Do you call your in-laws mom and dad?

Noralie · July 2011

No, that would be weird. I call MIL by her first name.

Mrslp06 · July 2011

I don't call them anything. I feel the same as some others. I have parents and just can't call anyone else mom and dad.

Fil has asked me to call him dad but his own kids don't even call him dad why would I...

SCM1011 · July 2011

Yes, I call them Mom & Dad. I also call his grandmother Grandma.

Flamingo Stalker · July 2011

I call MIL her first name, but she always signs emails/cards as "NJ Mom"

FIL passed away last year, but I tried to avoid calling him anything . . . see below.

* * *

When I first met ILs, they asked to be called:

MIL - first name

FIL - Mr. last name

Yeah, that was weird.

stumpy · July 2011

Everybody is different. There are married couples who call themselves mom and dad. (I think that is weird, but if it works for them and shouldn't judge)

raangoli · July 2011

I answered no, but I try to avoid calling her anything. I have no idea what to call her. Given the culture I was raised in, I should call her "mom" or something like that, but it's strange to me. So for the time being, I avoid calling her anything.

MH does the same with my parents too though. We're both trying to figure this out.

Hamster0601 · July 2011

behapy2day:
I avoid calling my in laws anything like the plague. I know they would love for me to call them Mom and Dad, and it would mean a lot to DH for me to call them that, but it just seems weird to me.
I normally refer to them as (DH's name)'s mom/dad. I don't think I have directly called them anything since we got married, lol.

I actually do the same thing.

Catalina17 · July 2011

uppereastgirl:

I try to avoid calling them anything at all. No way to mom and dad, Mr. & Mrs. [ ] is too stiff, but their first names seem too casual (particularly because they're of an older generation than my mom and dad).

My parents call/ed each others' parents mom and dad, and I think that's nice, but I just don't see that ever happening with us.

This is me exactly. I feel so weird called them Mr/Mrs, but I do and they've never corrected me. I'd never do mom/dad with them though. I was hoping they'd correct me to first names but they haven't. They sign cards to me as their first names, so I'm wondering if that kind of opens the door for me to address them like that???

When my parents were together, they each called their ILs mom and dad.

DH does not call my mom 'mom', although she totally wouldn't mind if he did.

rikki311 · July 2011

I call my father-in-law Senor Nelson and my mother-in-law Mamina (little mom). They live in another country (that places more of an emphasis on formally respecting elders) and are older than my parents. I am very close to both of them, but could never see myself calling my FIL anything other than Senor Nelson. My MIL is like a second mom, however, I would never call her Mami (as my husband does), but Mamina works.

Little Spitfire · July 2011

They want me to, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Part of it is that I've been estranged from my parents for so long, it feels weird to call anyone mom or dad.

champagna · July 2011

I call my MIL grandma. lol. I don?t call stepmother in law anything, which is weird, I know.

I do call my FIL dad. But, I resisted for a very long time because I felt that, I already have/had a dad (he?s deceased) and my FIL is not my dad. FIL really wanted me to call him dad though and it hurt his feelings that I didn?t. At one point, MH told me that it hurt his dad?s feelings because he truly loves me like a daughter and considers me a daughter, not just a daughter in law. After that, I figured I?d just call him dad, because it?s true, he really loves me a lot. It was kind of weird at first to call him dad, but it?s not a big deal anymore. I didn?t even call my own father, dad, so that makes it a little less weird for me.

I?m lol a little bit at OP?s friend who was ?appalled.? There are much bigger things in life to be appalled over. =/

Dr.Loretta · July 2011

If that's what you're comfortable with, I don't understand why other people would be appalled.

I call MIL by her first name.

busybodyk · July 2011

I don't think its weird. Its not something I'm comfortable doing and I haven't been asked to (thank God), so I don't. I have a good relationship with my ILs but I don't consider us close. If we were close I might feel differently about calling them mom and dad. My DH calls my mom "Mom" but he calls everyone's mom that. He's weird like that...

Rachael07.07.07 · July 2011

Yes. MIL and I also have nicknames for each other and if for some reason I don't use mom or her nickname, I just use first names. I am incredibly fortunate to have wonderful ILs and am super close them both.

I think it depends on how close of a relationship you have - it's entirely situational. I guess I don't understand why people get so bent out of shape if you do so. I am a LOT closer to my in-laws than I am my dad and step-mom, as much as that pains me. I also just say sister and brother for my SIL and BIL and they do the same in regards to me. I guess for some reason it bothers me when people sort of imply that there is something weird about it. It's a title used between two people and isn't meant to be the same all across the board. It doesn't mean that I love my parents any less either. Oh well :::shrugs:::

chardonnay24 · July 2011

No, but they refer to themselves as Mom and Dad to me. I got a bouquet of flowers for Mother's Day with a note that said, "Happy First Mother's Day, Love Mom and Dad". I called my parents to thank them and they were all, "Um...we didn't send you flowers". I don't particularly care for them so every time they refer to themselves as my mom and dad, I want to stomp my feet and yell, "YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY". But I refrain.

annetteh72 · July 2011

mrs.spunky1508:
I voted yes but I am truly a special snowflake. When speaking to them directly, in person or on the phone, I call them mom and dad. I would have answered the phone just how you did. When referring to them, however, I say "(DH's name)'s mom" or "(DH's name)'s dad", or whatever. DH does the same with my parents.

This and I don't do it around my mom and dad, I think it would hurt their feelings. Hope it doesn't bother SIL. I do feel very close to them. DH doesn't call my mom and dad, well mom and dad. He's not as close to them.

kayt111 · July 2011

Sometimes, especially when all us kids (DH, BIL, BIL's wife and me) are together. Like, "WTF is Dad doing to that asparagus?" But I usually call them/refer to them by their first names.

Dr.Bean · July 2011

As soon as we announced our engagement, my dear MIL said "now you can call me Mom!" I adore her, but no. So, like pp's, I avoid calling her anything. When FIL was still alive, if he answered the phone, I would ask, "Is your lovely bride available?" or something like that, and he would say, "Oh lovely bride, the phone is for you." It seems if I refer to her in ways like that, I "get away with" it, while flattering her at the same time. dH's other sib's spouse do call her Mom though.

scarlettoctober · July 2011

MIL tried to force me into calling her Mom, but I call her by her first name.

uncharch7 · July 2011

no. they didn't give birth to me or raise me, so they're not my mom and dad.

Sxia · July 2011

I don't call them Mom and Dad because 1 they're not my parents and 2 I don't know them well enough. I had started calling my ex's parents Mom and Dad because they were like second parents to me. I dated the ex bf from age 14-21 and we spent a lot of time at each other's houses. So, his folks were like second parents to me.

DH's folks (split up and remarried to other people) I think I've spent a total of a month together if you add up the days over 9 years of being together. And MIL's husband? Nope. That's all he is. MIL's husband.

kayleifitz · July 2011

When we were dating I avoided directly addressing them because I didn't know what to call them. I tried to take cues from other married in siblings, but they range from Mom/Dad to first names to made up nicknames. When we got married I started calling them mom and dad. They are amazing and have treated me like one of their own children from the day H and I met. Though I don't have the long history with them like I do with my own parents, the relationship is much the same. They love, care for, and support me just like my own parents.

lmb5109 · July 2011

I do, DH's siblings spouses do so I followed suit. DH doesn't called my parents mom & dad.

sarahlindsay · July 2011

No - I call them by their names, which are Pat and Trudy.

MAMAxB · July 2011

I love my ILs.. but don't call them mom and dad. I call them by their first names

Do you call your in-laws mom and dad?

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