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Randoms
Hi!
I went for my 6 week check up today. The doctor lifted the sheet up to get started and took one glance at my vagina, stopped, looked at me and said, "Kegals, lady! Kegals!" I can't even tell you how sexy that made me feel. That a one second glance at my lady bits stopped her in her tracks. All I can picture is a turkey carcass needing to be stuffed. Anyway, she mentioned that if I can't get my huge, flapping vagina back on track that I may need to consider surgery to hoist the muscle back in place. Sweet.
Lauren is smiling now. I don't think it has anything to do with my vagina. She's just a happy baby. A happy, smug baby with an intact vagina. Wear it well, daughter...
Alex does not have a vagina. But he's smiling too.
I ordered the conversion kit for Alex's crib to turn it into a big boy bed and it's going to take 4-6 weeks to get here. Suuuuuuure wish I knew it was going to take that long ahead of time so I could have ordered it MONTHS AGO. It's going to be a looooong 4-6weeks of him not napping and climbing out constantly. Also, the crib does not have a huge, flapping vagina.
I think that's all I've got at the moment.
Re: Randoms
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I do them every time I read or hear the word. I did them while reading your post.
Random:
I spelled kegels wrong.
(and all the vaginas went doo-doo-dooo-do-do-dooo)
That is SO WEIRD! i was just thinking about your vagina this morning. Don't go motorcycle riding commando!
Me too! Let's set this up.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
No you are not. LoL.
My randoms:
Friend coming into town tonight and I'm excited to see but I don't want anyone at my house. Too bad I offered to let her stay the weekend in our guest room. I'm grumpy as hell and just want to sleep and not entertain.
H wants me to go out tomorrow night with his friend for his wifes 30th bday. I don't want to go because I don't want to be around drunk people. H has no idea why this would be 0 fun for me. I feel old
I have brown sugar cinn pop tarts and an oreo capp and I am loving it right now.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Me either. I feel like all I am doing is strengthening my butthole.
And really, who needs a strong butthole. In reality it just needs to be strong enough to clip your poo in half.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
I love you for contacting me this far out!
No problem on time for you, mama.
I just finished 2 overnight orders because they contacted me a week before they needed to mail. It's lucky I have a powerful lust for paper.
ETA: I also have a powerful lust for Angie. Hilarious!!
It's like we're the same person sometimes.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
They don't call you AngiePoo for nothing.
Tell me if you think this is weird:
I have a coworker who likes to come sit in my cube and talk to me (the one who laughed at my outfit one day). She's found my weakness in that I can't stand to have someone just stare at me in silence, so I end up chatting with her just to make the awkwardness go away. So the other day, I mentioned that we're adopting my IL's cat to her. The next day, I was walking down the hall and a different coworker said to me, "I hear you're getting a cat!" It weirded me out -- it's hardly a newsworthy event so why is she telling other people my stories?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Oh god no. She would not be into that, either. Plus she's a little big for a purse dog. She was REALLY good in the car, so that's encouraging, but she's not coming everywhere. Especially not before she learns how not to lose her shiit around other dogs.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Okay, good. I didn't think you were the type to carry your dog, but you never know. Some people act like smaller dogs have no legs sometimes.
Be sure to get her a doggie seatbelt! I'm ashamed to say I almost never use Maggie's because we never drive more than a couple miles with her in the car, and I need to get better about that.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Wait, they make seatbelts for dogs? Is is like a car seat they sit in and get belted in, or does it attach to your current seatbelt?
"Once I got a bath bomb that, once exploded, filled the tub with confetti. Little sharp metallic pieces of confetti. The product description said nothing about confetti. Oh look, there's a tiny, sharp metallic blue star stabbing me in the labia. HOW RELAXING. " - NoisyPenguin
TMI, sorry:
I think I might get rid of my IUD. I really hate it. My periods used to be pretty pain-free and 5 days at most. Now between the cramps and the ridiculous amounts of bleeding, I'm out of commission for like 2, 2/12 weeks a month. So yes, the IUD is preventing pregnancy just fine. I've had it for like 6 months, but I feel like that's enough time for my body to get used to it, yes? I knew there was a chance of increased bleeding with the Paragard, but this is ridiculous.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
There are a variety of models, but we have this one so she can look out either window:
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
That is such a smart idea, considering I always worry a little bit when I see dogs hanging out of windows. And I like how with that model the pups can go between the two windows.
"Once I got a bath bomb that, once exploded, filled the tub with confetti. Little sharp metallic pieces of confetti. The product description said nothing about confetti. Oh look, there's a tiny, sharp metallic blue star stabbing me in the labia. HOW RELAXING. " - NoisyPenguin
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
If it helps, I'm 9 or 10 months in and am definitely seeing an improvement. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Here she is! Her name is Munchie and she came from the MSPCA. Here we are in the car about to go home:
Playing with her rope toy
Playing with her stuffed flea:
Snuggling, which is what she does best:
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton