August 2006 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
JulieF re: your DD
I saw your post. If you're going to call me a b1tch and a coward, at least leave it up for everyone to see.
Re: JulieF re: your DD
There's also this gem from their other board.
I am the 99%.
The truth hurts.
In the post, which I deleted because I want no further part of this board, I said that at least Soprano is now just a biitch, and not a coward because of her demonstrable snarky and dumb comments to Caden. I did not appreciate her bringing Caden's career into it, nor her damnable lie a while earlier about me "befriending" students.
Sop, check your reading comprehension. I said you were NOT a coward. I also called you on the martyr attack (which you maliciously directed at 2V) and said that we were sick of your divisive, rotten, and trashy snark. You can dish, but you can't take. You're the one who brings hurtful attacks like you did with Caden when your substantive argument lacks merit, so to hear you whine about my "personal and hateful" attacks about you made me laugh.
I'm just glad you can post under your regular name now. The baby AE must have gotten as old as your rancid snark.
To everyone else, I simply made the comment that you might want to get on a forum like Hannity every once in a while. You all talk a good game about "debate," and how the conservatives ought to man up and take the hits all the time. How brave will you all be when you're not outnumbered 7-to-1, when you don't have your rah-rah cheering section. I called you hypocrites, which is often true of some of you.
By the way, is the (maybe true, maybe not) B on the girl's face what your guy meant by get "feisty" and "in people's faces?"
Hello and goodbye.
Bye, girls. It was fun while it lasted. While I am here, I wish that you would have showed half the incredulity toward "kill him," rape kits, and book banning as you did for the McCain worker with the B.
All I know is that if I ever said that the prime idiots are the conservative regulars I'd be hung out to dry by conservatives and liberals alike.
ETA:
This is at least Julie's 5th GBCA06 or E08.
Ok, I haven't been super interested in the bash Julie stuff (sure, she's gotten out of line, I've called her on it, and we did discuss it privately and made some peace I think), but huh? ?
Are we adults? ?Or are we 13?
Caden's a big girl and did a fine job discussing with soprano. ??
Sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong -
Soprano and Julie have both been out of line in the past and they are well known not to get along.
I would hope everyone could just fight their own fights and that everyone else could respect that.
Golden Rule!!!
Really - do we need anyone to really take their ball and go home?
Sticking my nose back out -
I have to ditto Bunny.
I am so lost as to the ongoing school yard drama that seems to occur between several parties on this board. I don't know who is at fault. I don't know who is to blame. I'm not sure that I care.
All I do know is that we are a board that discusses very delicate topics very frequently. We are all also very intelligent, well spoken, and passionate. I believe for the most part we are all very good representatives of our respective positions, ideologies, and parties.
From what I have gathered, where we seem to devolve is when anyone (from either side) takes a discussion and turns it into something personal. For example, I have seen quite a few "all liberals are..." or "all conservatives do..." and then the statement is qualified with "but I don't mean anyone on this board, personally." Well if I am a member of the particular political persuasion under assault, it *feels* personal. It does. This then creates a spiraling out of control conversation where someone's profession is unfairly called out or someone's past (and forgiven) mistakes are thrown in her face like a weapon. It's all very silly. And deep down, as grown women, we all know this.
Julie deleted it b/c she thought the better of what she said. I wish soprano could have just let it go so it didn't come down to this showdown. I have a feeling it will be the last between them.?
I totally agree that the general assaults generate a lot of our problems, but that's not the case between soprano and me.?
Thanks Sibil
Like I said earlier, I'm not looking for validation. I'm just calling it like I see it. When I'm repeatedly bashed by Julie for something not remotely related to anything I said or did to her -- and even on this board -- I'm gonna stand up to it, whether it's popular or not. My approach has not been the same as Julie's, although some people choose to see it that way.
I'm not perfect, but I'm weary of the double standard.
That's not true. You accused her of being unprofessional by befriending her students. It was a personal attack. ?
Um, ok. I don't even remember that, but since you are keeping score...
That was well over a year ago. The other things Julie repeatedly brings up were months ago.
Julie, you need to let it go. You don't need to protect all the conservatives by regularly going off on me on the board. We're all grown-ups here.
First, I didn't see any of Julie's posts to Mominatrix, hrparker, or SBP - were those on the other board? I certainly would remember an attack on SBP as I pretty much think she's fabulous in every way (hopefully that doesn't sound creepy). It's possible I'd miss an attack on trixie or parker as I often disagree with them, but I really don't think I saw those either. I never go on the other board, though, so please don't hold be accountable for not doing something I didn't have the opportunity to do. I rarely lurk on threads without posting, so if you don't see a response from me, you can pretty much assume I haven't read it.
