Grandmother in-law issues, fun times. Long, long.

Rin731 · August 2011

Sue_sue:
if you really feel like you have to continue to speak with her, and I don't see why you should, start acting deliberately obtuse. Treat her like you would an old lady with dementia. Speak veeeeeeeerrrrryyyyy slowly and VERY LOUDLY to her, like you think she can't hear or understand well. Example:

Grandma: "You should get a job, you."

You: "OH GRANDMA. DON"T YOU REMEMBER? I HAVE A JOB. I HELP A COMPANY KEEP TRACK OF THEIR MONEY. THEY CALL ME AN ACCOUNTANT. " Nod vigorously while you talk to her, and have a vacuous 'helpmeshedoesnotknowwhoIam" smile on your face while you do this. Then when she starts to speak again, interrupt and say "IT"S OK GRANDMA. I KNOW YOU DON"T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND THINGS BUT WE STILL LOVE YOU". Pat her arm unctuously. When she starts to speak again, interrupt and say to the person next to you, in a false, loud whisper, "I THINK I SHOULD LEAVE, SHE"S GETTING UPSET AGAIN" then turn to Grandma and say "GRANDMA I"M GOING TO THE KITCHEN NOW. I"LL COME BACK LATER WHEN YOU"RE FEELING BETTER". Walk away, shaking your head and looking sadly understanding of her mental frailties.

Wash, rinse, repeat. The old bat will eventually leave you the hell alone.

Hahahhahahhhaa. Big Smile Yes

Sue_sue · August 2011

livinitup:
Sue_sue:

if you really feel like you have to continue to speak with her, and I don't see why you should, start acting deliberately obtuse. Treat her like you would an old lady with dementia. Speak veeeeeeeerrrrryyyyy slowly and VERY LOUDLY to her, like you think she can't hear or understand well. Example:

Grandma: "You should get a job, you."

You: "OH GRANDMA. DON"T YOU REMEMBER? I HAVE A JOB. I HELP A COMPANY KEEP TRACK OF THEIR MONEY. THEY CALL ME AN ACCOUNTANT. " Nod vigorously while you talk to her, and have a vacuous 'helpmeshedoesnotknowwhoIam" smile on your face while you do this. Then when she starts to speak again, interrupt and say "IT"S OK GRANDMA. I KNOW YOU DON"T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND THINGS BUT WE STILL LOVE YOU". Pat her arm unctuously. When she starts to speak again, interrupt and say to the person next to you, in a false, loud whisper, "I THINK I SHOULD LEAVE, SHE"S GETTING UPSET AGAIN" then turn to Grandma and say "GRANDMA I"M GOING TO THE KITCHEN NOW. I"LL COME BACK LATER WHEN YOU"RE FEELING BETTER". Walk away, shaking your head and looking sadly understanding of her mental frailties.

Wash, rinse, repeat. The old bat will eventually leave you the hell alone.

Oh this is goooooood, good stuff Sue_sue. Very good. Well done.

I am a vicious person and fight very dirty. Dirtily? Unfairly.

Comet4658 · August 2011

I agree with several pp there are several options, laugh at her, be super condescending/ sarcastic at every one of her mean comments so she stops, ignore her, or just answer every question she has with "none of your business:. That could be fun, did you get a job- none of your business. Why don't you get porch furniture- none of your business. Then she'll stop asking questions, and you won't talk to her so no more interaction. Or a combination of several of these strategies, and get your DH on board as well. He can talk to his family/ grandma but grandma might play dumb with that as well.

abama · August 2011

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PLEASE STOP SPAMMING THE BOARDS

summerchild19 · August 2011

nigelava, first of all ur GIL makes me wanna scream... Ive been on that road years ago I know how hard it feels to fit in let alone be accepted. Dont let her wickedness get into you and your family. I know everyone said just ignore her but if God decided to give her a second life then what u gonna do? you're lucky you dont live under the same roof cause I did for 8 years and oh boy it was just not healthy. Finally I took the courage to tell my husband about my situation and of course he had to look @ both sides of the road. We finally moved to a different state and so she did too. My relationship with her now is a lot better than it was. My point is your H has to be there for you when you dont feel like being around her. Just a reminder your'e pregnant and stress is the last thing you want. Get your H involved!!! I hope you have a pleasant pregnancy!

ccollins90 · August 2011

I have an issue with my husbands GIL as well. Whenever I have to deal wit her I just keep it concise and to the point. Don't let her rattle you and she'll leave you be. Treat her like you would a small child who is craving attention. She'll get annoyed and eventually decide its boring to provoke you. At least thats how I deal with my GIL. And when you do have to deal with her make sure someones around for you to brush her off onto. (And congrats on your baby!)

mels123 · August 2011

Is your relationship with your MIL close enough or at least friendly enough that you could bring it up to her? As in, "Hey Nancy, I need to ask you for some advice/help. I've been standing on my head trying to make GIL happy for years now, and all I get back in return are painful comments and disapproval from her. Could you have a word with her about all of this before the baby comes? I'd really like for her to be a part of her great-grandbaby's life, but I can't and won't have such a negative person around my child." Maybe MIL will be able to go to bat for you and tell her mom to cut the crap, or she'll tell you GIL is just a nasty, cranky old lady who is never going to change. In fact, I would put good money on the fact that before you came along this behavior was probably directed at other members of the family, so, for better or worse, they've either gotten used to it or learned how to ignore it.

If that route doesn't work, I'd say limit your contact to the one or two required family meals a year. Other than that don't contact her, and if she tells you she's coming over tell her that you and your husband already have plans that evening. Then make sure you're out of the house (hello good excuse for a date night!) so even if she does show up no one is home. Then, during those two dinners you have to suffer through a year, if she acts up do yourself a favor and be blunt. What do you have to lose? Especially if H, MIL, etc are all aware of the situation.

I can't believe you've put up with it this long and not lost your cool. I probably would've told this woman where to she could shove her attitude a long time ago. I applaud you for your patience and restraint. Good luck!

ashleybrowder · August 2011

this should be how you respond. also, husband needs to man up and tell the little old broad to shut her damn trap (my dh had to tell his mom and dad both to stop trying to bully me around because they're very passive aggressive and rude in the same way).

Grandmother in-law issues, fun times. Long, long.

Re: Grandmother in-law issues, fun times. Long, long.

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