International Nesties
dulcemariamar1
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How soon did you know...
that you wanted to marry your DH?
I was reading about all of these quickie Hollywood weddings that are taking place and I was just wondering if you knew more or less right away that you wanted to marry your DH.
On the one hand, I think it sounds kinda romantic when people meet and get marry within a couple of months because they know they have found the one. But then the logical side of me, thinks that you should really know a person for a long time before you say I do.
What do you think? And when did you know that you wanted to marry your DH?
Re: How soon did you know...
I thought about it right away when we started dating (we were friends for a long time before that). In fact, about 3 months into our relationship we went ice skating and H (trying to impress me) pulled a move and ended up breaking his left ring finger and my first thought was, "I hope a wedding ring still fits on it!"
I really KNEW though, when we faced our first major challenge. We were together about a year and a half and his mom passed away. We ended up getting custody of his 14 year old sister for 3 years (we were 22) and relocating from Boston to Philly to not uproot her life. The way we banded together through that time made me realize we were both in it for the long haul, and if we could make it through that together we could make it through anything.
Now jumping domestically.
Well that was a crazy couple of years.
Now jumping domestically.
Well that was a crazy couple of years.
When I was informed by a border agent in Switzerland that I could not return unless I had a new visa. I was going to London with my then boyfriend for the weekend.
I overstayed my au pair visa because I was having too much fun in Switzerland with my new boyfriend. I had taken on a new job and was hoping to go under the radar like so many au pairs do, but I was caught.
We had a stressful flight to the UK talking about options. We stayed up all night searching the internet for visa options, talking to his parents and my employers (they would have gotten me a visa but I started the job while I was still in Switz and I needed to be out of the country to have the visa, also they were British living in Switzerland, making it more difficult). Eventually we fell asleep and I woke up around 5 to find my boyfriend awake and crying, upset that he thought this was going to be the end of our relationship because I would need to move back.
We decided then it wasn't worth it to end our relationship. We knew that getting married would be an easy way for me to have my visa and we could stay together, so that's what we did.
It's not a traditional reason, but we've been happily married for 2 years now!
I knew pretty immediately. That said, I wouldn't have married him any sooner than I did (about 3.5 years after we started dating).
I think everyone's different. My parents married soon after they started dating and they're still happy as clams. My h's parents married after they had dated for a long time and they're happy. I don't think knowing the person for a long time matters as much as being able to change as a person and as a team once the commitment is made. I don't know if that makes sense.
I knew within 6 months.
I have friends who have had the whirliwind romance and it has scared the crap out of me. ALL of them have worked out really well.
But I have met two people just recently, they are both newly divorced and both of their stories is that they just didn't know their ex well enough. I mean really naive. So, I guess each to their own, it just would have not been have been me.
We met online in August '06. In person March '07. Engaged Oct '07.
I don't believe in "the one" but I also don't think you necessarily have to know someone for a long period of time to figure out if they are willing to put the necessary work into maintaining a relationship. *shrug*
I'd say we knew about 3 months in. But we had both been through a few long term relationships, so we weren't young'uns in that department :-)
We met in Pgh in September, and when he went home to Montana at Xmas, I bought tickets to go see him. I think his family knew as well at that point :-P
While we always joked in our 1st year together about running away to get married, we ended up waiting almost four years while DH finished his PhD before we got engaged, and two more years before getting married.
Dave & Jennifer 10.18.08
My Doha Adventures
Dh and I talked online for almost 4 years before we met in person and I can honestly say that when we met in person I knew right away that he was 'the one' and that I was going to marry him.
Of course, it never ever crossed my mind to jump into getting married. One, we were both still in uni. Two, we were still young and had a lot we wanted to do. We ended up getting engaged 21 months after we officially started dating.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
Our relationship was pretty "whirlwind."
I "winked" at him on match.com - March 4, 2006
Met in person - March 10, 2006
Engaged - July 22, 2006
Married - May 16, 2008
H and I were also 19 when we got together and I don't think either of us gave marriage a thought for ages (not consciously anyway!).
I'd say that as time went on after having moved in together (at 23), it naturally progressed to "if things keep going the way they are, we'll prob. be together forever" kind of thing. H then got a sudden urge (lol) to propose and we got engaged at 26.
I knew he was special before we started dating. I was seeing someone I didn't really want to be when I met H. H and I didn't even exchange numbers that night, but meeting him was the catalyst in me breaking up with my then BF. I just thought to myself, what if I miss out on an amazing guy like that (my now H) because I'm dragging my feet with the loser?
H and I met again a few weeks later and started dating right away. We started talking marriage a few months after that, and 16 months after meeting him that first time we were married. I knew that he was the one very shortly after we started dating.
That is so cute. Did you know he was going to propose so soon?
I had a rule. I would not marry anyone, not matter how much I loved them, unless we had been together for 3 years. I had seen too many relationships break up around the 3 year mark, its like a turning point for some reason.