Anyway, let's get to the post sorpano's referencing in her OP. Julie made this snarky mean post against soprano. I'm assuming it was in the hairplugs thread. So first off, it was in defense of Caden, so not totally unprovoked. But still, wrong. Okay. Was it up long enough for anyone to respond to it? I don't see it quoted by anyone there, so I'm assuming not. (Feel free to correct me). So, instead of any of us conservatives to have time to call her out and say, 'that was harsh, Julie', she essentially called herself out by DDing. Isn't that even better? Yes, it was wrong for her to post that stuff in the first place, but if you want people to be called out, wouldn't the best result be for the perpitrator to call herself out?
Now, of course, she totally went off in this post, which is also wrong, but she had dropped it (by DDing) and then was brought back in. So she basically said f'it, I'm taking the gloves off. Inappropriate? Yes. Wrong? Yes. Immature? Yes. Unprovoked? No.
I would like to recognize majorwife, zoe, and irish for remarking about soprano's remarks toward caden. I do think soprano's remarks were out of line, and I think the frustration comes from her unwillingness to acknowledge such.
Meanwhile... I'd like two french braids with pink ribbon, please.
ETA: ...and a zig-zag part.
That's fair. I didn't realize that was her typical M.O. I still accept it, but I get why you don't.
But marquis, this is the thing -- I *have* apologized on multiple occasions. For some reason, that hasn't been good enough.
Just because I don't apologize to your specifications doesn't mean the apology isn't sincere. And it's not fair to then overreact to everything subsequent that I say, simply because you're mad that I didn't do what you wanted me to.
Again -- didn't we just do this a few months ago? -- it's all about perspective. You're expecting me to suck, and so it's easy for you to interpret me that way, even if I haven't crossed a line. And that goes both ways. That's why it takes an active effort to not misinterpret people when there have been previous issues. But it's important to recognize here that occasional snarkiness or rude comments is not what we're talking about here.
We have numerous people saying that Julie and I are not comparable situations. And given that you have chosen not to participate in E08 and haven't seen her posts, you guys aren't in a situation to argue otherwise. You can only speak to what you've seen on this board -- and what's gone down on the other board was much, much worse. It's simply not at all equitable, and if you continue to refuse to recognize that out of defense for your friend, there's nothing we can do here.
We did go through this a month ago, and I thought it was over. But yesterday you totally stepped over the line with Caden, yet again, and despite other posters on both sides of the aisle contradicting you, you ploughed forward. I went back to the post to double check to see if there was an apology I had missed.
This was your last post in that thread. And I don't think this is an apology or an acknowledgement of overreaction by anyone's standards:
It was done. It was dead. But this stuff is new, which shows me that you haven't changed. And that's what I was talking about.
Thanks for the correction -- you are right that I didn't apologize in that thread. I totally thought I did, because I actually had typed one up. But I forgot that when I went to post it, caden has posted this to me:
And I got ticked off and decided not to apologize.
I did, however, previously in the thread explain that my comment wasn't an intentional knock on caden. Is the issue that I didn't explicitly say, "caden, i'm sorry, that some people thought it was a knock on you when it was actually a knock on the MPC campaign."? B/c y'all are just asking too much.
To be fair, though, you (soprano) have taken many things I have said since our fallout a month or so ago to be trying to rehash things with you. VTJaime even pointed it out to you in this thread. It does work both ways.
The use of the "b" word is never tolerated and Julie was called out for it, just as you have been for using it against pgh (it was a while ago and I don't know if you apologized or not so I am not bringing it up to ask for that--just pointing to it needing to be called out, period).
Tef, that's not true. I've been actively trying not to read things into your posts. Just like I've done with 2Vermont. I'm sorry you've seen it that way, but i don't even think we've had much interaction in the last few weeks because of that.
The back story on this is that a year ago, I said, "Stop being such a ***" to PGH. I meant it in a "ok, listen, you're being kind of uncool" kind of way, because that's how my friends and I use it, NOT in an "I think you, PGH, are a raging ***" kind of way -- because I certainly didn't think that. She was very offended, and said that she and her friends don't use it that way. I apologized and have never used that term on the board since.
Julie, on the other hand, has directly called me a b1tch, at least three times in the last month.
That's not a fair comparison.
I wasn't going to post anymore but I can't help it.
Soprano, when did you EVER apologize to me? I have extended an olive branch to you (in a page) and you ignored it. I did the same to hrparker and she ignored it. I'm sensing a pattern.
You accused me of "making light of racism" and you never apologized. In that comment you even asked for other board regulars to post and chew me out. You also made a very mean, unprovoked comment yesterday and never apologized. That was just this past week. I could go on. And suddenly you can't apologize b/c I responded snarkily to your snarky posts? What's that about? Forget about Julie. It doesn't matter anymore. Deal with what is here.
