Military Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Hi I'm new here
You do realize you're going to move away from your families, right? You're in for a rude awakening sometime soon.
You do realize that I didn't insult you, right?
Either way, everyone knows you are happy where you are in life so why everyone continues to try to sway you is beyond me.
Well, Im sure if you did have to move you could find a great youth group to join!
Ok go ahead and stone me. I must suck as a wife. Dare I say...I don't even live with my H right now.
We see each other on the weekends.
Shocking he is leaving (not me) and I have a job that I love and don't want to sit in a big empty house for a year or longer waiting for him to get home. Also, I BOUGHT my house all by my little lonesome and the housing market sucks right now so I would not be able to sale it without taking a hit.
Double shocking...when we are together...my H does most of the cooking and cleaning. Dare I say he likes to HELP me out!
Triple shocking...I will finish my masters in 7 months.
This girl cannot be for real right? I mean seriously take the Kool-aid from her right now!
So you'll move back in with the 'rents. And do what? Sit on your azz? Damn for having parents who insisted I work and get my degree.
Our greeting everyday at the beach. My two boys.
RUN FREE SWEET BOY RUN FREE gotcha day 12/272009 -11/11/2010
Maybe she just meant you might be cute with rainbow hair and a jeweled bellybutton?
I see this as a person who is clearly enjoying egging people on and getting people riled up. She's not throwing a temper tantrum like most 18 yr olds would if someone is saying what they are choosing in life isn't realistic. Instead, she's countering back and explaining her choices. Her sn with slang but doesn't use slang when speaking. She's board hopping with her drama. To top it off, the sudden sparklies reminds me of people who are regulars who've had AE's (not only this board) to mock people who are truly like what this person is portraying. She also has been told the nest/bump isn't for her and to choose BabyGaga and she repeats the same responses to people when they direct her to there.
It sucks if she is real and living a life where her men in her life rule her life but I don't think we'll be changing her views any time soon. KWIM?
This is a completely unfair statement. Just because some of us, actually the majority of us here choose to work in some capacity does not mean that our husbands don't want to take care of us.
For me its a personal choice to be working and contributing to our family. My husband would be fine if I choose to stay home but he knows that I would not be happy doing that all day every day.
There are a lot of very educated women on this board so I think that if you plan on staying here you need to be respectful of that just as we will be respectful of your choice to stay home and raise your family.
:: Off to finish my application for a research position at a well known Children's Research Hospital so that I can continue to better myself and help to make the world a better place, oh and so I can be the bread winner while my husband goes back to college to better himself as well:: ( this is directed only to the OP)
Naw, visiting a cabbage patch or waiting at the window to see if a funky looking bird with long legs, long neck and long beak is a-comin.
Why yes of course, how did I not notice that before?
When added with the sort-of "I feel sorry for your husbands", it's only a matter of time until she takes her ball and GBCMNs.
Bitter old hags should soon be following!
oh and don't forget "you dont know me or my life"
Darn this post!!! Not only did I not get dinner started( what some working women do so that its a easy pop it in the oven when they get off work kind of thing), I didn't finish my cover letter!!!!!!
I feel really sorry for you little one. You have much much much to learn.
Serious question: Does your husband have a life and friends outside of you?
Serious question 2: Why is he allowed to have goals/aspirations, work, and support the family, while you're not even allowed to voice an original thought?
It's in my sig and it's staying there forever. Or at least until I get bored with it.
WE don't have time? How about you? I'm pretty sure you have plenty of time to do some online courses if your husband is working during the day because guess what, i'm currently a SAHW and a military spouse and I am doing online classes. And guess what, my husband is super supportive of me getting some schooling done. He's told me many times how proud he is of the fact that i'm trying to accomplish something myself. I never want to think about the possibility of something happening to him but guess what, you never know what life is going to throw at you. And maybe this is all sounding snarky, but apparently trying to nicely give you suggestions as some people have isn't getting through to you AT ALL. I'm also young and got married young. I was 19, he was 18. We have been married for a little over a year and are now expecting a baby. And you know what, i'm super glad that we got a year to have all to ourselves because once this baby gets here we aren't going to have time to do whatever we want. Actually sit back and LISTEN to what's been suggested by many of these women here who have been in the same situation as you. I'm definitely different now than I was at your age and that's only a couple of years difference. I definitely needed some time to grow as a person first.
So you're saying you never disagree with your husband.
67/200
No one here is suggesting that you enroll in full time classes or heck, even get a full time job.
What they are suggesting is that you do some investigating into who you are as a person - it's _really_ telling that you can't describe any aspirations other than being a housewife and mom. The women I know who stay home all still have interests and hobbies and such that are independent of being a homemaker.
