September 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Tuesday Confessions
Thanks ladies.
I mean, it's not like I'm going to stop... just commenting about the vibes I guess. Because there are vibes, even if they're not spelled out. And it's been that way for a while... but we've been down this road before, and I don't think we need to go down it again.
And on that note:
5 MONTH SAMMA!!!
updated 10.03.12
Since many of these confessions are obviously aimed at me, I guess I need to justify my comments today. First, people, when hiding behind a computer, often say things like "I'll throat punch someone" or "I'll cut a b!tch." Does that mean I'll actually slash someone's throat? No. We confess lots of things on this board, and we typically exaggerate our feelings. I say many things here that I'd NEVER say to anyone's face. Things that I don't really even feel. I wish my cousin and all of you PG niners nothing but happiness. I feel like I remain pretty positive and congratulatory toward you all in general. I realize that often it's my own bitterness that starts talking, and I know that isn't the "right" way to be, but I bottle this up 24/7 and I feel like I should be able to confess or support others who are going through the same thing on this board.
Stories like Michelle's friend, Neuner's client, or Robin's accidently knocked up friend do sting. I do often think that it isn't fair. I don't think it's fair that some people get KU without even really trying or by mistake, when we've been doing everything "right" for over a year. Sometimes I do feel like I'm "entitled" to have a child. I try not to portray that feeling IRL or on this board, but I do feel that way, and I'm not ashamed of it. Robin and I dedicate our lives to children. We're responsible, financially stable, and would provide a loving environment for a child. It isn't fair (not that anything ever is) that other people far less "prepared" than we are just get KU whenever they feel like it. Whether you're struggling with TTC or not, we've all experienced this feeling in some form or fashion in our lives. I would think we could be a little more understanding.
First, LOL at Jillian for the spontaneous ovulation comment.
Second, I want to confess and apologize that I haven't really extended any congratulations for the newly pregnant ladies since my loss. I promise I am happy for everyone, deep down, it's just still difficult sometimes to read anything pregnancy-related, so I just skip those threads most of the time. I do also want to confess and apologize because I feel like I'm nothing but a big Debbie Downer for the last 6 months. Between my mom dying and my m/c it's been really rough for me. The m/c especially. I feel like I got kicked out of a really cool and exclusive club, and I have nothing to contribute to conversation anymore. The few times I do venture into the PR threads, I feel like I'll just depress people if I say anything about my failed pregnancy, so I try to keep my mouth shut as much as I can.
I will say I totally get the anger toward some (not all) "OMG we didn't even try!" pregnant people only because I feel like pregnancy and having kids is a tremendous blessing, and I feel like some people take it for granted that they can have sex once, get pregnant, and have a healthy baby with absolutely no effort or sacrifice on their part. While other people who would be amazing mothers have trouble conceiving, or losses, and have to sit by while these people do harmful things to their unborn children, neglect or abuse the ones they have, etc. I was only pregnant for 9 weeks, but I enjoyed it. Even the crummy parts like the nausea and the heartburn. Because I knew how blessed I was to be able to provide for my child. And it sucks that it was taken away from me when some people who don't even want it will pop out hordes of healthy kids without a thought.
Anyway, just my 2 cents now that I'm home from work.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I like to call it her Oh. Em. Gee. face ;D
updated 10.03.12
Long time no see!! Post, whatever...
I want a baby. Badbadbad. I hear the clock ticking a little louder lately. Looking on here at all the KU announcements (congrats everyone btw!!
), I am jealous of others because I am scared that I/we will never be able to afford to have a baby, and it seems like everyone else can. I know you do the best with what you have, but I'm still worried.
On another note, school is kickin my ass, but I love it.
i definitely understand, as much as i can having not gone through it myself, all of your frustration on having difficulties TTC. like i said, it makes me angry that deserving people like the ladies on this board can't get pregnant when they want it SO badly, but people who dont take care of themselves or their unborn children can do it easily. i *get* that anger.
what i dont get is the anger toward someone just as deserving, in a stable marriage, who only takes one cycle to get pregnant. they are just as deserving IMO and maybe they have had struggles elsewhere in their life. so i dont *get* that anger.
i do genuinely wish the best TTC to everyone on this board and to those who have had losses. i dont want you to think that i wasnt being genuine when i said DD and McD deserved a hug today. i know its hard for them and i truthfully wish it wasnt.
