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I'm really angry and need advice (long, be patient, sorry)

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Re: I'm really angry and need advice (long, be patient, sorry)

  • If he still talks to her that much, there is an emotional connection and a void they fill for each other.  Keeping in touch with an ex is one thing, but if they used to talk daily, I think you need to be very careful.  It sounds like they're emotionally dependent on each other.  

     Just my opinion. 

     

  • I'm with some of the others - I still talk to my exes and am good friends with them.  I do think your SO's ex is suspect, but based on the texts you've seen, it appears that your SO is trying to manage the situation as best as possible.

    Before I say anything more, I want to mention that I do think that your feelings are valid, and applaud you for expressing them to your SO.  It would be much worse if you repressed them.  It's completely reasonable to ask for him to cut down on the communications with his ex wife.

    Here's the deal - the guy clearly still cares for his ex.  It may be strictly platonic, but he cares for her and wants to keep communicating with her.  You've asked him to cut back on communications, but he's not able/willing to follow through with that request.  Quit asking.  Accept it for what it is.  If you can't handle it, then move on.  And don't get dramatic about it.  If you can't handle them regularly talking, then try and rationally explain to him why you need to move on, and then follow through.  If you think he's worth the stress that this situation creates for you, then try and find some healthy outlet to process the stress and quit letting it interfere in your relationship with your SO.  

    Regardless of the next step you take, you may want to consider seeking counseling for any lingering trust issues you have from your last relationship.  I agree 100% with Quizzle - you are NOT secure in your current relationship.  It is extremely unfair to bring those insecurities to the table with a new person, and will gradually eat away at future relationships.  

    Good luck! 

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