GusGus was never a cuddly, social bun. As my husband often said "she's afraid of air." We left her to herself most of the time and opened the cage so that she could play with the cats many nights. We'd try to sneak in pettings while we were feeding her every day, and sometimes she'd allow a little pet, but most of the time she dodged away and tucked into a corner. We only forced her out when we had to clean her cage or trim her nails.
But on Saturday, I knew that things
were coming to an end and I only had a day or two left with her. I
spent a lot of time lying on the couch, a blanket over me, GusGus on my
chest. And in a true sign that something was wrong, she just laid there
and let me pet her. On Sunday morning DH sat with her for awhile and told me that she'd begun grinding her teeth, a sign that a bunny is in pain. That broke my heart. I took her out a couple of times for more cuddling, having already decided to stop forcing the food and medicine in her, and I'd get a little time in before she began grinding her teeth.
We got home from Easter dinner last night and I called an emergency vet who was open, explained the situation, and asked them to please take care of her so that she didn't have to sit through another full day in pain just to take her back to the original doctor (who wasn't open yesterday). They said of course and had me bring her in.
I cried the whole way there. I cried while saying goodbye to her and then when they took her away (they don't allow you to be there with smaller animals, but they gave me as much time as I wanted to say goodbye). I sobbed hysterically in the car. It was made even worse by the fact that I was there alone. DH had to stay home with DD, who had gone to bed for the night and who just didn't need to see me in that state.
I feel a little hollow now. I've never had to do that before - take a pet to be euthanized. I came home and told DH that I didn't want pets anymore because that was just too damn hard and it hurt too much. I looked at my cats and burst into tears at the thought of having to repeat the process with them one day.
This morning I had to sit Mia down and tell her that GusGus wouldn't be coming home. I told her that GusGus wasn't getting better and she had to stay with the doctors. She kept saying "but when she gets better she'll come home, right Mommy?" and I kept having to repeat that no, GusGus wouldn't be getting better and wouldn't be coming home. She asked if she could go look in GusGus' cage because she just knew she'd be in there, and I told her that the cage was gone (I had DH dismantle it last night - I couldn't look at it). That's when it sunk in. She didn't cry, but she's definitely sad. She asked if we could get another pet bunny and I told her no, we had two cats to love and play with, and they were enough.
Re: F/U: my bunny
... every single day of forever.
I am so sorry that you had to go through this (or that anyone does).I've had to put several animals down and it is never easy. I'm sure explaining it to Mia made it even worse (if that's possible). Please take care of yourself.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w -- BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w -- BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d -- BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
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Thanks so much everyone, I genuinely appreciate the kindness and support. I feel a little foolish until I see the supportive comments on Facebook and here on TheNest - they reassure me that it's okay to be sad.
I'm so sorry.
You did the right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier.
**hugs**
{{{{hugs}}}}
It's so hard to lose a treasured pet. I'm in tears reading this.
5 cats. 1 baby.
Oh Dani, I feel so sad for you guys. It breaks my heart reading your description of your conversation with Mia. That had to be so difficult...knowing that you'd be breaking her heart as well by giving that news. You handled it so eloquently, and I know you'll comfort each other as you miss GusGus. It's definitely a part of parenting and pet ownership that I don't look forward to but I hope I'll handle it as well as you.
(((hugs)))
DE IVF #1= 04/11 - BFP
It is absolutely NOT foolish to be sad. People think that just because it's not a cat or a dog getting put down, it should be easier, but it's not. I had to put down two of my pet rats, and it crushed me. It doesn't matter what size or shape or type of animal it is. If you loved the animal, it's going to be hard.
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