Also, education is never a bad thing - think of how it might benefit your future kids. With a few college classes under your belt, you'll be better prepped to help them with their homework when they're in school. You could take language classes, which may also prove useful. If your husband ends up stationed overseas, knowing the local language makes life easier.
A lot of college courses can be schedule for times when your husband would be working. Or, heck, you could take some of them online, and complete them during your downtime while he's away. There are programs to assist the spouses of lower enlisted with the costs of college courses, so it might be possible to do this for very low cost, too. A full course load is 4-6 classes, which can be a pretty heavy load. But one or two courses is easily achievable.
I haven't read every post, but it seems like everyone here is being a little mean in their approach and they've put you on the defense. First, I'm going to tell you that I agree that you need to stop and think about babies for a minute. However, you can choose to do what you want.
Let's talk about college...What's the harm in you getting a college education? It can only help you in the long-run. It's not going to hurt you to at least get an associates degree (2 years) in something useful. That way, when you decide it IS the right time for you to get a full degree, you already have 2 years under your belt. You can simply do this online. If you're going to stay home with the kids, you definitely have time to do this. You can not argue that you won't have time....that's a ridiculous argument. There is seriously NO downside to you having an education.
Let's talk about being a young mom....I'm sure you're totally ready for a baby. You are physically capable and financially stable (right?). What the other women are trying to point out is that MENTALLY you will change A LOT from the ages of 18-22. If you give yourself a few years you will be more equipped mentally for a baby. You aren't going to change your mind about having a baby...when you're 22 you'll want a child just as much as you want one now. And the opportunity will still be there. It's not like you're going to be out of your childbearing years anytime soon. You might want to give YOURSELF time to grow as a person (it's inevitable).
Let's talk about money....I'm sure your husband makes enough money to support you and a child. However, think about what it would be like if you guys had more than just enough money to scrape by. Part of preparing for a child is preparing your piggy bank. Start a savings account now for expenses for the baby....after a year you should have a good amount saved up to help pad yourselves for baby's arrival. My husband and I are in our late 20s and we even started a "baby arrival" fund 2 years before we conceived. It certainly has helped!
You want to be the best mom you can be. We all do. Part of being the best mom you can be is making sure that you are 100% ready. At 18 you may be ready, but at 22 you could be much better prepared.
Why is it every 18 year old (when I was 18 too) things they and their situations are so different than anyone else has ever been thru? They are so ready to be married and have kids because they have been together so long and they are just going to be together forever.
OP over 100 people have given you good advise to hold off on having a baby for a while and just be happy newleywed's for a few years. Travel, be selfish and do whatever it is you want to do.
Then have a baby. Because once you have a baby it is really all about the baby and your relationship will change is ways your can't even imagine good and bad.
And FYI on the job thing maybe one day your DH will be out of work for a extended period of time and you'll have to bring home the pay check. Be prepared for it because it happens a lot.
My DH is in real estate made very good money then when the market tanked we couldn't afford daycare and he had to watch our DS in order for us to make ends meet. I have always worked and enjoyed the pride I get in doing for our family and bringing in a steady pay check.
Just some things to think about OP.
Oct 2011 3 1/2 years old.
Robert Williams Birth date 5/16/2008
This is extremely short sighted. Most of work because we want to. We need to feel that we are contributing financially to our households.
As for other things you have said. If you are married you should not be relying on mom and dad or his mom and dad to help make your decisions. Just because things worked for them doesn't mean it will work for you. Everyone is different. I fully believe that you should take part i your finances and that you should have something in your name to build credit.
As for one other thing. You must feel super sorry for my H because last week he cleaned the whole house and mowed the yard. The only thing i did in our house last week was cook. But I did also work a lot, although apparently you don't believe in women working.
The Dogs and Us
I don't post on here often anymore because my life has been busy, but this made me gasp. I WANTED to get an education and a job to help provide for my family. My husband is in the Army Reserves, works, and goes to school full time, I work and go to school full time. We will both graduate with Bachelor's, I plan on getting my Master's and he plans on going to vet school. We plan on starting our family (trying to get a family) soon, but we know what we want out of life and for me it's not relying on my husband to support me. I prefer having extra money to be able to do fun things and not sit around all the time, we love traveling. We're high school sweethearts, have known each other since 8th grade, and we just got married last may at 21, I don't know if you think you're entitled or what but I'm guessing your husband is an E-1 which I know doesn't make much to support a family so good luck since I know you won't listen to anyone's advice about waiting. You're 18... at least learn how to do a budget and price diapers, food, etc. for a baby and maybe look into at least a hobby...
*And I never get snarky when I post, that just hit me the wrong way...