Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Husband having mom problems
you're putting yourself in that position by answering her calls/talking to her etc... it's for him to do and decide. stay out of it. you cannot bring them together or magically fix wrongs (which is what I feel you're trying to do).
what you can do is lay it on the line for dh 'Dh i know you dont want a relationship with her. i will not answer her calls and will leave it up to you to decide what to do with her'.
she's HIS mother. for whatever reason she made a very bad choice to leave. while i agree with you that she may want a 2nd chance it's up to your DH to give it-not you. coming from a home where my father left me and mom to go be with his girlfriend i can understand. you cannot. let him decide.
That was UNBELIEVABLY inappropriate. How dare you presume that you know my family life? For your information my father was an alcoholic and a crack/heroin/cocaine/you name it addict. He abandoned me for beer, drugs, and a wet hole. He also refused to attend my wedding at the absolute last minute because his wet hole doesn't like me. He physically and emotionally abused my mother as well as myself, so I think I can fuucking understand. That was painfully ignorant of you. Before that little gem you seemed to actually have something constructive to say.
I completely regret coming over to The Nest. Only about 3 people actually had something polite and constructive to advise, the rest of you were just plain rude for absolutely no reason. I think I've had my fill of The Nest, I feel sorry for all the newly wed women coming from TK thinking that people are decent over here. Sorry to the minority, who were very nice and tried to help as opposed to get shiitty comments in.
This is well said. Your husband now comes first...not you wanting to be liked, Yes he's confused, BUT you need to let him feel it out on his own. The only thing you can do is listen and follow his lead, just plain ol be supportive.This way if he wants her in his life you're safe, if he doesn't your safe. He needs you.
Wait---she's saying "I've been where you are." If you can't see the empathy there, I definitely recommend counseling. My best to you.
I don't usually post responses, I just enjoy reading what people have to say. But I wanted to say something.
The other poster said she understands where your DH is coming from, not from where you are coming from. She was showing empathy - which you clearly do not understand.
I understand you got mad over the "you cannot" understand part but seriously, your situation is vastly different from your DH so don't even try to compare them. You had a shitty life...get over it. Don't take your anger out on people TRYING TO HELP YOU. Lots of us have come from difficult life paths, so get off your high horse and start thanking people for their advice instead of being a brat with a chip on her shoulder.
Just to warn, I probably won't respond to anything you say. Just wanted to put my two cents in.
Wow, lots of hostility here, lol.
Can you just sit down and really talk this out with your hubby. Tell him you are confused, getting mixed message, and you just want to have his back 100% and whatever he choses to do, you will back. It does sound like he is hiding his feelings, so I would try and get him to open up a bit more. Might be a good therapy/bonding session for you both.
Good luck! It sounds like a tough situation!