Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: I'm slowly losing everything....vent
You can't take care of other people if you're not taking care of yourself first. Period. Full stop.
I agree with you in the sense of compassion and loyalty to your duties as his daughter. But and this is a BIG but....You have to consider the fact that he is NOT competent enough to make further decisions towords his welfare. If you are his POA and you are reaching out the the appropriate agencies like Elder Care, Hospice, Yes I know...State Agencies and are assigned a caseworker who will advocate on his and your behalf then the circumstance of this burden can be different.
I have a Mother who is EXTREMELY dependent in every aspect. I love her so much it hurts (you can relate) however, the time came when I had no choice but to change how I reacted in my role for her because ultimtaley it wasnt just the best thing for me... It was the best thing for her.
If you are his POA even if he becomes Ward of the State you can still have a voice for him and get your life back. You deserve to be happy in life.
Hope it works out for you
Also, if you really mistrust your aunt, I suggest you talk to your dad's social worker about how to protect his assets. Make sure you keep a copy of all his records yourself, partly for his protection, partly for yours (who knows what accusations she could make).
This, it isn't fair that you should lose everything you have worked for and have to rebuild your life. He's being selfish, and most likely he's scared of what his future holds.
It isn't easy, my dad had a stroke in December and it took my sister and I a lot of searching but we found the right place for him with the therapy he needs. We didn't let it drop until they accepted him. My sister called them every day.
I live 700 miles away and have a DH and a career, I get home as much as I can to see Dad and I call to check on his progress. I know my dad wouldn't want me to lose those things, and I refuse to feel guilty for living my own life. You should not either.
And yet neither of you can see that you are now doing the same thing? I agree with the others. Call the social worker and tell her that you can no longer care for him and have to go back home or lose your job, health and life. let the state take over and force him into a home. It's in his and your best interest! GL and do NOT feel guilty! You have done absolutely all you can to help him, but now it's time to help yourself. ((hugs))