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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Vacation with the In-Laws
In a few weeks, my husband and I are going to the beach with pretty much his entire family, including cousins and all their kids. This will only be about a week after our first anniversary and we'll be stuck in this too-small beach house with way too many people and WAY too many loud, annoying kids. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. But a few of these kids get under my skin very easily.
Any tips on dealing with in-laws in bulk and in close quarters (when it's supposed to be a vacation)?
Re: Vacation with the In-Laws
Sure. Don't go.
Honestly, though, that does not sound like fun at all to me. I seriously would consider not going.
Can you get your own hotel room? Also, make sure you have your own transportation so you're not stuck in close quarters with all of those people the whole time.
Oh, if only that were an option...
My husband has that typical male trait of being able to just tune things out at will. If I was lucky enough to be able to do that, then there would be no problem. If only...
Yep, I agree with ESD completely. It is just a beach party, your first anniversary is more important, his family will understand.
And if you decide to go against your best instincts, I would say make a getaway plan. Avoid the most annoying of family members, find some that you can enjoy, but if they are all annoying, go to plan B: a booked room somewhere else romantic and leave when you want to and enjoy your time together.
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It's not on their anniversary, it's a week after.
I wasn't aware that men have a special ability to tune things out. In any case, your husband's ability to do that is not a reason that the two of you can't get your own place to stay. And if things start to get overwhelming, put your headphones on, listen to some music, and read a book.
This.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
Just because YOUR husband does this, doesn't mean that all men do this. This vacation does not sound like fun to me either, I either would stay in a hotel or not go at all. You do have options and choices, it seems as though you are CHOOSING not to have them in this situation.
First of all, you get a day for your anniversary, not a week (or two weeks). This vacation has nothing to do with your anniversary, and I'm not sure why you are bringing it up. Maybe you are looking for problems.
Have you done this weekend before? If you have and were miserable, then you should have brought that up when the vacation was being planned. "you know honey, I love your family, but I don't enjoy that beach reunion weekend. Do you want to go by yourself this year? Maybe I can take a day off to visit, but I don't want to burn a week of vacation time on a trip like this."
If you haven't - - try it for this year. Or shorten your visit by doing a long weekend (vs a week).
Make sure you have your own set of wheels so that you are not trapped. You'll really resent your H if he takes the car to go fishing (escaping for the day) and you're stuck with the screaming kids.
Take long walks on the beach. Wake up early, buy coffee, and drink it while watching the sunrise. Plan something that is not kid-friendly - a kayack ride, sailing - for you and your H. Bars and happy hour. During the day, you can escape to the beach. If the family has already gone, park your towel far away. If they haven't arrived yet, set up someplace where 'the gang" can't easily join you b/c it is too crowded.
Above all, don't get suckered into babysitting, or going out to dinner with the kids. Tell your H you're not interested. I have kids of my own, and even *I* don't go out to dinner with them (there are only 2, and they are relatively well behaved!). A group of kids at dinner = nightmare.
Don't see this as a male trait, DH and DS would be a lot more stressed than me under those conditions.
He's tuning you out. Your desires are not important to him.YHAHP.
I've vacationed many times with the ILs. I'm actually leaving for a vacation with them in 22 days.
The key is don't spend too much together time. Go off and do your own things. I recommend doing stuff alone at night. Believe me, by that point you'll need to get away from the madness.
Also establish "your" area of the beach house. That way you'll have an area to escape to should you get overwhelmed.
I would get a hotel if possible.
If not, I would set a schedule of when to spend time with them (maybe a whole day at the beach for one or two days only, and meet up for dinner only on some of the other days) and find some other things to do in the area. Then just head back to the house at night to get some sleep.
I would rent a hotel room and meet up at certain points of the trip. If that is too expensive, I like the tent idea.
Every few years, we have a week trip with my in-laws and if we shared a beach house with them, we wouldn't all make it out at the end of the trip.
Doesn't sound like much of one to me either. I would need a vacation after that vacation. How will that be even remotely relaxing?
Why isn't a hotel room an option?
That's three for self medication...
I'll add that MH and I spent a week driving through Ireland last year - it was my parents and five of us kid, so I can understand being in tight quarters with family members for an extended period of time. And we were all crammed into a small van for a good portion of that trip.
We had a lot of fun, but MH and I were EXTREMELY glad to have our own room at each of the hotels where we stayed. If we didn't have our own room every night, we would've gone berserk. There were quite a few times where we checked into the hotel and MH and I went to our room and shut the door, and immediately started a rant session about how annoyed we were.
ear plugs + wine, bring a tent or find a close by hotel.
What does it being a week after your anniversary have to do with anything?
tee hee
Nothing really. I just kind of threw that in there to show that we've only been married for a year, so I'm still not all that experienced with in-law situations.
Oh and the hotel thing...We're going to this island area that only has beach houses, so the nearest hotel would be a 30+ minute drive, which sounds ideal, but it would offend my MIL if we didn't stay at the house with everyone else.
But a lot of you have had some great suggestions. I downloaded this spa music album off itunes that I think will be perfect when I need to put on my ipod, get away from everyone, and just relax. That and a good book might get me through it.