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Anyone elope or have a super small wedding and regret it?
Looking for some opinions. Did anyone have elope or have a small wedding and then regret it? I was orginally planning on having around 120 people, with the church ceremony, dinner, DJ, open bar, etc. But then I thought about it and this is not me and my FI at all. I am now thinking having a small wedding, with around 50-60 people instead. We'd still have a meal, possibly lunch at a nice restaurant. And we'd still have a small ceremony, but would forgo DJ, dancing, bridesmaids/groomsmen, etc. I'm just afraid I will regret this decision. To make it MM, we'd only lose about $500, but would save well over $5,000.
Re: Anyone elope or have a super small wedding and regret it?
i had a destination wedding with 47 guests. while i was sad that there were family and friends that i would have liked to have in attendance, i would not do it another way. we had a wedding that was us and about us. and we saved a boatload of money. it was the best decision we made.
if it is what you want, i say go for it. and as for the DJ, etc. we had an ipod reception on the resort and had the time of our lives. we had an entire area to ourselves and no one cared that there was no DJ. we also had a friend start the music for all the "special" dances.
H and I found ourselves in the same position in the midst of wedding planning - the event that was coming together wasn't "us" at all. We went ahead with it, because it caused the least amount of hurt feelings. We couldn't pare down the guest list without causing problems, short of eliminating everyone and eloping.
In the end, our wedding was a means to an end. We threw a party to make other people happy and we got the legal side of our union out of the way. It's sad, but that's honestly how we look back on that day. It was a beautiful wedding and all, but it wasn't us. We both regret not working harder to find a compromise.
I had a small beach wedding and I loved it. We had about 30 guests-very close friends and family. We didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen but we did have a ring bearer and flower girl. It was very nice and everyone loved it. We had a meal and cake and everything. There was no DJ or dancing for guests. We had our first dance on the beach and we also had a wonderful photographer. We originally decided to have a bigger wedding with a huge reception but we decided that we didn't want to put a lot of money into the wedding, rather have more money to start our lives out together. We love the decision that we made and wouldn't change anything.
I had a large wedding (150) because that's what Mommy dearest wanted, and she was paying, and i hated every minute. I haven't even ordered the pictures. I know that makes me a brat, but I tried endlessly to tell her what I really wanted.
So, if you KNOW what you want, and can do it, do it.
Married August 2009
3 years. 5 losses.
Our rainbow baby boy born 11.16.15
50-60 people is "super small"? Wow, our wedding must not have even been a real wedding then, b/c it was just DH and I, DSS, my parents, and two other friends. That's right, 7 people (one of them a 4-year-old) including the bride and groom.
Sometimes I wish we would have had a bigger wedding, but our "big" wedding would have been ~50 people.
We had a very traditional wedding and while it had a lot of personal touches, it wasn't intimate and almost seemed more like a show than anything else. Too many pieces to plan and too much going into making everything nice for the guests, and not enough emphasis on who we really are as a couple or as individuals.
I think if you want a smaller wedding, go for it. We only had around 90 people at ours so it wasn't exactly big, but it had all the fixings of a big wedding.
i had a super small (30 people) wedding and while i did go through a phase afterwards of wondering what a big wedding would have been like (you know, when all my friends were getting married and having big to-dos), i am still glad we went small. it was intimate and when hosting an event, i really hate having to host a large extravagent party -> too stressful. i'm not sure i would have enjoyed doing that, so i am happy we did it the way we did.
we didn't really save money doing it this way though b/c we had a DW and felt it was only fair for us to flip the bill for the immediate family (we really wanted them there).
We had a destination wedding with 13 guests.
When we returned we had an evening (ie. after dinner) reception at a community hall with 55 guests. (no OOT invites, just our friends)
No regrets.
I had a pretty big wedding - what most people would call a "traditional" one. Got divorced. I decided next time around (if there is one), I want to get married somewhere tropical, on the beach (good thing that's exactly what my boyfriend wants too!). The first wedding was nice, but I realized too much went into it - too much time, energy, money, etc. That's not what a marriage is about. Something simple will be much more meaningful to me.
But then, everyone's different. Do what will make the two of you happy.
We had a planned elopement because I was terrified of being the center of attention. I still don't regret eloping, but I regret the way we did it. I wish we had invited immediate family and close friends. I wish I had worn a nicer dress, had flowers, gotten my hair and nails done, etc. We pretty much showed up at the courthouse, then had Chinese in our hotel room while watching the Obama/McCain debate.
I had a small destination wedding (for me, "small" was immediate family only, that is 12 people including us), and I loved it.
My MIL eloped, and now that her parents have passed away, she has mentioned several times that she regrets not having them present at her wedding.
I had 17 people at my wedding.
Not a single regret.
We eloped. (Only guests were the officiant and photographer.)
It was perfect. I've never regretted it at all.
We did a DW wedding in the OBX.. got married in a church had a reception at the rental house on the lawn under a tent, cocktail hour by the pool. FULL sit down served meal (chicken or fish), beer/wine, music, dancing etc... We invited everyone we would have invited to a wedding in NJ which was about 180 people. We had 52 guests.
Our wedding costs us a little over 10K and we paid for everything ourselves. We even had a big Welcome dinner, gift bags etc. In NJ, that would have costs up about 4 times that much and we would have had a HUGE guestlist.
I don't regret it in the least. Best decision we ever made and everyone RAVED about it.
We had about 45 people. We were paying for it ourselves, so we wanted it to still be nice, so we cut back the guest list. We went with a very nice catering menu (bc it was one of our top 3 things), a dj, modest flowers, 3 BM/GM each. It was $10k, including my dress, tux, flowers, music ceremony/reception, catering, full premium open bar, invites, favors etc. I love how small it was, because we really got to have fun with everyone. SOmetimes I think it was crazy to spend $10K on 1 day, but I know ppl spend more, and it was special, and nice, and I wouldn't change a thing!
If it had been larger, the venue and food would not have been nearly as good, and I'd rather have the quality over the quantity.
No regrets. DH, me, my parents, his parents. City Hall. Friday afternoon. Perfect.
There are two moments that give me the warm fuzzies every time I think of them:
-going through the metal detectors to get into City Hall, I put my bouquet on the belt to go through the x-ray machine. The security guard picked it up and handed it back to me before it went through and said, "Some things are sacred."
-after we got married we (just DH and I) got in the elevator to go downstairs. There was a guy already in there and he said, "I've been married 7 years. Each day is better than the last."
I had a really small wedding without a traditional reception (we just ate desert at a restaurant with our families). We did have bridesmaids/groomsman because we originally planned a big wedding and refused to un-ask anyone. There were about 50 guests at our beach ceremony (plus the random people at the beach that evening, who all cheered for us!) and about 20 at our small desert reception. I don't regret it at all.
In fact, most of my friends and family all regret having big weddings and wish they had really small ones or eloped.
You have made me feel better. I think I will change my plans and have a small ceremony for just our parents and sibilings on an earlier date, and then do a casual party with dinner the day we have the hall and catering reserved for. Would this be odd?
We got married on the courthouse steps by the JP. My sister and 2 friends were there. Afterwards we had lunch at a cute local place.
I do not regret it at all....at the end of the day I said I do to the love of my life, my sister was there and we used the 'wedding' money as the down payment for our house