August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Flame Free Confessions

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Re: Flame Free Confessions

  • imagefuturemrsofficer:

    I confess that I feel like a horrible mother because there are days when it feels like I was never pregnant and this whole thing never happened. There are days when my life feels almost normal, and then I feel like I'm suppose to be sad. It's like people expect me to still be a huge mess and I'm not. Being honest with myself there were some days where I wasn't sure how I was going to ever survive this, but now I have a hard time picturing just how different my life would be. It just makes me feel like maybe I didn't love them enough.

    Oh Mo, you are not a horrible mother.  You don't have to be sad to remember your babies.  I think it's good that life can feel normal. 

    image
    We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagekaesha:

    I'm also frustrated at my weight gain, but clearly not frustrated enough otherwise I wouldn't be stuffing my face full of chocolate as I am right now.

    This exactly, with the exception that it's licorice not chocolate.  And on top of it, our WW at work start date got postponed to next week, which I know shouldn't be a postponement of motivation, but it is. 

    My other confession is that I am super stressed about finances right now.  B and I both have good jobs and are very fortunate, but with the upcoming house repairs and vacation, I'm not feeling the most confident.  I also feel guilty for insisting that we not cancel the vacation, but I'm really looking forward to it, and it could be our last big vacation before TTC.

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  • And MO, you aren't a bad mother.  It's important to be able to remember without reliving the experience, and how you feel is how you feel regardless of what other people expect.
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  • imageraynes:
    imagefuturemrsofficer:

    I confess that I feel like a horrible mother because there are days when it feels like I was never pregnant and this whole thing never happened. There are days when my life feels almost normal, and then I feel like I'm suppose to be sad. It's like people expect me to still be a huge mess and I'm not. Being honest with myself there were some days where I wasn't sure how I was going to ever survive this, but now I have a hard time picturing just how different my life would be. It just makes me feel like maybe I didn't love them enough.

    Oh Mo, you are not a horrible mother.  You don't have to be sad to remember your babies.  I think it's good that life can feel normal. 

    This exactly.  And what Neptune said, too.

    My Life in D.C.
    The Daily Nugget

    mom and me
    Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
    Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
    Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
    Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
    DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
    Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
    10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I had a terrible day at school.  One of my kids was being awful.  I ended up giving him a detention right at the end of the day.  Then I came home and I am spotting--which means on to cycle 8 TTC.  I am feeling b*tchy and a little bitter.  DH surprised me coming home with chocolate from my favorite chocolate shop (which is 2 hours away...but he had a meeting there today).  I am currently eating a chocolate covered pretzel.  I am having chinese and beer for dinner, and then taking more candy and going to a movie.  I am thinking my four mile run isn't going to make up for the damage I plan to do.

    imageimage
    image
    BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
    BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I want to apologize to all those of you starting out the TTC journey or who have suffered a loss. This might not be what you want to read.

    I've been completely miserable since about the 4 week mark in this pregnancy. I just keep thinking that if something happens, I will not be able to do this again, nor will I want a 2nd child if all goes well. I just can't imgaine wanting to put my body back through this. I think it all clicked when I had to suffer through a migraine for 3 days, because I can only take Tylenol (as far as I know). My OB was less than helpful when I called for suggestions.

    I sincerely hope that  you all get your sticky babies, and soon, but I also hope that it is much easier for you in the first few months. I for sure don't feel the joy and excitement that everyone tells you about, because I can't get beyond the constant feeling of vomit and complete lack of motivation to even get out of bed. I just keep hoping that it all gets better from here and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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  • Your confession is no less valid than anyone else's. Smile

    Mo - you're negotiating a difficult place. But living your life as it is right now (stop thinking about normal) is all you CAN do. That doesn't make you a bad mother/human/wife/teacher/whatever you want identify as.

  • imagekaesha:

    Your confession is no less valid than anyone else's. Smile

    Mo - you're negotiating a difficult place. But living your life as it is right now (stop thinking about normal) is all you CAN do. That doesn't make you a bad mother/human/wife/teacher/whatever you want identify as.

    Well said and MO big hugs. Snoopy I was right there with you at that time. Hopefully you will start to feel better once you get to 2nd trimester.
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  • I have a serious inferiority complex from having E's efforts/career be the reason we keep relocating.  I know I should be thankful that I've had these opportunities and I am, but it's hard to put it in perspective when I'm having trouble finding a job and getting bored with my days. I should think it's great I get time to do things I want, like practice my photography, blog, play the guitar, read... but I could be doing those things on any continent.  I want to make my time here worth it, and be able to report to people back home that I'm here for a reason too.

    Now jumping domestically.

    image

    Well that was a crazy couple of years.

    imageimageimage

  • My confession is I feel like a failure career-wise. I took a break from school two years ago so we could get our finances in check as we couldn't afford for both of us to be in school and the situation just hasn't been right to go back. I know I'm only 23 and I have plenty of time ahead to finish up my degree, but all my friends have graduated and are in actual salaried jobs right now in fields that they enjoy and I'm working retail with me and DH barely scraping together enough to consider buying a home. My hubby and I have been talking about wanting to start a family in the near future because we want kids and reproductive health problems run rampant in my family so my doc has told me it would be wise to get started soon anyway, but we're not financially ready and it is mainly on my part :(
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • imageLeo713:

    I have a serious inferiority complex from having E's efforts/career be the reason we keep relocating.  I know I should be thankful that I've had these opportunities and I am, but it's hard to put it in perspective when I'm having trouble finding a job and getting bored with my days. I should think it's great I get time to do things I want, like practice my photography, blog, play the guitar, read... but I could be doing those things on any continent.  I want to make my time here worth it, and be able to report to people back home that I'm here for a reason too.

    I can completely relate to this. DH's company is already talking about "the next move" and we've been here 15 months. At his last business meeting that I attended I was asked "why" I work. I work because I enjoy human interaction and didn't pay for a BA and MBA out of pocket because I wanted to make my husbands breakfast every morning. Yes, I realize mobility gets you places in the company, but I use to work for this company before it was bought and gigs *if* you wanted to move were 3-5 years, not every dam 15-18 months. I'm not in the house flipping business. I'd also like to have a career myself. Apparently not all CEO's of the world have realized not all wives want to be stay at home wives/moms.

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