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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
QOTD - Tuesday 2/15
IHO the shits that blew up all over the nest yesterday...
How do you feel about kids (or adults) eating things in the grocery store prior to paying for it? Is it okay because it will keep the kid quiet? Does it matter what the item is? Any other exceptions?
Re: QOTD - Tuesday 2/15
I missed the blowup. I think it's tacky when adults do it. If it's a kid and it's something that isn't leaving a wake of mess (and assuming they're going to pay for it), it doesn't bother me.
Is that really a hot-button issue for people? (snark-free question)
I have entirely too much time on my hands that I keep up with this crap. Hang on and I'll post some links. I didn't know it was hot button either... until I realized I DO care one way or the other.
Obviously I don't have kids, so I'm sure my opinion has no merit. But, I have no problem with eating something that comes in a packaging so that you can still pay for it at the end. I've been known to do that with a 20 oz drink before, and just hand the cashier my half empty bottle to ring up. I also don't have a problem with bringing your own snacks from home to give the kid.
I do think it would be wrong to eat something like a banana or grapes and not pay for them.
I do have a problem with parents saying they have to give their kid something to shut them up. Shouldn't we be teaching them to behave without giving into their every demand? (This is where the parents will roll there eyes and say oh honey, you'll understand when you have kids).
And yes, that oh honey remark was in honor of HIMYM.
My Ovulation Chart
I agree with this although why not just eat before you go to the grocery store.
What happened yesterday?
OP:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/49208202.aspx
S/Os:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/49222760.aspx
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/49215018.aspx
I didn't see anything either, I wasn't lurking much.
I personally don't because when I grocery shop I'm on a mission. I'd hope that mothers would be prepared with snacks for their kids when they take them anywhere, but if a kid is hysterical then it makes sense to give them something and pay for it at the checkout. I don't know if grocery stores have policies about this though.
As usual, I think it's the jerks that take advantage of something that ruin it for the rest of us.
If it weren't for the people who take stuff with no intention of paying, leave sticky wrappers or half eaten food lying around, or the moms who come unprepared to the grocery store every time and use the produce section grapes as a way to placate their child, it wouldn't annoy anybody. Sometimes I start drinking a bottle of water before I pay for it, but that's about it. I would never hand a cashier a half eaten banana or anything like that, it's gross.
Overall it doesn't bother me, and I certainly don't think it's a big enough deal to justify that woman giving the mom a hard time about it, especially considering she didn't know her plans(in the link you posted). I do understand how it can be frustrating to cashiers, but so are a million other things that people do and in the grand scheme of things, I feel like it's not that bad. I definitely think it's more appropriate in the case of kids versus adults but I still don't necessarily judge an adult for doing it.
To be honest, DH went to the grocery store with me the other day at the last minute. I told him to go get some popcorn chicken if he was really that miserable. He didn't do it but I don't think it would have been that big of a deal. We would have paid for it. We've never done it before but I didn't really think twice about it.
Oh, and the Publix bakery is always giving kids cookies over the counter in a little wrapper to eat right away when I'm in there. They don't pay for them at the counter and I secretly wonder if their parents bother paying at all. It seems to be a store policy not to stress about it.
Great point Britt.
I didn't realize how much I cared about this until I read about it yesterday!
I am so against opening anything in the grocery store before it's been purchased. It would never even occur to me to do something like that.
In the OP's case, I'm horrified. I worked at a grocery store in HS and I'm allergic to bananas. If someone handed me a banana peel, I don't know what I would have done. Besides obviously been disgusted.
Another thought on the banana thing, cost is determined by weight. Sure, it's a small difference, but it would add up and throw inventory (or something?) off if everyone thought it was just fine and dandy to do that.
Another non-mom, so my opinion surely doesn't count, but I don't like the attitude in the S/Os. The ONLY OPTION in this case, is for you to take unpurchased food and give it to your kid because they demand it to placate them?
Publix gives free cookies to kids. At least they did when I was a kid.
