Minneapolis/St. Paul Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Ever lose a friend to Mommyville?
No, she's back at work 4 days a week. It's a good idea to ask her when a good time is to call. I think sometimes I'm afraid to call because I don't know when her daughter goes to sleep or eats, etc and I don't want to be a nuisance.
Congrats on your 2nd! :-)
It does definitely depend on the kid. And in my experience, if your friend has a son, she probably has less time. All of my friends with boys have much more high energy children than my daughter. My daughter is very calm and low key and has always been able to entertain herself while I do other things. But I know that it's not true at all for all moms.
I have a good friend from college that I have only seen once or twice since Liv was born. I miss her like crazy, but she is kid-less and leads a completely different life than I do now
This post prompted me to e-mail her, and I am super excited and the prospect of seeing her. I can tell her all about my night in the ER with dd, while she tells me about her weekend in vegas
A Little Bird and a Monkey Butt
No doubt Kiz...some days I am stuck in h3ll...seriously between the high energy boy dogs, and my high energy kid I never stop...and all I feel like I do all day long is clean up crap! DS's crap, the dogs crap, everything. I'll be happy when DH gets home this weekend!
my read shelf:
i think everyone is different. some people want nothing more in life than to be parents and when that happens, they lose themselves in the experience.
i NEVER wanted kids. my son (who turns 12 today!) was the happiest "accident" i've ever had. maybe in that original lack of interest to have kids of my own and yet feeling of completion once he was born there is a natural tendency toward balance. i LOVE being a mom but i also love spending time sans bambino with my husband and friends.
i think life is INSANELY busy but people use that as an excuse. i work full time, commute an hour each way to work, am in school M,T& W nights plus have a kid in hockey 4 -5 days a week and we still find time to hang out with our friends either with the kids or without. it's about where your priorities lie and mine lie in a balanced life. a happy home to me INCLUDES MY PERSONAL HAPPINESS, not just that of my child.
who knows, maybe i'm a selfish b!tch. : )
You're not a selfish b!tch, because if you are then I am, as evidenced by the fact that I work essentially two full time jobs right now (due to the uptick in the real estate market).
I guess I just don't have my priorities in place. Some people like going out, some people like doing crafts, what ever to get their time. I go to the gym. If given the choice between calling a friend and going out and going to the gym I'd go to the gym...I guess if my friend wanted to go with then that would be awesome but I've never asked.
It's part of the reason why we'll only have one kid because I just don't feel like I can give that much of my time to two, and I am never not working so I just don't have time for two kids...if I don't have time for my friends then how would i have time for a second kid.
i actually think this is a very interesting thing to say (as in i agree!). because i would rather jump to my death than be a SAHM, i just don't see how i could have time enough to give to more than one kid.
that said, with my son being SO much older than potential future kids, maybe it would work out... but 2 under 3 (for example) and still working FT and what not, there is no way. i couldn't do it. i'm just not wired that way. but, everyone is different. i know there are superwomen in the world who balance it all, but at what cost? because there HAS to be a cost.
(and PS, i go to the gym over lunch! that way i have time for my friends too.
)
I had two under two (my oldest just turned two), and I really wouldn't say there was a cost. It's hard in the beginning, as your adjusting to life with two kids and your new baby's temperment, but it settles down with a little time, and you start to get into a new routine of life.
I work full time, and now that Amelia doesn't require as much attention, we're able to really get in some family time after work (though, limited). On the weekends, we run our errands, do our chores. Get together with family and friends here and there. My mom can start babysitting on the weekends again now that Amelia isn't so difficult, so we can get out more often (when we have the money of course). I e-mail friends during the week from work. I stay up to date with everybody I'm cost to on facebook.
I was initially worried about being able to give my attention and love to two kids, equally, but it's just natural. Outside of the holiday's, DH doesn't wory much OT, so he's able to pick the kids up after work now, so I can go home and work out and get some stuff done without the kid craziness.
Sure our lives are leaps and bounds different than they were 2-3 years ago, and we have of course changed in many ways, but we still make time for everything, and everyone, that is important...friends, family, work, social life.
I would definitely try to call her -- because for me emails were hard - that required putting down the baby and not being able to do anything else. Phones I could prop on my shoulder while feeding or doing dishes or laundry.