Well, then I am thankful for the explanation for I took your comment a few days ago of "don't even go there" to mean otherwise. I was seeing what vt was as well.
I did find one post of her explanation, but since the search function is craptastic, I can not find the longer one:
I am upset that you guys besieged me with the holy trinity of slander:
a) saying that I had an alter ego
b) saying that I would out the board (what about my friends? Why would I want to mess up the board of Caden, pgh, Elena, et al, even if a few get on my nerves?
c) saying that I posted on ML.
Caden, if you want to go through a list of grievances, we'll have to do it in another thread, another time. I'm about spent for the day, and I keep pushing off the presentation I desperately need to be working on, in hopes of finally resolving this stupid thing.
But I'll make three points:
1. I wasn't the only one who thought that the comments were making light of racism. Why do you only hold that against me? If you're upset about that, let's talk about why it came across that way. You can't just be mad at me weeks later because you didn't like how we interpreted your comments... that's not helpful for anyone. Part of this process is that we're supposed to be learning from each other, right? So if several people say, "hey, that's not funny to us, it feels like you're joking about racism" -- isn't that a good opportunity for you to learn why, and for us to learn more about each other? As I recall, the thread devolved into sarcasm, not anything constructive (although I don't hold you solely responsible for that)
2. As I said above, I had typed out an apology, and then I didn't post it b/c I was ticked off. When Marquis pointed out that I hadn't, I debated doing it now, but I thought you wouldn't see it as sincere. I do apologize for comparing you to Rick Davis, as I intended to the other day. I have definitely apologized to you for other things in the past. I don't feel like that's been returned in a sincere fashion, but I'm willing to entertain it if you do want to work this out.
3. I have no idea why hrparker didn't respond. I didn't because I didn't see your page. For a while, I wasn't reading the boards at all. If I was on that day, I didn't see it. If you have a sincere apology and want to work this out, I'm be happy to try, but I want to do it by PM or off the board completely.Ok, good. I'm glad we have that cleared up, at least, b/c I have been making an effort
Re: julie's explanation -- that's supposedly why she's angry and upset, not why she's been so nasty to so many people I thought she had come on and said "I'm having <insert personal crisis>". It doesn't let you off the hook, but it's easier to understand . I am the most understanding of that because I've dealt with chronic pain for the better part of the past two years. I know how insidious stuff like that, or emotional stuff, can be. I'd be willing to overlook it -- IF there were actually something awful going on and IF she were actually sorry and making an effort to change her behavior.
DD'ing, then repeating all of that in another post, doesn't show a change in behavior. If she were really sorry and over it, as people are claiming, she would have just said "Hey, soprano, you're right -- i called you a b1tch, and I deleted it because it wasn't nice. I'm sorry."
She has never even apologized to me. It's not easy, and I'm certainly not claiming that I have always taken the high road, but it is there for the taking. And I haven't seen Julie take it in a good long while.
I'm going with mominatrix here.
It's not just you. I'd like an apology from mrsvtjaime too, but I know I'll never get it. I don't have ongoing problems with her like I do with you though. Both of you jumped down my throats b/c you misunderstood me. You didn't ask me to explain myself, you just fired away with both guns blazing and then had the nerve to call in reinforcements! I'm not going to apologize when you chew me out. I didn't do anything wrong.
2. As I said above, I had typed out an apology, and then I didn't post it b/c I was ticked off. When Marquis pointed out that I hadn't, I debated doing it now, but I thought you wouldn't see it as sincere. I do apologize for comparing you to Rick Davis, as I intended to the other day. I have definitely apologized to you for other things in the past. I don't feel like that's been returned in a sincere fashion, but I'm willing to entertain it if you do want to work this out.
I'm not going to judge your sincerity. If you apologize then you apologize. I'm not interested in a prolonged battle between the two of us. Only an acknowledgment that you crossed the line and hopefully in the future you won't do it again. I want peace love and harmony as much as the rest of the board. I beg to differ that you apologized to me for other things in the past. I don't recall that ever taking place. I'm happy you apologized for a comment you didn't mean. Now how about the stuff you did mean? I would love to work it out with you.
3. I have no idea why hrparker didn't respond. I didn't because I didn't see your page. For a while, I wasn't reading the boards at all. If I was on that day, I didn't see it. If you have a sincere apology and want to work this out, I'm be happy to try, but I want to do it by PM or off the board completely.
Feel free to PM me anytime.
That's quite a jowl you've got, SBP, but I digress
Caden -- do you have no other friends? Are you some kind of masochist?
Is your plan to continue posting until someone responds? Well, I responded. So feel free to move on now.
Sh!t I guess I am a masochist.