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Confessions, anyone?
I'll start, even if no one else has any. I feel like some of mine are pretty flameful, but I can take the heat if anyone cares to dish it out.
- I realized today that I slack off sometimes because Jeff works too hard and I don't want to wind up like him. We sort of had a fight this morning (the only one we ever have) about how much time he spends in lab, and the words came out before I even realized I was thinking them, and then I realized it's true.
- Sometimes I wish I was pregnant just so I had an excuse to eat crap without feeling guilty about it. I'm not talking about non-stop junk, because that's not healthy, but an extra serving of something at dinner or a brownie at Starbucks, hell yeah.
- If I could quit my job and be a SAHM, I would do it in a millisecond. Same for after I graduate. I don't care if it's a waste of my education.
- I don't believe my sister when she says she can't afford health insurance. I try not to judge people's spending habits, but personally I think that health insurance should be her top priority, and I would cut out luxuries so that I could have it if necessary. I looked up quotes for her area with her information and can't believe that THAT amount, while not cheap, is what she's unwilling to spend, especially after she's had two infections go untreated and send her to the ER.
Re: Confessions, anyone?
laura--i wish i was pregnant NIGHTLY after sucking in my gut all day. and also, i want to be a SAHM more than anything in the world.
my confession:
-i judge people. hard. for just about everything.
Blog
Oh, yeah, the new gut I've developed adds to the wish-I-was-pregnant thing. As in, "I wish I could say this was a baby."
I judge a lot of things. Often.
Flame away ladies:
- As much as I really need to find a job with steady income, I'm happier doing my own thing. I have a little photography business, pet sit etc. It's not steady income, but I'm actually happy about my current "job".
- I want to be pregnant so bad that it's consuming way too much of my time. DH is being logical thank god and realizing we cannot afford a baby right now.
- My brother & sil's parenting style makes me want to scream. It's coming to a point where I don't even want to be around them anymore.
I don't know! I can't take the day off because we have training later that afternoon. Plan was to take an early lunch and come back to work. I don't know what I'm going to tell my manager but I need to think of something pronto.
I confess that I am seconds away from buying a new Kate Spade bag because someone on F&B posted a link to the sample sale and the prices are SO good.
Edit: What makes this a confession is that I really shouldn't be buying anything right now, I even just wrote a blog about how I have a shopping problem and spent too much at Target this morning
Can I just ditto all four of these x 829374923874329482? I almost don't even care if the logical part of me says we cannot afford it - I'll cut down on everything we don't absolutely friggin' need (the cable, the fancy cell phone, the car payment, etc.) if it means I can be a SAHM. It sonuds irrational, but it's true.
I also think it's BS when J says we shouldn't TTC because we cannot afford a child right now. Honey, we could use the excuse forever. When are you ever financially ready, for anything? We'd make it work, we'd have to & we would. The end.
09.25.10
Whut? That's crazy. I would totally turn the radio down.
Hmm, there's lots of SAHM talk on TN today. (There's a big thread on MM about how little you'd have to make before you chose to SAH.) My confession is that I really, really don't want to SAH when I have kids, and I'm worried that says something about me.
I just know that without the structure of work, I would (1) be a dirty mess who doesn't even do the laundry, and (2) would lose some of my self-confidence.
I'm glad everyone else is dying for a baby. We do trivia on wednesday and there was a 7 week old baby which I held and I think I was baby drunk for a good 15 minutes.
We also can't "afford" a baby right now and like you said Stef we will never be able to. We are also taking advantage that we don't have a baby/family right now so when I do get pregnant alot of things will be cut out to afford said baby
It really is a personal preference, and I honestly do not think there is anything wrong with this. You have a career, and you don't want that to be thrown off track or lose your sense of capability to support yourself or stability to stay at home with your kids - I totally get that.
09.25.10
MushE - I would never consider being a SAHM. I simply don't have it in me. I think every woman has to find her own way on this.
Now I'd like to be a SAHPerson with expendable income and endless hours to volunteer for my worthy causes and to fundraise for Relay For Life.
I agree completely, but I know for us personally we really aren't, especially since we don't even have medical insurance for ourselves. But otherwise I feel there is absolutely truth in you are never financially prepared for a baby.
Ditto Stef - not everyone wants to stay at home, and there's nothing wrong with that. For a really long time, I honestly did not get the appeal and thought, "What the hell would I do all day?" So I totally see it. I think it's personal preference and that anyone who judges it either way can suck it.
We're also not financially ready, like for serious, but I wonder if we'll ever be ready enough. Sure, I get that right now it's not a great idea to have a baby in a one BR apartment when we only have one car, and a tiny one at that, but I feel like we'll still use the money excuse longer than we need to if we let it. Right now we're just making the average income in the US and I cannot wrap my head around how people who make less afford to have a baby. At all. Granted, there are some things we could cut back on, but even cutting out cell phones, cable, and extra spending would not give us money to live in a larger apartment and pay for diapers, let alone get a car that can accommodate a car seat.
Agree, most of the time. Some days I think I could stay at home even without the kids, if I had some sort of schedule worked out and activities and volunteering-type stuff to do in place of a job.
When I was home for a month taking care of Jeff after his surgery, it was like a full-time job, every day I was cleaning, doing laundry, loading/unloading the dishwasher, and running to one store or another to pick something up. Add in after-school activities like sports and whatnot and I can totally see how it would fill my day.
The only reason I would ever want to be pregnant is so I could eat whatever I wanted. Knowing my luck, I'd have GD.
Like MushE, I could never be a SAHM. Seriously, there was a post on another board about extended maternity leave and in my head I was like "I'll be working until my contractions are like 10 min apart and if I can, I'll be back at work after 2 weeks." This also contributes to the multitude of reasons why I don't think H & I will ever have kids.
