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Friends, money, vent!

I feel so bad for venting this, but I have to get it out. We have a  couple who we are very close friends with. They've been dating for a few years and she really wants to get engaged and start a family. He's been skirting the issue, with $ as his main concern (he is uber in debt).

So what do they do last week -- go to Vegas where he loses $400 (the first night) on blackjack (he never won anything back all weekend). I am all about taking a break and having fun, but all this guy does is spend $ carelessly. He is up to his eyeballs in debt, and I am just so tired of hearing about it and then watching him spend on needless things!

 

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Re: Friends, money, vent!

  • This would be my sister and her fiancee in a nutshell. They B!tch all the time about having no money, and they go out and buy junk, and brand new cars, and have rediculous car payments, crappy credit,and then wonder why they couldn't afford to do their "Dream wedding" next month by getting married in a helicopter over niagra falls.. Gee  you think?  I swear one of us is adopted... I think it's her b/c our parent's aren't like that at all.  
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  • Well, I know that I always think a man who gets in debt and then stays in debt because he continues to make foolish choices is EXACTLY the right kind of guy to start a family with! NOT.

    I'd be frustrated with your friend as well. If you can't talk to her about it, feel free to vent here!

    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW
  • We have friends who are like that too.  But they have crazy car payments and go out to eat multiple times a week.  At $50 a pop, that's a lot of money each month.  It frustrates me that they think we're so lucky, blah blah blah.  We're only doing well because we have sacrificed a lot in the last few years.  But they don't see that. 

    There was this one guy I was super in love with before I moved here.  Well, I don't care how much we loved each other, it would have never have worked because he was terrible with money and not willing to compromise.  I could have never have handled that. So glad I held out b/c DH is one million times better. 

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  • imagedanieleandwayne:

    Well, I know that I always think a man who gets in debt and then stays in debt because he continues to make foolish choices is EXACTLY the right kind of guy to start a family with! NOT.

    I'd be frustrated with your friend as well. If you can't talk to her about it, feel free to vent here!

    I totally agree and next time she complains about him not proposing, I plan to ask her if they've ever talked about his spending habits. 

    imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Good plan!

    And what about her? What kind of girlfriend encourages this kind of irresponsible behaviour when it directly interferes with her plans to marry this guy? And why would she think that marrying him is a good idea?!?

    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW
  • UGH!  Having to watch friends behave like that would be so frustrating!  I hate watching people make the same mistakes over and over again!
  • That crap drives me up the freaking wall. I always wonder what is going to happen when people from our generation, who mostly do not have pensions and will probably get minimal to none social security-wise, retire. I will be pissed if DH and I are expected to support people like that who just threw money away on vacations, cars, TVs, etc when we were actually being responsible and saving money. But, what will be the other option when people are too old to work?
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  • jd72878jd72878 member
    Seventh Anniversary Combo Breaker
    We probably all have friends like you've described.  Totally frustrating.  It makes me happy we have our priorities in line.  Sacrifice along the way for more exciting things like traveling (insert whatever your fancy is here)  :-) 
    Our Abby Jean

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  • imagedanieleandwayne:

    Good plan!

    And what about her? What kind of girlfriend encourages this kind of irresponsible behaviour when it directly interferes with her plans to marry this guy? And why would she think that marrying him is a good idea?!?

    This is my question! I don't understand women who are hellbent on marrying a guy when he is clearly not making decisions that say "responsible adult".  

  • imageMainer-in-Texas:
    That crap drives me up the freaking wall. I always wonder what is going to happen when people from our generation, who mostly do not have pensions and will probably get minimal to none social security-wise, retire. I will be pissed if DH and I are expected to support people like that who just threw money away on vacations, cars, TVs, etc when we were actually being responsible and saving money. But, what will be the other option when people are too old to work?

    I think about this all the time. Mostly because I teach at a private school and so I won't get a pension. But I do have a 401K, Roth IRA and am trying to plan for the long-way off retirement.  

    imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • imagedanieleandwayne:

    Good plan!

    And what about her? What kind of girlfriend encourages this kind of irresponsible behaviour when it directly interferes with her plans to marry this guy? And why would she think that marrying him is a good idea?!?

    This is what I want to know! I don't think I could be friends with someone dense enough to stick with a guy like this and actually want to make a lifetime commitment to him!

    - namaste mothafockaaaas - image
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