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Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Tell me something REAL

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Re: Tell me something REAL

  • Oh another one... I wish my DH was more emotional and romantic in general.  Tomorrow is our anniversary and given the circumstances of a newborn, I'm not expecting anything but I'm totally jealous of the women who get flowers and sappy cards.

    P.S. Dani, a thumbs up to your post too!

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  • My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  The medication that he was put on sometimes works but sometimes doesn't and it's been a back and forth battle.  When he's great, he's great but when he's not, it's miserable.  I feel alone in all of this because my in-laws don't get what's going on and he doesn't like talking to them about it because of their ignorance and the fact that they just don't get that he is sick and can't "just be normal".  My parents are helpful and offer to take him to the doctors if I can't so that's certainly helpful but it doesn't mean the same as if it were his own parents reaching out.  I try my very best to be supportive and caring and understanding but so far, it's going on 3 months filled with anger, pain, tears, disconnect, frustration, anxiety, insomnia and unhappiness on my end...and I feel incredibly selfish for this.  I've gone to a support group that didn't seem to be a good fit for me so I'm finally going to therapy on Friday for myself.       
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  • imagetspring82:
    My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  The medication that he was put on sometimes works but sometimes doesn't and it's been a back and forth battle.  When he's great, he's great but when he's not, it's miserable.  I feel alone in all of this because my in-laws don't get what's going on and he doesn't like talking to them about it because of their ignorance and the fact that they just don't get that he is sick and can't "just be normal".  My parents are helpful and offer to take him to the doctors if I can't so that's certainly helpful but it doesn't mean the same as if it were his own parents reaching out.  I try my very best to be supportive and caring and understanding but so far, it's going on 3 months filled with anger, pain, tears, disconnect, frustration, anxiety, insomnia and unhappiness on my end...and I feel incredibly selfish for this.  I've gone to a support group that didn't seem to be a good fit for me so I'm finally going to therapy on Friday for myself.       
    HUGE hug to you. Glad you are going to therapy, don't forget to take care of yourself while you are taking care of him.
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  • imagetspring82:
    My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  The medication that he was put on sometimes works but sometimes doesn't and it's been a back and forth battle.  When he's great, he's great but when he's not, it's miserable.  I feel alone in all of this because my in-laws don't get what's going on and he doesn't like talking to them about it because of their ignorance and the fact that they just don't get that he is sick and can't "just be normal".  My parents are helpful and offer to take him to the doctors if I can't so that's certainly helpful but it doesn't mean the same as if it were his own parents reaching out.  I try my very best to be supportive and caring and understanding but so far, it's going on 3 months filled with anger, pain, tears, disconnect, frustration, anxiety, insomnia and unhappiness on my end...and I feel incredibly selfish for this.  I've gone to a support group that didn't seem to be a good fit for me so I'm finally going to therapy on Friday for myself.       

    T, I am so sorry! I know it's not the same situation (gma vs husband) but my grandmother is bi-polar and schitzophrenic (sp?) so I know how hard it can be! My aunt has my grandmother living with her and she has been exposed to all kinds of situations due to my grandmother. She can share some stories! If you EVER want to talk/chat/vent/scream/cry etc you know where to find me! I mean it!

  • imagetspring82:
    My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  The medication that he was put on sometimes works but sometimes doesn't and it's been a back and forth battle.  When he's great, he's great but when he's not, it's miserable.  I feel alone in all of this because my in-laws don't get what's going on and he doesn't like talking to them about it because of their ignorance and the fact that they just don't get that he is sick and can't "just be normal".  My parents are helpful and offer to take him to the doctors if I can't so that's certainly helpful but it doesn't mean the same as if it were his own parents reaching out.  I try my very best to be supportive and caring and understanding but so far, it's going on 3 months filled with anger, pain, tears, disconnect, frustration, anxiety, insomnia and unhappiness on my end...and I feel incredibly selfish for this.  I've gone to a support group that didn't seem to be a good fit for me so I'm finally going to therapy on Friday for myself.       

    Huge hugs to you. I hope things get better.

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  • imagetspring82:
    My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  The medication that he was put on sometimes works but sometimes doesn't and it's been a back and forth battle.  When he's great, he's great but when he's not, it's miserable.  I feel alone in all of this because my in-laws don't get what's going on and he doesn't like talking to them about it because of their ignorance and the fact that they just don't get that he is sick and can't "just be normal".  My parents are helpful and offer to take him to the doctors if I can't so that's certainly helpful but it doesn't mean the same as if it were his own parents reaching out.  I try my very best to be supportive and caring and understanding but so far, it's going on 3 months filled with anger, pain, tears, disconnect, frustration, anxiety, insomnia and unhappiness on my end...and I feel incredibly selfish for this.  I've gone to a support group that didn't seem to be a good fit for me so I'm finally going to therapy on Friday for myself.       

