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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: Ma'am/Sir
.[Poll]
Re: Poll: Ma'am/Sir
I was taught to say it to all adults and teach my children the same.
A poll on one of the national boards recently showed that it is very much a regional thing and even considered rude in some areas.
I voted that I was "required" but I don't remember it being like some forced, get in trouble if you dont, type of thing. its just what you did... you said yes sir/no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am.
But, i also grew up in the deep south so we were old fashioned. I remember my mom being upset when I called my friends mom by her first name one time (the mom said it was fine). My mom said she didnt care what friends mom said, i had to at least call her "Miss FirstName"
I guess what I meant by "required" was that I knew people who if they accidentally just said "yes" or "no", the parents would basically say "I'm sorry - what was that?" and make them repeat it with the ma'am, sir.
I guess that came off as negative sounding, and that's not what I really meant. - I see what you are saying.
This. My son better hold doors for women/adults and just be plain respectful all the way around.
The people on the national boards who thought is was belittling to be called ma'am had me rolling on the floor. I could think of a lot of other words to insult a woman with other than ma'am, if that was my intention.
This is how it was for me. My sister...not so much.
My uncle's GF was from Ohio. Apparently it was considered rude to say ma'am/sir up there. Her mom was in town and we were having dinner and she asked if I wanted ketchup and I replied with yes, ma'am and she got pizzzzed.
I was raised that way and I raise my kids that way... I also teach them to say "miss firstname" as well.
I don't understand how that's rude?
I know lots of people from MI that are offended by ma'am/sir. But we were still taught to say it. I think up there it's more offensive if someone say, my age, called someone ma'am vs. someone my kids age.
We were also taught to use Mrs./Mr. etc. I still call most of my parents friends Mrs./Mr. <first or last name>.
I was taught to say it, and my kids are being taught the same thing. It irritates me to no end that my in-laws don't follow our lead and have my son say sir/ma'am to them. He sees them all the time. I think it is much easier for it to become a habit now than to worry about it when he is older.
My little brother says it (he is 17). They live in the northeast, and my mom got complimented on my brother's use of sir/ma'am at a Red Sox game. The person assumed they were part of a military family. Mom just said, "No, we're from Texas."
So Tasty, So Yummy
Always said it.
I still call everyone mam/sir to this day..this includes the worker at sonic to my boss.
I was an Army Brat and lived all over.
Are you teaching Miss F to say it? Or has she picked it up?
I am from Ohio. It depends on what area you are in. If you are in Cleveland then there is no yes sir/ma'am. It is also "you guys". Columbus, it's possible to get a sir/ma'am and they say "you all" and Cincinnati you will more than likely get a sir/ma'am and a "ya'll".
I am from Cleveland area, I don't say ma'am/sir. I say "yes please" and "no thank you". It is how I was raised, it is still polite, just maybe not southern polite. But for me to say ma'am or sir isn't going to happen. Like me trying to say ya'll or soda.... to me it's you guys and a pop...just how and where I was raised.
We just discussed this with a group of friends last week.The couple from up north said it was rude and considered a detatched way of replying to someone. For example, you could call anyone ma'am, so you shouldn't use this term for close attachments such as your parents, parent's friends, etc. I thought this was so odd.
I also thought it was interesting to see who used these terms and with whom they used them. I'm 36, and was taught to use them with all adults. Some of the people in their 20s only used these with grandparents and older people.
I was also raised to only call adults by Mr. or Mrs Last name. First names were never an option. When I got married I was introducing DH to some long-term neighbors (20+) years and called them all Mr. and Mrs. Last name. One guy who is now single told me I could call him by his first name, but I thought it was weird.
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Learning to be respectful was a big deal in our house growing up.
We were taught to address all adults, including our parents, with sir/maam.
"Yeah" and a plain "No" were always corrected to "Yes, please / No, thank you".
My little brother was holding doors open for adult women when he was 8 or so.
Oh and "elbows off the table!" and "be mindful of your space! (look where you're walking and respect adults' personal space)"This is the rule at my house. The children address adults with Miss/Ms/Mrs/Mr Firstname.
G asks me all the time, no matter what I'm drinking, if I have pop.
I know it's a regional thing so I try not to get annoyed but I really dislike being called "Miss 1st name." It sounds both archaic and classist to me. Again, I know I just grew up differently but to kids I am either on a 1st name basis or they can call me "Mrs Lastname."
I am not teaching her to say it.
So Tasty, So Yummy
I have to work really hard to not have my kids call you Miss Rayskit.
They just call me "Truitt's mommy" anyway
I almost added that to my response. Poor Mathis. But at least A remembered him when she told me she was asking Truitt and Mathis over for tea.
"You guys" makes sense to me.
What about "yuse guys (sp?)" I still remember the first day of 7th grade math when our teacher said that to us. Dead silence. Stopped us in our tracks. She was from Chicago, but I have no idea if it's a Chicago thing. I have family (in-laws) who live there are from there and they don't say it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the different dialects. Just like to know where they are derive from.
Holding doors is a big one for me and "yes please/no thank you" as well. To me, that is more just good manners, where "ma'am/sir" is more regional.
HAHAHAHA....I have a friend from Chicago and he says "yuse guys". He also says Illinois pronounced WITH the S.
This almost exactly. I had to do the same thing to Abbie last school year. One of the Mom's said she could call her by her first name, I told her she better not EVER.
Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
we're a "ma'am/sir/miss first name/mister last name" family for sure.
we're also a family of "you guys" and "soda"
j+k+m+e | running with needles
I was never taught or forced to say it. With that said, when I was a kid, I knew when it was appropriate to use sir/ma'am.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.