Can I get a hell yes?

TexasHarmony · July 2011

04JaxBride:
my son has been tested and identified as "gifted". he still has to behave appropriately in public.

So when he was 3, did you never have any bad experiences with him? If he was always an angel, you and Jack are very lucky folks.

halfpintaggie · July 2011

TexasHarmony:

04JaxBride:
my son has been tested and identified as "gifted". he still has to behave appropriately in public.

So when he was 3, did you never have any bad experiences with him? If he was always an angel, you and Jack are very lucky folks.

Not lucky, just the best parents in the world (if you follow the logic of the original article).

Nanner · July 2011

04JaxBride:
my son has been tested and identified as "gifted". he still has to behave appropriately in public.

I don't think Febbride was saying that it is an excuse to misbehave. I believe she meant that perhaps that's why bpaullo has had trouble with him.

kreeper611 · July 2011

I think we're kinda missing the age thing here. I thought I read in the article that the author was talking about 6 year old kids.

There is a HUGE HUGE HUGE difference in what a 6yo can do and can comprehend and what a 1-2-3-4 yo can do and comprehend. If I were on a flight with a 6/7 yo kid who was jumping up and down and kicking my seat, you bet your a$$ I'd give the parents a look for not at least asking their kid to stop. I have a 10yo SB who I've known since age 7 - he would sure a heck understand when I say "stop." And he understoon consequences.

I would never in a million years expect the same thing from a youger child. What I expect from them is completely different. I personally loosen up a bit because they just don't get it.

savannah11 · July 2011

kreeper611:
I think we're kinda missing the age thing here. I thought I read in the article that the author was talking about 6 year old kids.
There is a HUGE HUGE HUGE difference in what a 6yo can do and can comprehend and what a 1-2-3-4 yo can do and comprehend. If I were on a flight with a 6/7 yo kid who was jumping up and down and kicking my seat, you bet your a$$ I'd give the parents a look for not at least asking their kid to stop. I have a 10yo SB who I've known since age 7 - he would sure a heck understand when I say "stop." And he understoon consequences.
I would never in a million years expect the same thing from a youger child. What I expect from them is completely different. I personally loosen up a bit because they just don't get it.

The article mentions a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and screaming infants on a plane. There was no distinguishing between younger and older kids' behavior.

lawmom2be · July 2011

04JaxBride:
my son has been tested and identified as "gifted". he still has to behave appropriately in public.

OMG. Seriously?! It's as if you did not comprehend that Febbride was trying to offer bpaullo support and possible insight into her challenges with her son. Kreeper said it best. You cannot POSSIBLY expect a 3 yr old to behave as a 5, 6, or 7 yr old. Doing so would be foolish and niave. I have never once met a toddler that always behaves perfectly in every public situation. I highly doubt your kid was the exception at that age.

(this is MGR btw...sorry for using my Bump SN)

kreeper611 · July 2011

savannah11:
kreeper611:

I think we're kinda missing the age thing here. I thought I read in the article that the author was talking about 6 year old kids.

There is a HUGE HUGE HUGE difference in what a 6yo can do and can comprehend and what a 1-2-3-4 yo can do and comprehend. If I were on a flight with a 6/7 yo kid who was jumping up and down and kicking my seat, you bet your a$$ I'd give the parents a look for not at least asking their kid to stop. I have a 10yo SB who I've known since age 7 - he would sure a heck understand when I say "stop." And he understoon consequences.

I would never in a million years expect the same thing from a youger child. What I expect from them is completely different. I personally loosen up a bit because they just don't get it.

The article mentions a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and screaming infants on a plane. There was no distinguishing between younger and older kids' behavior.

See...I skimmed. Two days ago. But, the point still remains that 3 and 6 are different. :-) I would expect different things.

mom2ll · July 2011

Febbride04:
lawmom2be:
bpaullo:

Wow! I'm usually not offended. However, as the parent of a very difficult child, I honestly am. I do not consider the grocery store to be an "adult establishment" and I would never dicipline my child for having a potty training accident. "The look" doesn't do anything for my oldest. In fact, we have yet to find anything that really works for him. He is very strong willed and we've tried everything, even professional help.

I find the following very offensive:

"And we know you don't discipline them at home because you don't possess "the look." If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say "sit down" a thousand times.