anger is hard to control i guess. i've been angry before that people can beat up their body and never be sick a day in their life while i have a good lifestyle i had to have open heart surgery at 22. surely that is not the same as not being able to conceive a baby, i know that. and im sure some of you judge me for my anger. but like i said, different people have different struggles. and like JW pointed out to me before, not all scars are visible.
wow im shocked you remember..but glad you do. and i mean that in a non-snotty way
I confess that I feel really guilty that all I have to talk about on here is baby. I feel like I have nothing else going on right now though because there's no time. Andplusalso I don't really get to post while at work so when debates about anything I'm interested in do go on, I'm late to the party. I ready daily though and I miss posting about other things with you ladies, non-baby related especially because I know there are several ladies on here that are having TTC and are hanging in there. I would feel the same way that it would "sting" reading about others' baby related stuff, I would still feel happy for them, but there would definitely always be jealousy. It took us six months to conceive, but I know that doesn't count becuase it's still within the normal limits.
I also confess that I think certain people do deserve a baby over others, but in the same sense that everyone else seems to which is that it's not fair that crack babies are born every 30 seconds when people like DD, mcd, Mrs. Mo, tmd...all have had trouble (sorry if I'm leaving anyone out, it's not on purpose those are just the ladies I can think of off the top of my head at the moment and I know Mrs. Mo is having a successful pg now!! yay!)
A girl I work with is dying to have a baby and I feel bad that she has to be faced with me on a daily basis even though she's been extremely supportive and genuinely interested throughout my whole pregnancy. She even orgnaized my work baby shower and helped me load my car with the loot. I gave her the biggest hug and teared up thanking her for her support because I can't even imagine how hard it is for her to put on her happy face. I cannot wait until she has a successful pregnancy because she and her husband really deserve it.
I feel like I should make another confession. Partly, so that people understand where I'm coming from, and partly just to get it off my chest. We have a follow-up visit tomorrow with a urologist. Robin has to have surgery on his left testicle. Basically, he has a version of varicose veins that is causing his sperm (70% of them to be exact) to form abnormally. After the surgery, it will take 3 months for sperm to begin replinishing itself normally, hopefully. This also means that I need to stop taking Clomid for the next 3 months, because we're essentially wasting those doses, and we have to reschedule our appointment with the RE for later in the year.
When my cousin told me they were trying again, I immediately thought "oh great. She's going to be PG before me." And I don't care how happy I want to be for them that still sucks for me. Watching people all around you have what you are struggling for is hard. I don't think many of you realize what a personal and trying thing that is. I apologize for offending anyone who got KU right away. That honestly isn't my intention, and I honestly am happy for you all. I'm just dealing with a lot of setbacks right now. Like others have said, I can be happy and excited for you and still bitter and jealous myself. The feelings definitely aren't mutually exclusive. I'm not here to throw some big pity party or make you all feel bad about your success. I'm positive that I've never said to anyone on this board or IRL that I don't want to see/ hear about your babies. I'm sorry if that's the person I'm portraying, because that's definitely not me. Anger, jealousy, and resentment are crazy things, and they can make you say and do things you don't mean.
Hey. I'm not trying to beat a dead horse here, but I was offline after my last post yesterday and, frankly, I feel somewhat responsible for the turn this post took, seeings how I posted the first woe-is-me-TTC post.
The only things I have to add to this post is that, in spite of our differences and our experiences and any previous discord we may have had, I am really glad to be a part of this board. Just reading the entire thread this morning, I am really proud of how people responded here. What could have spun down a really dark and ugly road turned out to be a pretty decent conversation, full of support and level-headed discourse.
Also, for the record, I repeat that I am happy and supportive of all the ladies here who are expecting and/or mothers. I want to see your pictures (well, you can keep those floating-fetus-in-a-jar photos, if I'm being honest) and hear your stories. Like I said, I live vicariously through you.
And thanks to everyone who understood my/our frustrations at our difficulty TTC. We need to be able to share that stuff here, just like you moms need to be able to share your breastfeeding troubles, or best deals on diapers. I purposefully don't visit any other boards on TN, but especially the pregnancy ones. The Niner board is enough crazy for me!