I see your point but I would much rather a mom placate their child than have to listen to a kid have a temper tantrum while I shop.
Mom weighing in...ditto this entirely (except for the allergic to bananas part and working at a grocery store in HS).
I worked in a Publix bakery my 1st year in college and the cookies that the kids get at the bakery are free. They get one if they just come up and ask a bakery employee. I think they do it as a way to keep the kids occupies so the parents can shop.
I think with the OP, if she knows her son MUST have a banana when they go shopping, ALWAYS have bananas on hand. It's not a tough concept! It does irk me as I read more into the post. But again, it's all about being accountable, and feeling entitled. She thinks she can do whatever she wants, and now her child will grow up demanding things.
Sure, I could be reading into it a little, but it seems like that's how it begins...
While I definitely think your point is valid, the OP said that she would take another banana and have it rung up twice. She didn't hand the cashier the banana peel. It is possible that the bananas that she took were different sizes and therefore the weight would be off, so then there would be a small price difference but I guess that just doesn't bother me that much.
I don't think the "I have to placate" my kid justification is ok when it's an all the time thing but I just don't see the harm in it being done occasionally.
By essentially stealing though? What about removing the kid from the situation? Going to the car to calm down for a few minutes? Or coming back later? (All options suggested in the S/Os of the OP, not my own.)
Again, I'm not a mom and I hate to judge parenting decisions, but I'll go by how my mom parented and hopefully that will count for something.
If my sister or I got all buckwild, trantrummy, little jackasses in the grocery store - we would leave. Period. No questions asked and no rewards given for misbehaving in public.
I completely agree with the banana peel part, but that's not what she did. She mentioned in the post that she tells them that her child ate a banana and asks if they mind weighing one of the bananas twice. I get that this is probably annoying, but at least she isn't stealing.
I've done the bottle of water thing when I've been extremely thirsty maybe once or twice and I do pay for it. I admit that I think a parent should probably just carry food with them, but it doesn't outrage me either way as long as they 1) pay for it and 2) be conscious of not handing a gross, sticky, open container to a cashier.
I definitely agree that the entitlement thing is ridiculous. If she knows her kid always wants a banana, bring one. Then again, maybe she's out of bananas? It's grocery day after all. I know she said in this specific situation bananas weren't on her list but it sounded as though they normally are.
Thank you for explaining this. I always wondered.
ETA: I just asked DH his opinion on this and he made a really good point. While it may be annoying and/or gross for a variety of reasons, it's still not appropriate for some stranger to make snide remarks to her about it. That woman has NO idea about the circumstances. What if her kid has diabetes or something and needs to get some sugar into their system unexpectedly? I know this an extreme example and in most scenarios this isn't the case but I just don't think it was appropriate to call this woman out with no knowledge. Feel free to judge her all you want but keep your opinion to yourself.
Should people eat food they haven't paid for yet? Probably not.
Should a random stranger start making obnoxious comments to them without knowing the circumstances? Definitely not.
Agree. Even if random girl was going to say anything, obviously that passive aggressive mumbling wasn't the best way to go.
I don't believe it is stealing if she gets another banana weighed in it's place. I am also not saying this is how I will parent. I am saying as a shopper I would rather not hear another persons child have a tantrum.
That being said I also don't ever plan on bringing my children to the grocery store IF possible. My brother and I stayed home with my dad when my mom went grocery shopping. I am sure this is so my mom didn't have to interupt her trip because we decided we didn't want to behave.
I could have sworn somewhere in the mass of posts, OP said something about handing the peel to the cashier to dispose of. I might be totally wrong though.
Either way, still against it even if she throws away her own peel.
My Ovulation Chart
Instead of placating a bratty kid with a banana, how about using some real parenting skills? She's setting a really crappy precedence by automatically giving her kid a banana every.single.time he sees one to prevent him going apeshit. Cannot wait to see how that works out for her.
Besides samples, I think eating in the store is tacky. You just absolutely cannot wait? Emergencies like diabetes aside, that is.
LOL!! With the keys in it and the doors unlocked?