September 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Ugly Babies
Of course every mother thinks her child is the most gorgeous infant in the world, but we'd be kidding ourselves if we said we never saw a baby we didn't think was cute. I mean, obviously I think my daughter is perfect, but believe you me -- I have seen me some ugly babies. Sure you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but deep down inside, you really hope for the child's sake that they grow into their beauty. Consider it an ugly duckling scenerio.
So that being said -- hypothetically -- would you ever tell a mother that her baby wasn't as adorable as her biased eyes believed? Would you find some coy way to convey your feelings? Or would you just smile and nod and say how nice they looked?
Re: Ugly Babies
I would probably pick out one feature that was nice and focus on that. Like, "Oh, he has such pretty eyes!" or "he holds his head up so well!"
Because, ya know...they can't all be Ellie.
:Blog:
i am not really shy about my opinion that all babies are ugly and truthfully, i never look at babies except for niners' photos.
also this just reminds me of the Friends episode where Rachel and Janice have their babies at the same time. And everyone is like "gasp!" haha.
In person, I typically don't comment on the baby at all if I think it's ugly. I might say something like "Oh what a cute outfit!" but I'm not one to lie and I'm not good at hiding my feelings so I try to just shy away from the topic. This probably does some what coyly convey my feelings since I clearly don't comment on the baby being cute at all...oh well.
If the person pushes further and asks specifically "Don't you think he's just so cute?" I'll pick one feature that is cute (hey, there has to be ONE, usually hands or feet are adorable) and comment on that instead.
I'm an ***, I know.
I would lie and just say oh he/she is so cute. But then again I haven't really seen an ugly baby.
LOL wow!
One of my friends has one of the ugliest kids I've ever seen, but she has gorgeous eyes - so I just focus on those. It probably makes me a bad person, but whatever.
I think most babies take a few months to actually have cuteness to them. Their cheeks fill out, they don't look so just squeezed out.
If I see them, I normally deflect like Ames and mckee. Like, oh he/she's so tiny. Look at his/her little hands.
I do that in most cases though, when I don't particularly care for something and others are likely to have some sort of personal connection to it. Like engagement rings, shoes, hair cuts, etc. Especially when it seem people are looking for a certain reaction.
Zuma Zoom
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
We'll save a seat in Hell for you.
updated 10.03.12
We're gonna need a round booth...
How do you have a touch of a chromosomal abnormality?
Stand up for something you believe in.
Yeah, I was wondering this myself. I think either you have it, or you don't.
I had the same thoughts myself while I was pregnant, but once I saw Sami I knew I was wrong, and didnt care if was my subjective opinion or not.
updated 10.03.12
I saw a baby once that had huge eyebrows. I mean they were scary. Luckily, I didn't know them personally, so I didn't need to comment on his looks, but whenever I think ugly baby that memory stick out.
I'd just deflect. I'd say something like "adorable outfit" or "I love her hair." It isn't necessary to go on and on about how cute they are, if they aren't, but I definitely wouldn't tell someone they had an ugly baby.
ETA: Oh, also, I was a total conehead. My poor mother was in labor for 36 hours. I was not a pretty newborn. It took a few weeks for it to all even out.
Yeahhhhhh DS is pretty serious. I'm sure they would know.
updated 10.03.12
Sounds like she definitely has a developmental delay. Have they taken her to be evaluated? "A touch of DS" doesn't sound like a real diagnosis.
Sami's nose was so squished when she was first born, it made me sad.
I also found myself pointing it out to people first, as if to let them know that I knew it was there, and that they didn't have to pretend everything was perfect, lol
updated 10.03.12
That's sad. It's not something to be ashamed of. I hope they're getting her the help she needs.
Yeah, there's no such thing as a "touch of DS." You either have it or you don't. Some people with DS show their "symptoms" more than others, though, so maybe that's what they mean. Their looks or level of mental retardation can vary greatly. It may also be a developmental delay or some type of autism.
Weston had a conehead too! It was pretty amazing how it was pretty much gone within a few hours.
I get what Kristen is saying even though her semantics were wrong. There is something "off" with a 1+ yo that doesnt smile or babble or walk. But on the other hand you dont exactly say to people "Whats wrong with your baby?"
theres a back story to this too which I'm sure Kristen doesnt feel is her place to share here. if you knew the whole story it would make much more sense.