If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say much of anything at all. But this nonverbal cue needs to be introduced early and reinforced diligently with consequences for transgressions, just like potty training. And whenever a kid throws a temper tantrum in the middle of the shopping mall it's just as bad as his soiling his pants to spite his parents, and it stinks just as much."

Not all of us are blessed with easy going children. I know it's not my parenting. We have 2 kids. Once who is very easily diciplined and one who is not. One who is a perfect angel in public, and one who just isn't. We can't stay home forever, and I have to buy groceries. We don't have family here, so I have to take them to the store. It's just a reality.

Do I wish he were easily diciplined? Hell yes!

Brandi (this is MGR by the way)....you know I say this to you all the time, and I mean it. Luca is a genius, plain and simple. It's as if his brain is working much faster than his body most of the time. He is so inventive and creative. I just LOVE watching him and seeing what he'll come up with. It truly is a gift he has. He is also extremely determined. You try very hard to keep him grounded and controlled. I see it all the time. But, you sometimes you can't tame a spirit like his. He is an incredible little boy and I can't wait to watch him grow up and see what he does with all of that inquisitiveness and creativity!!!

Have you had him tested for giftedness (and, I mean true giftedness, not just the stuff they do at school to see if a child is academically "gifted")? My sister's kids both had/have behavior issues due to being gifted. People sometimes don't understand that gifted behavior is a whole spectrum and group of behaviors, not having a high IQ or being an overachiever or whatever. Your son's behavior may be a sign of giftedness.

We have had lots of intervention from various professionals. I don't want to get into specifics.

My point is that it's super easy to judge a parent in a split second for a kids behaviour when someone has NO idea what is going on at home. My kid does stuff to get a reaction. Sometimes lack of reaction is a dicipline on it's own.

houstonkdw · July 2011

bpaullo:
Febbride04:
lawmom2be:
bpaullo:

Wow! I'm usually not offended. However, as the parent of a very difficult child, I honestly am. I do not consider the grocery store to be an "adult establishment" and I would never dicipline my child for having a potty training accident. "The look" doesn't do anything for my oldest. In fact, we have yet to find anything that really works for him. He is very strong willed and we've tried everything, even professional help.

I find the following very offensive:

"And we know you don't discipline them at home because you don't possess "the look." If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say "sit down" a thousand times.

If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say much of anything at all. But this nonverbal cue needs to be introduced early and reinforced diligently with consequences for transgressions, just like potty training. And whenever a kid throws a temper tantrum in the middle of the shopping mall it's just as bad as his soiling his pants to spite his parents, and it stinks just as much."

Not all of us are blessed with easy going children. I know it's not my parenting. We have 2 kids. Once who is very easily diciplined and one who is not. One who is a perfect angel in public, and one who just isn't. We can't stay home forever, and I have to buy groceries. We don't have family here, so I have to take them to the store. It's just a reality.

Do I wish he were easily diciplined? Hell yes!

Brandi (this is MGR by the way)....you know I say this to you all the time, and I mean it. Luca is a genius, plain and simple. It's as if his brain is working much faster than his body most of the time. He is so inventive and creative. I just LOVE watching him and seeing what he'll come up with. It truly is a gift he has. He is also extremely determined. You try very hard to keep him grounded and controlled. I see it all the time. But, you sometimes you can't tame a spirit like his. He is an incredible little boy and I can't wait to watch him grow up and see what he does with all of that inquisitiveness and creativity!!!

Have you had him tested for giftedness (and, I mean true giftedness, not just the stuff they do at school to see if a child is academically "gifted")? My sister's kids both had/have behavior issues due to being gifted. People sometimes don't understand that gifted behavior is a whole spectrum and group of behaviors, not having a high IQ or being an overachiever or whatever. Your son's behavior may be a sign of giftedness.

We have had lots of intervention from various professionals. I don't want to get into specifics.

My point is that it's super easy to judge a parent in a split second for a kids behaviour when someone has NO idea what is going on at home. My kid does stuff to get a reaction. Sometimes lack of reaction is a dicipline on it's own.

Isolate and ignore. That is what we had to do for Kohen when he was younger. He wanted me to get upset. He wanted a time out or spanking. Strange I know but even negative attention was attention in his book. Now that he is older and can comprehend more, with the help of professionals and medication we are getting him where he needs to be at age 5. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise

Can I get a hell yes?

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