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I'm done
So, remember my post this week where I said that things were good with B and I on the surface and that he had stopped talking to this girl on December 30th?
Turns out I was wrong. Last Saturday I missed a call from the girl's husband. I didn't call back, because I don't want to get involved in their issues, and since B and this girl hadn't been talking, I didn't see any reason to call him back. I asked B if he knew of any reason why the husband would be calling me, and he said no.
Well, he called me again today. Turns out he was calling me last weekend because he followed his wife one night and confronted her and B while they were talking in her car. Want to guess what I was doing that night? I was at counseling, by myself, trying to get help with our issues. Can you believe that??? And can you believe he didn't tell me about this when I asked why her husband had called?
Also, B has been calling her every day from work. EVERY DAY. All the while being super affectionate and going on and on about how much he loves me. I guess this explains why he has avoided talking to me about things.
So, I confronted him, and of course he goes all catatonic on me again and tries to act like it's not a big deal that he has been talking to her. I seriously wish that I could have videotaped it because I can't even describe the ridiculousness of it.
I asked him if he was willing to cut off all communication with her, and he did not respond. I asked him why he was putting this girl before our marriage and he said, "I'm not doing that." I had to talk to him like a child and say, "In order to fix our marriage you need to stop talking to her, right? You said you aren't willing to stop talking to her." He said, "I didn't say that." THEN I had to point out that not responding to the question is not acceptable. By not saying yes, you are saying no. So by continuing to talk to her, you are putting your "friendship" with her over your marriage. Do you understand that now?
UGH. I swear he's not a stupid guy, but he sure does act like it. So I told him that we needed to start talking about ending things and what we are going to do with the house. He said he didn't want to do that, and I told him that he has left us no choice. Now he's catatonic again.
So yeah, I'll be joining the club soon. I'm ready for some waffles.
Re: I'm done
Oh, Vicki, I'm so sorry to hear that. When I saw your subject line I was afraid to open the post. I was hoping he'd come to his senses.
On a completedly unrelated note, have you ever done "You're a diickhead" cookies? I kinda know of someone who might be in need of some.
Oh Vicki. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. And, in fact, if you need help packing or something, say the word. I'm serious.
What a string of words I probably can't type here without getting banned.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
I was hoping you were posting about the completion of a marathon cookie baking day.
From what I can tell by lurking here I think you are such a strong and amazingly talented woman. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
I want to say SO many swear words right now. I can not believe the nerve of continuing to lie to you, lie again when directly asked, and then when he's busted just go silent and act like YOU'RE the one with the problem. He should be on his fvcking knees begging you for one more chance. MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE.
You have so many amazing things going on for you right now, Vicki. You are incredibly talented, you are taking charge of your health (and I'm sure you are looking amazing). You deserve so much better than this bullsh*t.
I think you should pack his sh*t tonight and kick his asss out immediately. He needs to know that this is not going to be tolerated one second longer.
That dumb bastard. You have to have some serious brain damage to foff things up with someone like you. Seriously. There is something wrong with his brain (assuming he has one at all at this point).
I'm sorry you have to go through this. There is no phrase strong enough to express what a giant suckfest this is, so I'll just say "what a pisser". If there's anything I can do, you let me know. And you've got a place to stay if you feel like switching coasts.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I'm so sorry Vicki. You deserve so much better than this. He's an idiot and a jerk and I hope his stretchy balls rip. Can I punch him? I really want to punch him.
I don't have a spare room or anything, but if you want to come sleep on Will's top bunk and steal my conditioner like I stole yours, you're totally welcome. You can do a whole west coast tour.
I am so sorry Vicki. Big hugs to you.
Do you think that they have been sexual at all? Or do you think it was still at the talking/flirting phase?
I am glad the husband called you because at least now you know what is going on and what he is capable of. Do not believe a single word he says. Watch his actions.
I wish you all the best with whatever it is you decide to do.
Man, I'm so sorry Vicki
Like everyone else has said, you deserve much better than this.
I think I would throw all of his crap out on the front lawn. And change the locks. Maybe some cookies spiked with laxatives? But you probably have more maturity and self control than all that.
I agree, you shoud make Moo's "you're a diickhead" cookies for him and spike them with laxatives. Or arsenic. What a diicksmoke. Your future is too bright to be slumming with the likes of him.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
My god, what an ass. And how dumb do you have to be to just go catatonic? What is that going to solve? Does he think you're just going to just pat on the head and say, "Oh, I'm sorry I was such a meanie about you fixating on another woman to the detriment of our marriage. You go right ahead"? <insert chain of expletives>
I'm sorry you're going through this Vicki. From everything I've seen of you, your brilliance and creativity shines through every time. You deserve so much better.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
I'm so sorry Vicki. I don't know that there's much to add that hasn't been said, but I love you and I think you're fantastic and you don't deserve to be going through this. And if you do end up leaving and going through a breakup, don't forget for one second how amazing you are. And I have a spare room that's being redecorated this weekend. Should I go for a Maple Syrup theme in honor of your impending arrival?
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
so lame!
WTF? Vickie'shusband you are NOT being confronted by a bear, playing dead will do you no good.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, Vicky.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Thanks so much for the support everyone. This is going to be one of the hardest things that I have ever done, so the encouragement is really helpful. I think that he didn't believe that I was fed up to the point of leaving until yesterday, when I told him we needed to start talking about how to end things. He spent all morning today crying and apologizing.
J&J - He still says there was nothing physical, and I think I believe him, but I also don't really believe anything he's saying right now. I think it was still at the talking/flirting phase, but I also think that he has rekindled pretty deep feelings for this girl.
I'm very thankful that I am happy about where I am in life right now. If this had happened a year ago when I had zero self confidence, I don't know if I would have been able to make the same decisions.
I think that a cross country trek stopping to see all of you is a pretty awesome idea.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
I'm mad all over again. What a penisface. I want to remove all of his body hair with tweezers.
You deserve someone who will appreciate every awesome thing about you. He deserves to spend the rest of his life having meaningless heartfelt conversations in cars in dark places until it blows up in his face.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
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