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I never thought I would have to say this again
This morning DH and I went for a regular OB appointment -- my first "real" appointment in 2 pregnancies. Everything looked good. My doctor was so excited to see me pregnant again. We tried to find the heart beat on the doppler, but couldn't. "It's a little early anyway", he said. We went into the next room where the ultrasound machine is. It wasn't a great quality machine, but we saw our little baby. But it wasn't moving. Nothing was moving. "It's not a great machine," he told us, and said he'd be right back. He sent us downstairs to the maternal fetal medicine office for a better ultrasound. He told me not to jump to conclusions, but I think he knew, and I knew.
We went and got the ultrasound done and there was our baby, measuring 10w2d. It had little arms and legs, but no heart beat.
The doctor (who was much nicer than the one from last time) told us she was very sorry. She told me she had two miscarriages back to back too, and then had a healthy child, but she knows how much it hurts. They left us alone for a few minutes while they called my doctor, and I sat on DH's lap and cried.
We went back up to my doctor's office and sat down with him. He just shook his head. He said we can do some testing for different things that might cause recurrent miscarriages, and send off some tissue for chromosome analysis. And we scheduled my second D&C for tomorrow -- they'll call me with a time later today.
We drove home in complete silence.
We don't know what to do.
We are heartbroken.
I am probably going to take some time away from here, and everywhere, for a little while. I just feel devoid of all emotion at this point, and it's a horrible awful place I never wanted to return to.
And yet, here I am, 9.5 months later.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
Re: I never thought I would have to say this again
<a href="http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h205/adia83/?action=view
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. You and your DH have my thoughts and prayers.
updated 10.03.12
Stand up for something you believe in.
Oh no- I dont know what we can do for you but i am not too far away if you need ANYTHING.
Love to you and your husband.
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
Oh Meghan, my heart breaks for you. I have no words to express how sorry I am. Please know my thoughts are with you and Ty. I don't frequent the board very often anymore, but I'm on facebook if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. Sending lots of love your way.
xoxox
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
Ugh! I had a weird feeling when I saw the subject... I was really hoping it would be good news.
I'm so very sorry. I really don't know what to say. Lots and lots of hugs. Take your time grieving. We're all here for you when you're ready to talk more.
My Acme Box last update 3/28/11
Meghan,
I'm literally in tears and just wanted to let you know I truly sorry I am to hear this. I will be praying for you and your husband to get through this. Just know that you have so many people thinking of you and praying for you even at this very moment. Just take it one day at a time; you will get through this...
Love,
Jessica