I'm with Shauni on judging the he!! out of everyone.
Really flameful, I think I'm starting to hate my MOH because I feel like I've grown up and she's acting like she's still 17. She's living with her unemployed BF's family! In their house! In his childhood bedroom! Instead of saving every last penny, she's tripled her wardrobe since moving in. She complains constantly about how H & I have a house and she doesn't and how we could start having kids and she's so far away from that. Seriously, if that's her goal, she needs to either get a much better job and support herself or dump BF and marry a rich guy who will support her. I'm just so frustrated with her. I want to dump the friendship, but at the same time . . . I just can't. She's my best friend. UGH!
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
QOA - Both of Jeff's brothers (23 and 28) live at home. The younger is ok, he has a plan and wants to get out of there as soon as he finishes his teaching degree and saves money. The other...not so much. He always says he's SO JEALOUS of Jeff because he lives on his own and can afford a wedding and an engagement ring, meanwhile he makes almost as much money as the two of us combined and doesn't pay rent or any other kind of bills - he doesn't have savings and would be making a LOT more if he wasn't so irresponsible with his jobs.
All of his money goes to clothes, food, alcohol, and extras like skiing/snowboarding, concerts, amusement parks, etc. He doesn't have anything to show for his paychecks except an entire A&F store in his closet. I want to scream at him when he complains about money - and at his parents for allowing this to continue. He's actually turned into a pretty nice guy (we had some issues in the past) but he is so freaking immature and I can't imagine him ever growing up.
Okay, what did you say? I'm totally curious. Because that will be me at some point.
I've lurked on the GP board here, and the TTGP board on TB, and the "rules" are just so different. And, of course, unwritten.
This, exactly. I think the key to the happy medium between working and being a SAHM like I want is to fnd a good part time job once the kid is a bit older.
QOA, that reminds me of some of my coworkers. They get pissy that I'm salaried and don't punch a clock, or at how much I make. They just don't get it that I have worked very had for a long time to finish my education and now to get my job done properly. They can leave everything at the door on Friday night, and I can't. So if I want to leave early one day because I've got my shiit under control? Sure, I'm going to do that.
ETA: Realized I didn't finish linking my thought...they'll complain about $$ all.the.time, but don't want to change their spending habits. Like, go out to lunch every day, even if it's McDonald's? That adds up. I bring my lunch, either leftovers or Lean Cuisine. Then they'll comment about how they wish they had the $$ to buy the clothing or accessories that I do.
I work with someone who eats out for dinner almost every single day, at sit-down restaurants too (like, at least $20 per person, usually more) and complains about not having any money. I don't care how he spends his money, but I'm tired of hearing about how broke he is.
The thing on the Bump...well. I don't know how to say it without it coming off poorly, because obviously I missed the mark the first time. The thread was about trans-racial adoptions (i.e., adopting a baby of a different race than your own). I contributed a story about my aunt and uncle, and said that foreign adoptions are now "more common, even trendy in some circles" so there seems to be a lot more acceptance of this kind of thing.
A few people took offense to the use of the word trendy, and I explained that while I didn't mean to offend anyone and I certainly wasn't trying to imply that everyone who adopts a baby from a foreign country does it to be trendy, I used to live in a town where it really seemed like women treated it that way. I guess it's one of those thing where you would have to be there, seeing/hearing these women, to see what I mean, because I swear I would not make that kind of assumption about someone if it didn't have some merit. I then got attacked for drawing my own conclusions, blah blah blah. I reiterated that I didn't mean EVERYONE, gave some examples of what I had experienced, and left. I have no idea where it went from there.
I was not the only one, by a long shot, who commented on these women in my town. It was like a freaking epidemic. Sometimes I wonder how those kids are doing now that they're older and the novelty has worn off.
Laura. Dude. That is hilarious, and you are completely correct. There was even a whole thing with celebrities, a joke about when Jennifer Aniston and whoever were going to get their babies from [insert country name here].
I think celebrities probably played a large part in what happened in my town. I would literally overhear people saying things like, "We decided to adopt a baby from Korea instead of China because they're soooo much cuter." or "Sigh, your baby is so cute, I can't wait until I get my Chinese baby!" They would also talk my ear off (I worked at a toy store) about how they were such great people for saving this baby from the horrors of wherever they were from. Eyeroll. If you want to adopt a baby from another country, fine, but don't go around patting yourself on the back for it to anyone who would listen, and don't talk about the kids like trading cards.
One of the people on TB argued that it's really hard to adopt a baby, so someone wouldn't do it just because it's trendy. I don't know if it's easier in some Asian countries, or if it was just easier for these women because they were disgustingly rich with a ton of time on their hands, but it didn't seem like they were going through the kind of anguish that my aunt and uncle, and other friends, have gone through while trying to adopt. I was pretty careful to state over and over again that I wasn't making sweeping generalizations, but WTF it wasn't worth it.
I'm on this post way late but oh well. I would be a SAHM so fast!! I don't make that much money, and the money I do make would literally pay for day care (i've researched it for my area). I think I have a longing to be SAHM since my mom was a work-a-holic and we were basically raised by day care and then baby sitters.
Also, H is totally into having a baby..right now! I went for my lady doctor check up on tuesday and everything was good and I got my lab results back today. (had to have some blood work) And I called H to tell him all the result were good and his first response was "well so what did she say about having a baby". I said I didn't talk to her about it. (I actually meant to but got distracted by some other stuff we got into) he was like "why?" Also, almost every other night he says something about having a child. Makes me feel all warm inside that he is actually excited about it!!