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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Is wedding an adult event??? (long)
Unless the wedding is specifically child-friendly, which it does not sound like this one is, I wouldn't take the little ones. Even when the wedding or other event is child-friendly, I don't always take my kids with me.
It's not fun to spend the whole time chasing after and entertaining toddlers/babies when you're wearing a dress and high heels and a nice hairdo.
I've been reading all of these posts, and I'm sorry you're in a tough situation. I don't have kids so I can't relate.. but, do not take the kids and expect DH to be the one running around after them. You know it's going to fall back on you. So either they go or you go, but not both. Your DH can see what it's really like chasing after 2 toddlers. It's one thing if they are 8 and 10, but 1 and 4 is way too young.
Or you could just tell DH that you were really looking forward to sex in a hotel room and you couldn't do that with kids... I bet he'd come over to your side pretty quickly.
Good luck!
I would not have them attend under any circumstances - either with you there or with your H "watching" them while you stay home.
Maybe they are old enough for you to watch two at once, but that won't always be the case. I was at a party recently (DH's side). While dh socialized, I didn't mind watching the kids - but I really couldn't keep track of both. They are different kids with different interests. One was on the dance floor (where I watched her), the other I watched out of the corner of my eye, thinking he was having fun, but when I went to him later he said "those boys (older cousins that DS was playing with) didn't like me very much." I have no idea what happened - they were not roughhousing, but maybe they got sick of "playing" with a 5 year old (they were around 10 or 11). So, DS had a bad time, DD only had fun b/c I was "playing" with her while a dj played music. If I had socialized or had concentrated on DS, SHE would have been the one that was bored or unhappy. They would have more fun with a sitter.
I would even add that the family members tried to keep the party "kid friendly," (balloons, chocolate favors) but most of the kids were teenagers, it's not like the old days when DH was a kid and everyone was the same age.
And yes, when we brought the kids in, everyone said "oh, it's SOOOOO great to see the kids!" that lasted a good two minutes, then they went about their business, eating, socializing, drinking, dancing. The five minutes of showing off were not worth it. We send Christmas cards - they can see the kids then.
I agree that a wedding is an adult event. My wedding was in Sept and the only children that were invited were my DH 3 nieces and 1 nephew they live pretty far away with no family around so it was fine. But the rest of his family thought it was ok to bring children, I specifically wrote only the names of invited guests on the invitations ! not ok in my books (still hold a slight grudge). I think your kids at this age would be bored to tears and you would not have any fun.
One friend that came to our wedding brought his MIL with him so she could watch the kiddo's while he and his wife enjoyed themselves. The hotel where we had our reception also had a babysitting service. Is something like this a possibility?
Good Luck!