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Too Much Suspense....and a poll.
My sister was due with my new niece or nephew on Tuesday, and baby has still not arrived 
It is her first, so I was kind of expecting the baby to come after the EDD, but I am still at the edge of my seat waiting She asked me to be in the delivery room with her, so I am basically attached to my phone so I don't miss the call. I feel like a nut.
I always used to think that I would want to be Team Green and wait until my kids were born to find out their sex. After this whole experience with my sister and not being able to handle the suspense, there is no way I will be able to wait with my own kids.
So my poll question is this: If you already have kids, did you find out their sex? If not, do you plan to? Or, do you have your own spin on this? i.e. Found out with the first, but not finding out after that?
Just curious!
2.3.11: Started TTC
2.8.12:Initial b/w - Normal
3.7.12:HSG - Normal
3.8.12:S/A - Normal
Cycle #12/Month #15 - 50mg.Clomid CD5-CD9 - BFN
4.24.12: RE appointment - DX Unexplained IF
7.12 - 9.12: TTA
10.12 - 1.13: TTC Naturally
February 2013 - IUI #1 w/100 mg Clomid - 5 mil.post-wash: BFFN
March 2013 - IUI #2 w/100 mg Clomid & Trigger - ?? MY BLOG
Re: Too Much Suspense....and a poll.
I think it would still be a good surprise finding out early, either you'll be surprised at the 20 week mark or during birth.
We plan on finding out for our first child, atleast. From what my friends that are moms have told me, there are so many other emotions the day you give birth, they didn't feel cheated by already knowing the sex of the baby.
It's a surprise no matter when you find out...I don't quite understand that argument.
I would have to know. I think we would tell people what it is but we'd keep any name ideas to ourselves until it was born.
We've gone back and forth about what we'll do once we have children. I would love to know the sex of a future child, but we can't decide if we would want to know or not. It would be nice to be prepared for a specific sex, but we aren't wanting to seriously enforce gender/sex stereotypes anyway. I don't see why a baby girl can't wear blue, I don't see why a baby boy can't wear pink. I can see how it makes it "easy" on the public if you child is dressed in typical colors, but I don't want to teach a future child that they need to follow that. We would plan on decorating a future nursery with neutrals and non-gender specific colors and let the pink/blue be brought in with accessories.
That said - I don't think I'd be dissapointed knowing in advance, or not knowing. I'm trying to make an effort to let go of the little things and see things on a bigger picture. In the grand scheme of things, if we were to find out - great! If not - great!
jack | born 9.13.12 at 40w4d | 9 lbs 12 oz | 23 in
my puppy loves - chloe & jenson
pregnancy blog | chart
We haven't had kids yet but we plan on finding out when we eventually get pregnant.
My BIL and SIL are due in June and originally planned to not find out but due to budget concerns, they decided to find out. (They wanted to decorate the nursery and MIL is making TONS of stuff for them and they wanted to make it easier on her). They aren't sharing what they are naming him though.
My BF just had her son on Monday, she found out, and everyone knew his name as soon as she found out.
Another good friend of mine in CO is due any day now and they did not find out. She's getting a huge amount of facebook comments basically saying have the baby already- we want to know what it is! Most people, including me and the mother, think it will definitely be a girl.
I've always thought that I wouldn't want to know but the more I think about it, I kind of do want to find out before the birth.
I'd like to plan the nursery, names etc. I'd also want to start including the baby in the family--talking about our Baby Girl or our Baby Boy by giving them a name and not just "it". Does that make sense? I'd rather call my Baby something rather than "it".
Also, God forbid there is anything wrong at birth or during delivery, I don't want finding out the sex to be overshadowed by "what's wrong with my baby?". I really don't think it would, but in my head I see it as a situation kind of like this "It's a Girl!" "Ok, great..what's wrong..is she ok?" You know what I mean?
I am due very soon with my 2nd LO and we found out with both pregnancies.
I knew that my DH and I would not be able to wait with the first because we were so excited. After going through the experience the first time I can honestly say that knowing helps me to be calm leading up to the birth. I have never been anxious with either to "just get it over with" or felt like I couldn't wait for the baby to come. I think that knowing helped me with those feelings A LOT.
Also, the second time we wanted to be able to talk concretely with my DS about getting a new sister because we think it helps to make it real for him.
We did not find out the sex when I was pregnant with Carly, and we will probably do the same with any future children we have. I think it is the only true surprise in life, and it was awesome to be able to have the moment right after Carly was born. I know it is still a surprise if you find out, but it's just different....idk. Plus there is a chance that they will tell you the wrong sex...I know quite a few people that this happened to!
I never really understood the planning ahead reasoning for finding out. We would have bought mostly gender neutral things either way. The only thing it would have made a difference for is buying clothes, I guess, and the baby doesn't know the difference! Also, even if you do dress your baby in pink or blue, people still won't know the sex. So many people call Carly a boy even though she is wearing pink (not that a boy can't wear pink, they just usually don't).
My Bio
Married Bio
This is how I feel. My husband and I definitely want to find out beforehand, and we don't think it will diminish the day-of-birth surprises for us at all. I hardly think the birth will be anticlimatic if we know the sex beforehand!
(Not that this is the argument people are making.)
It's not that I feel like I can't handle the suspense, it's just that... like a pp said, I want to be able to start conceptualizing my baby before I meet him/her. Also, I have always always wanted little girls, and I'll be honest that if I find out I'm having a boy, I'll have a little twinge of disappointment. I'll get over it obviously, and I won't love the boy any less, BUT I know I will feel that little twinge of disappointment, and I don't want to have that emotion on the day-of-birth. If it's a boy, I'd rather have fully accepted and embraced that before he's born...
Plus, these days, it's almost like you have to work harder NOT to know... It's interesting how there's this current trend to deliberately not find out the sex, when not all that long ago, you had to kind of go out of your way to find out, and people thought it was AMAZING that you could find out the sex beforehand. The social trend pendulum swings...
But to each her own
I agree with all of this. We wanted to find out, but rather than finding out during the ultrasound we had the technician write the sex on a piece of paper and seal in an envelope. After the appointment we went out to a nice dinner and opened the envelope together. For both of us, this made the moment more intimate because we didn't have a stranger with us, and we were able to process, talk and be excited in our own way.
We also shared the baby's sex with everyone, but we decided we are not naming him until we see him. We both have strong, weird feelings about calling unborn children by their name until they are actually born. We have a couple names chosen and will decide what he 'feels' like once he gets here. Also, this way we don't have to worry about people having unnecessary opinions about a child that is not even theirs. I made the mistake of telling some family members a couple of names on our list, and was told 'yuck, don't name him that.'
This exactly. Even if I do find out, there is no way I will tell names beforehand.
2.3.11: Started TTC
2.8.12:Initial b/w - Normal
3.7.12:HSG - Normal
3.8.12:S/A - Normal
Cycle #12/Month #15 - 50mg.Clomid CD5-CD9 - BFN
4.24.12: RE appointment - DX Unexplained IF
7.12 - 9.12: TTA
10.12 - 1.13: TTC Naturally
February 2013 - IUI #1 w/100 mg Clomid - 5 mil.post-wash: BFFN
March 2013 - IUI #2 w/100 mg Clomid & Trigger - ?? MY BLOG
If you're at your ultrasound and don't know the sex of the baby, there will be suspense leading up to that appointment, so during that appointment it'll be a surprise when you find out. Same way there will be suspense leading up to the birth not knowing and then finding out. *shrugs shoulders* guess that is just how I see it.
We did the same thing for the same reasons as you! I didn't want to hear everyone's opinion about the names we were talking about. Plus after the baby is already named it doesn't matter what anyone says!
My Bio
Married Bio
I agree with you totally... it feels like you might be thinking I'm disagreeing with you? I hate not being able to read tone on the internet.
It's a surprise in the ultrasound room or a surprise in the delivery room. Either way it goes - one second you don't know and the next you do! :-)
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I kind of compare it to seeing each other before your wedding. It doesn't make the ceremony any less special feeling...
I had the exact same thought
Now the scientist in me is wondering if there are any correlations between people who choose not to see each other before the wedding ceremony and those who choose not to find out the sex of their baby...
I guess I see it more along the lines of peeking at a Christmas Present before Christmas. It is fun and exciting at that second but then Christmas rolls around and you already know what it is and it isn't a surprise anymore.
So to me - knowing before their arrival isn't a surprise. It is peeking.
We have all of my niece and nephews clothes from birth - 2T in tubs organized by sex and age since we have lots of storage at our house. So it doesn't matter what we have since we have the clothes for either sex. Plus, I don't want to get a lot of gender specific colored items because then what happens if our next child is the opposite sex? So team green ensure any little gifts we get (before baby comes) will work for any child we have after that first one too.
Also, FWIW - we saw each other before the wedding privately but want to wait and find out the sex of the baby until the delivery room. So those two things don't correlate for us.
Add me to this team. My sister is due in a couple of weeks and she went back and forth and finally decided to find out. We are excitedly waiting for her baby boy!
I think finding out early stretched the excitement over the course of the pregnancy rather than having everything happening on one day. Obviously people are excited either way, but I feel like I'll have enough to be excited about on the actual day.
Judging
I do get frustrated with some people that say you can't bond or talk with your child if you don't know the sex and have a name. So you are saying you haven't already bonded and/or talked to your baby for the first half of your pregnancy?!
Are you referring to people in this thread, or people in general? I don't get the feeling that anyone in this thread is being judgy about the topic--just stating their own views on the decision. Obviously this is a decision that just comes down to personal preference, and and there's no right/wrong about it. But I think it is interesting to explore people's rationales for their decisions...
I do agree that this is one of many personal parenting decisions that "other people" like to weigh in on, even when it really has nothing to do with them
I'm referring to people in general.
Ummmm...you seem to be the only one that is getting really heated about it....?
Everyone does what is best for them. Wait, don't wait, I don't care. I wouldn't wait, you will... no big deal...? Am I missing something? Who was getting heated?
eta: Nevermind....I read your follow up post! :-)