Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Swinging........?
In my vows, I said NOTHING about forsaking all others - all I promised to do was love him, drink beer when the celtics won and mourn when they lost. I can do that and have sex with other people.
About being greener, I already know I like guys better, I just want some girl action on the side.
I've heard communication is everything. I have a friend and her husband swing and she said they have very clear boundaries and rules set up ahead of time, and she is mostly in control of how things go.
Good luck! Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions...
This.
My first marriage was a disaster for many reasons, but this was one of them. Some things are better left in the brain.
I realize I'm a little late to the party, BUT...
Several years ago, I was hanging out with my friend at the apartment she shared with her fiance. Long story short, we got drunk, we had a threesome with her fiance, and I ultimately became the "other woman." In all fairness, she did say that she didn't want him to penetrate me, so he didn't--at least not until she passed out. I still feel horrible about breaking up their engagement, but he was a serial cheater, so I guess I kinda sped up the process and got the inevitable over with. To answer any questions, no she and I aren't friends anymore, and he cheated on me and, from what I've heard, several other women.
As others have said and as you clearly know, boundaries need to be defined, but you also need to know that you trust your husband enough (and that he trusts you enough and rightfully so) that those boundaries will be respected. Those aren't just boundaries for specific actions, but also for how and when you choose to swing (always together? do you need to tell each other or ask permission? what kind of protection is used?), with whom (friends or strangers?), and what effect you want it to have on your marriage. If it starts to affect your sex life at home between just the two of you in a negative way, what will be the plan then?
The only person I know who swings (or at least has told me that he does) is a friend who is engaged, and he frequently flirts with me and hooks up with other women when his fiancee isn't aware of it. So the two experiences I know of--mine and my friend's--both ended negatively or, let's face it, will wind up doing just that. I won't say that swinging will definitely result in the proverbial can of worms being opened, but it certainly does give you a lot to think about and talk to him about.
I've toyed with the idea of swinging myself, so thanks for asking the question. Giving you what little input I have has helped me give it a little more thought myself.