I knew that I wanted to marry DH about 2 months after we met and we were both sitting in Church one night and I could imagine him standing in the front of the Church and me walking towards him. I could see his face in my head, and after that night I knew. We got engaged 3 years after we met and got married 6 months after that.
I knew I was done randomly dating 2 days after we met. I didn't know if that was going to lead to marriage or not, but I knew I was done.
H and I were discussing this and I told him when I "knew". He chuckled and said "yep, that was some kiss good-bye wasn't it".
DH was one of the first friends I made in the UK. We worked together facing each other for nearly a year. I knew we'd be friends because he brought me in a minidisc of an album I didn't have by Ani DiFranco (I was shocked he even knew who she was, let alone liked her music!)
We remained friends for 5 years and he always phoned me on my birthday - and sometimes my own parents forgot (for reals).
So, I'd been here 5 years when we met up in London to watch rugby. We swapped dating nightmares and revealed we'd each been dumped in spectacular style (long story) and we ignored everyone in the room. I took the train home and texted him to say: you're lucky I didn't stay longer, I'd have kissed you. He replied: I wish you had.
We started dating 6 weeks later and did long distance (he had moved up north of the country) for a year. We moved in together and I found living with him was super easy and he was genuinely my best friend. No massive turning point that decided it, but I guess around 6 months after we started living together, I knew he was the one. We've been married nearly 3 years.
I still have the minidisc on my desk.
DH and I met in high school, so we were way too young to even think about marriage in the beginning.
We decided to stick it out through going to different colleges about 2 hours apart from each other, and that's when I started to get the idea that he was "the one." I was more hopeful than positive and about the time of our senior year of college I knew. We had been through some time apart and it was obvious to me that I could not (and did not want to) live without him.
We moved in together a few months after college graduation and got engaged about a year and a half later. Wedding planning took another year since we were overseas...so in the end it was 8 years together before we got married! It sounds really long compared to some, but it worked for us.
I think it's different for everyone, and age definitely plays a factor.
IN's October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costumes
DH and I have sort of grown up together since we started dating when we were just 18. Because of the religious differences we had to start talking about marriage/children very early in our relationship, probably the 2nd year we were dating. Seven years later we were married.
I always felt something was different with him. It was so easy, so natural and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's my best friend.
Aww, now I'm all mushy and teary-eyed. I love that man.
My Israel Blog!
We met on skype September 2nd 2006. Talked every single day.
He came to visit me for a week in November 2006. When he left I was crying and thinking, what if I never see him again..I just couldn`t imagine it.
Then he came again in April 07 for 2 weeks and after that trip I was pretty certain that we will be together for a loooong time
We finally got married December 2010 after 4 and half years together. All of those long distance, with me flying every 3 months over to the US to see him (he couldn`t take time off from work).
We have been married for 7 months now and could not be happier. So I guess within a year of us meeting I knew
I knew a few months after meeting him that he could be the one. We married about two years after meeting though and our 4th wedding anniversary is next week.
I guess I'm the one who's different here... I'm not married yet, but soon! anyway..
We spent around 5/6 months talking before, online, and something since the beginning clicked, a good thing between us was there and we knew it, that's why we had to meet in person. When he came to Brazil to meet me, since I couldn't go to U.S, 1 week after his arrival, being pretty much glued to each other and nothing felt wrong, never. One night we were in bed and he started to cry, and telling me that he couldn't believe what he found (me), and he just knew that from that moment on he'd never be alone again, and we kept talking about plans, what we'd do from now on, etc. Since that moment I knew if he ever proposed me, I'd say yes with no doubt at all.
When he left, and it was the most painful moment for us, after a couple weeks apart and it was getting closer to his birthday, I tried for a tourist visa and got denied and this was heartbreaking for him. In february we decided to go through this visa process, and I never had a doubt, so I guess since the first week together I knew it.
But ladies, all of this happened within a couple months, has almost 9 months, over a year that I know him, but officially (not cyber) together, yeah... And if it wasn't HIM, for him, this man that I love, I would have doubts, I'd wait a couple years, etc.. I wouldn't go through all of this for somebody else, so it's him and since that moment I knew it
For me, I knew fourth date in that DH was special.
Six months in we were discussing marriage.
364 days later he proposed.
We were married at 18 months
and moved to London the next month.
We will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this December.
I just knew and we were younger, 23/24 when we met. I wouldn't change a thing, although sometimes DH says he wished he married me the day he met me.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself that I am married to my DH -- he is my perfect match.
Aw, there are so many good stories on here!
DH and I met youngish, 20/21. I can't remember exactly when I knew, but I think we talked marriage for the first time about 6 months in? Not in a serious way, but in a "this is really something special, I can't see us ever breaking up, I think this could be a forever thing" way.
We just chugged along happily, occasionally talked about it, we got engaged in my second year of grad school and married that summer when I was 24 and he was 25.
It's funny, I look back now and think "24 is so young to get married!"
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