 12 again.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Well look at that. I'm so pissed I want to somehow get to Orlando and stop him from finishing that fukking race.
Do not text that selfish ass.
The nerve!
House | Blog
I think he likes the possibility of continuing the relationship. I think for him the idea of closure--ending it--is scarier than just continuing this way, especially as long as he feels the decision is his. I think that's why your email saying let's figure out how to divide stuff triggered his calling before Christmas. Suddenly, you are taking away his open possibility. I've been in that relationship and it sucks. Only after I was done did he want to fix it. By that point I was so angry that he could so cavalierly jerk me around and saw him as so weak willed and wishy washy, that there was no future there.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
Focus on the marathon. FOCUS ON THE MARATHON?!? While he left your marriage in shambles? My blood. It boils.
So no, I think you owe him absolutely no acknowledgement.
Oh, you are so validated. Do not call or text him. He decided to drop a bomb on the relationship, and now wants to postpone the discussion until it's more convenient for him? Sorry, but it doesn't work that way.
Stick a fork in him. He's done.
I've got lots of forks. I'll help.
By deal with it after the race, I hope he meant "get a mental evaluation to assess why I am a complete and total jackwipe".
Don't text his ass. In fact, if you do, I'm taking away your Buffy privileges for a week.
In some ways, it's the best thing. In other ways, I'm still going to be "divorced." I'll still lose out on some things. This may mean I lose out on having a baby, who knows. I know I can adopt, but I'd gotten used to the idea of the whole pregnancy process and all. If I get married again, it won't be "my wedding," it'll be my "second wedding." I know that seems silly, but it's sort of symbolic that there are all these good memories I have to essentially flush down the toilet and people I'm going to have cut out of my life. I don't think I can help myself from wanting to know WHY, and I don't think I can completely heal until that happens.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
This is a great visual.
I know it feels this way now, and you have to mourn the end of this marriage. You're going to go through a lot of emotions and it sure doesn't sound like Twan is going to give you what you want right now in terms of an answer. I don't think he can articulate it.
When you start to find happiness again (first on your own, then hopefully with someone new-when you are ready), you won't be dwelling on how painful it was to let go of those things.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I think this is very wise. While not a divorce, I ended an engagement a few months before Zane and I got together. At the time, there was so much pain and so much mourning that I had to do.
As I have found happiness in myself and this relationship, I can now look back on the good times of that relationship with fondness and no pain. I don't think even a divorce means you have to permanently throw away the good memories. You just have to lock them away while you heal and break them back out when they're not hurtful anymore.
I think this is very wise. While not a divorce, I ended an engagement a few months before Zane and I got together. At the time, there was so much pain and so much mourning that I had to do.
As I have found happiness in myself and this relationship, I can now look back on the good times of that relationship with fondness and no pain. I don't think even a divorce means you have to permanently throw away the good memories. You just have to lock them away while you heal and break them back out when they're not hurtful anymore.
Just when you think he couldn't be more of a fuckhole...
UGH. I am so MAD for you.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse