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It's over.
Lets cut to the chase.
My marriage is officially over. I never thought I would ever say this. I definitely never thought I would say it after three years. Instead of a fairy tale ending I got served divorced papers from my husband. We have had our fair share of problems in the last few years. Yes, we had some problems before our wedding but we both felt like our relationship was strong enough to battle past that. I guess our marriage counseling didn't resolve all of our petty issues beforehand. Or so I thought they were petty.
I have to admit that I used to be a regular. I have slowed my posting quite a bit in the last six months or so. I feel like everyone here has such perfect marriages. In my real life experience no one had so many puppies and so many rainbows in their marriages. Sometimes I feel like there is an abnormal level of happiness and success. One might attribute this to the extreme struggle I am having in my own marriage.
I think I hung on to every once of hope and every bit of positive that my husband and I have had in our relationship. When I dig down deep in my soul I really think I have seen this coming for years actually.
In all honesty I feel like such a failure, especially compared to all of you. I wish you all the best. I am sorry to be such a debbie downer. I hope to return to the boards once I feel comfortable talking more about this.
Re: It's over.
I'm so sorry to hear that your marriage is over, I cant even imagine the pain you must be going through.
I will be the first to admit that my marriage is far from perfect and I would guess that most of the other girls here will say the same thing.
I hope that you will come back soon and chat with us when you feel comfortable and I wish you the best of luck with everything.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially since it seems still somewhat out of the blue to you.
Please take care of yourself and do what you need to do for yourself.
Please also know that not all the marriages on here are all puppies and rainbows, and don't ever feel like a failure or try to compare your real life with what gets shared on the internet by one side of other marriages. I'm guessing there are a lot of peole who, like me, when they don't have anything to add to the "I love my H so much all the time" posts, just stay quiet.
I hope to see you again over here, when you're ready.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any words of advice, but please take care of your self. Thoughts, prayers, and healing are sent your way.
And to echo previous posts, I know I personally mostly only post the good stuff.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. While I am going to echo everyone else and say not to feel like a failure, I believe I would probably feel the same way.
As for the marriages on here being perfect, I for one keep a lot of the other side to myself, not because I don't trust the girls here who post, but because I don't know who is here and not posting.
Do you have a child/children?
I am also very sorry to hear about what you are going through. Many thoughts and prayers coming your way during this difficult time.
I also do not have a perfect marriage and rarely put negative information on here for the same reason Lisa stated, I don't know who is here and not posting.
Big hugs!
Absolutely all of this. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this
I completely understand your wanting to take a break from the board, but hope that you feel comfortable enough to come back at some point!
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I am so sorry that your marriage has come to an end. I don't think everyone's marriages are all puppies and rainbows but most likely people just hate talking about the negative stuff. My DH and I argue quite a bit, but luckily we argue it out and can move on. I think every marriage is a struggle. You tried your best and went to counseling. Sometimes people change and just aren't meant to be together. I wish you the best through this hard time!
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
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Exactly everything Jill posted!
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I rarely post anymore, mostly bc of time, but I just wanted to echo the other ladies. I rarely, if ever, post about the negative. But trust me, there is plenty. Please do not feel like a failure.
Please do come back.
Word.
m/c 7/17/10
Dx: MFI- 3% morph
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Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
I am so sorry. Please don't feel like a failure-you aren't. Sometimes, things just don't work out like we think they should or we want them to. It doesn't make the heartbreak hurt any less, but it is not a reflection on YOU.
Like PP, I think we are all pretty candid and honest about a lot of things on this board, but we don't often talk about the problems in our marriages-maybe that's just TOO personal. But-we all have them. And you are not the first June 08 Nestie going through this and likely won't be the last. I believe that we are a community of friends first, despite the thing that brought us together, and I'd like to think we can continue to be that, and be supportive, of you and others who have experienced/are experiencing such a tough time.
Let us know if we can do anything for you, seriously.
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
I am so sorry to hear this. To echo everyone else - I think anyone who claims to have a perfect marriage is full of crap. Can people have largely happy marriages, sure! But there are always things people work on or grapple with.
Also, I couldn't agree w/ Cassidy more. Despite the fact that we're all "June 2008" brides, we've all also become friends regardless of how we met, so I hate to think that you feel as though you can't be here or whatever. Not the case.
So sorry to hear this. I hope you are able to heal and get the closure that you need to move on.
I wish you wouldn't feel you are a failure compared to us. I speak for myself when I say they are times that I'm unbelievable mad at DH or hurt (emotionally) by him, but I'm just not the type to put it out there on the Internet. I fully believe that no marriage is perfect, every couple have things they need to work on, etc.
I hope you come back when you are ready.
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I totally agree with naylon and Cassidy. I hope you can start to feel acceptance and closure, and eventually feel comfortable with coming back around. I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time... t&p to you.
I'm sorry that your marriage didn't work out, and I'm also really sorry that you felt like you had to post this anonymously. There should not be feelings of failure, and no shame involved--these things happen. People change, and grow apart.
Like others have said, there are very few "perfect" marriages. My husband and I like to keep a lot of our lives private (I would even describe my H as "intensely private"), so I do not post a lot about our marriage--good OR bad. I'm not the kind to get all mushy OR vent on my blog or on the boards. The only person I really talk to about my marriage, outside of my H, of course, is my mom, and even that is rare.
I hope that you feel free to come back and speak openly about what you're going through, and participate on the boards. I think that there are others who could most certainly relate to what you're going through, even without necessarily being divorced themselves. I wish you the best, and hope that you will take time to heal. It's like any other loss--it'll just take time.
(((((((hugs)))))))
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I'm just chiming in but everyone has already expressed my opinions beautifully.
1) First and foremost, I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I hope you realize your efforts at improving your marriage were not totally in vain, because I'm sure you've grown and come to know yourself more.
2) We are a group of women who are friends and a support network. We may have met because of our wedding month, but that doesn't mean we stop being friends when you're not married. You need friends and a support network right now, so please don't feel like an outcast. Please talk to us.
3) Nobody has perfect marriage. Period.
Yes, this.
Ditto all of this. I tend to be the "intensely private" one of my marriage. I rarely talk to even my best friends about issues they dh and I might have. And, as everyone else has said, we do fight and we do have issues.
I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope the very best for your future. I also hope that you are able to come back once your are comfortable. I don't think anyone on this board is going to think any less of you. These things happen. I know we would all love to be a support system for you during this tough time.
This exactly. I am really sorry you are going through this.
I agree too. I'm sorry that you are going through this and hope that you know you can always find support here (((hugs)))
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FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
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All the other ladies have said everything I could possibly say.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this and please know that we are here for you.