Confessions, anyone?

QueenofAnything · February 2011

LauraT25:
I think celebrities probably played a large part in what happened in my town. I would literally overhear people saying things like, "We decided to adopt a baby from Korea instead of China because they're soooo much cuter." or "Sigh, your baby is so cute, I can't wait until I get my Chinese baby!" They would also talk my ear off (I worked at a toy store) about how they were such great people for saving this baby from the horrors of wherever they were from. Eyeroll. If you want to adopt a baby from another country, fine, but don't go around patting yourself on the back for it to anyone who would listen, and don't talk about the kids like trading cards.
One of the people on TB argued that it's really hard to adopt a baby, so someone wouldn't do it just because it's trendy. I don't know if it's easier in some Asian countries, or if it was just easier for these women because they were disgustingly rich with a ton of time on their hands, but it didn't seem like they were going through the kind of anguish that my aunt and uncle, and other friends, have gone through while trying to adopt. I was pretty careful to state over and over again that I wasn't making sweeping generalizations, but WTF it wasn't worth it.

My uncle's ex wife wanted to adopt a chinese baby girl because a) she wanted a girl after her 2 boys but mostly because b) all of her friends were doing it and c) omg they're soooooo cute. My uncle put his foot down and said no. The point is, I get where you're coming from.

LauraT25 · February 2011

QueenofAnything:
My uncle's ex wife wanted to adopt a chinese baby girl because a) she wanted a girl after her 2 boys but mostly because b) all of her friends were doing it and c) omg they're soooooo cute. My uncle put his foot down and said no. The point is, I get where you're coming from.

THANK YOU! While I think it's awful and gives other, normal adopters a bad name, that doesn't mean you can just pretend I'm making it up, Bumpies!

DatsyuksMommy · February 2011

I know I'm so late on this, but my confession is that I am not KU. I thought for sure that I was and that the blood test would settle it once and for all, but my blood says no baby. I do not know why AF is three weeks late again, and all I want is to have a baby. I confess that getting pg is all I think about and that I am probably making myself crazy with it.

shauni27 · February 2011

rully rully late on this too, but...

dats, im so sorry that your test came back negative. i was really thinking you were knocked up but not to worry, you are young and healthy and it is a long, hard, challenging journey, and you will get there eventually! it may seem like you have been trying forever, but it really has only been a few months (that i know of!) and you will be pregnant before you know it!

laura-i'm sorry about that crappy feeling you got from posting on TN, i HATED when that happened the one time i posted on stupid etiquette. i understand where you are coming from, but have you ever heard anyone generalize anything that pisses you off? for example, i hate when people say something about people ("oh, and not all people, but a lot of people!") using welfare checks just for the cash and not because they need it? that pisses me off. it is a generalization and it is (to me) wrong. my point is that is how people on the bump (and on here?) might have felt when you made a generalized comment about adoption being trendy. now, i know you, and i respect you, and i know where you were coming from. but as someone who comes from an interracial adopted family, i can see where those individuals are coming from.

annnnnnd the end.

thatjessie · February 2011

I could never be a sahm. Jump over to working moms :-) Im very proud of myself working outside of the home.

SusieQ1981 · February 2011

Keeping my fingers crossed for your Dats - I was waiting for the big fat I'm KU post from you one of these days....and one of these days we'll get it.

Laura - From having been on a couple of different baby boards (on TB and on BabyCenter and even Motherlode, a blog on the NYT) I have come to the conclusion that many pregnant women/moms are just crazy and will use any post as an excuse to argue about anything. Whether it's circumcision, breastfeeding, clothdiapering, crib bumpers, adoption, whatever. They just like to instigate. I think it's the hormones Angry All of it just comes down to the same thing as SAH - personal choice - though some would like you to think that your child will wind up a perpetually ill sociopath with an IQ of 50 if you don't do everything EXACTLY THE WAY THEY DO IT. Stay far, far away from the crazy people...

LauraT25 · February 2011

Shauni - I basically already said that; I realized I shouldn't have said something like that in a community where people don't already know me. I tried to make it clear that I wasn't generalizing by saying 'in some circles', but I didn't clarify what those circles were, and I just shouldn't have said it at all. Like I said, I would have no reservations saying something like that here, where I would like to think that people would ask me to clarify or discuss it with me if they were offended, rather than just assuming I'm an *** right off the bat. But, again, I can't entirely blame them since I came onto their turf forgetting they didn't know me, you know?

DatsyuksMommy · February 2011

Yeah I was hoping to have a big "I'm KU" post too, but no such luck. The doc says I'm probably not ovulating on time, so I may need to go on some hormones to get my body back on schedule, and I need to exercise more. Hopefully I'll be having a follow-up appointment soon to help me make sense of everything. I know 6 months isn't very long to have been trying, but it is pretty disheartening.

Confessions, anyone?

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