    Wow, hugs!!!  Def seek help to talk to someone.  Having all those emotions bundled up doesn't help!!   

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  • tspring, that is a lot to deal with. Glad you are taking care of yourself, too. Good luck!
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  • tspring, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. As pp said, do take care of yourself too. I know that when your spouse is having health problems it affects you too. I hope things get better!
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  • Tspring - I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope things will get better! Hang in there.
  • imagetspring82:
    My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  The medication that he was put on sometimes works but sometimes doesn't and it's been a back and forth battle.  When he's great, he's great but when he's not, it's miserable.  I feel alone in all of this because my in-laws don't get what's going on and he doesn't like talking to them about it because of their ignorance and the fact that they just don't get that he is sick and can't "just be normal".  My parents are helpful and offer to take him to the doctors if I can't so that's certainly helpful but it doesn't mean the same as if it were his own parents reaching out.  I try my very best to be supportive and caring and understanding but so far, it's going on 3 months filled with anger, pain, tears, disconnect, frustration, anxiety, insomnia and unhappiness on my end...and I feel incredibly selfish for this.  I've gone to a support group that didn't seem to be a good fit for me so I'm finally going to therapy on Friday for myself.       

    I just wanted to reach out and give you a hug. 

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  • imagetspring82:
    My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  The medication that he was put on sometimes works but sometimes doesn't and it's been a back and forth battle.  When he's great, he's great but when he's not, it's miserable.  I feel alone in all of this because my in-laws don't get what's going on and he doesn't like talking to them about it because of their ignorance and the fact that they just don't get that he is sick and can't "just be normal".  My parents are helpful and offer to take him to the doctors if I can't so that's certainly helpful but it doesn't mean the same as if it were his own parents reaching out.  I try my very best to be supportive and caring and understanding but so far, it's going on 3 months filled with anger, pain, tears, disconnect, frustration, anxiety, insomnia and unhappiness on my end...and I feel incredibly selfish for this.  I've gone to a support group that didn't seem to be a good fit for me so I'm finally going to therapy on Friday for myself.       

    Bigs hugs. I am sorry to hear you're going through this. I am sure you're doing an amazing job helping take care of your husband but don't forget about you and make sure you take time for yourself. Sounds like you know that though - therapy will probably help a lot and feel free to vent here any time you need to.

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  • Tspring, I'm sorry you're going through this, but so happy to hear you're seeking support for yourself as well.

     ... ... ...

    DH is ready for kids, but I'm not.  I just finished grad school and applied to take my licensing exam, so I'm just about to start my career.  I'm terrified to get pregnant because I know everything will change, and I'm totally happy with how things are right now, especially between DH and I.  I'm also afraid that I'll be jealous of the baby--DH might love her/him more than me...

    I wish I had more close friends.  I have a few pretty good friends, but I don't feel like I have a best friend, or that I am anyone's best friend (not counting DH).  I just don't really have a BFF...and I wish I did.

     

  • imageRagdolls:

    imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    I'm tired of being responsible and shelving what I want in favor of what I should do, so I'm switching gears and throwing caution to the wind. And DH is on board. I'm thrilled.

    Party!!! (If this means what I think it does....)

    I 'bout died when I got to this post.

    I didn't give details 'cause we all know how annoying it is to hear that people are gettin' busy with their spouses, but, yeah.... TTC #2.

    Wink 

     

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  • imagetspring82:
    My husband was diagnosed with rapid cycling bi-polar at the beginning of the summer.  

    Oh Trish. As a PP said, I just want to reach through and give you a hug.

    I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. My SIL is bi-polar and I've heard from DH on more than one occasion what it was like to have a loved one suffering from it - my heart goes out to you. I'm also sorry that your in-laws can't grasp that it's an illness and not something your husband can control. It's a line of thought I've heard from some of my own family members who are likely of the same generation. As my DH says, would you tell someone with diabetes to buck up and be normal, screw their medications? No. And you can't tell someone suffering from mental illness to just be normal. It doesn't work that way.

    If there is absolutely anything I can do, please let me know. You're in my thoughts. *hugs*

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  • imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    imageRagdolls:

    imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    I'm tired of being responsible and shelving what I want in favor of what I should do, so I'm switching gears and throwing caution to the wind. And DH is on board. I'm thrilled.

    Party!!! (If this means what I think it does....)

    I 'bout died when I got to this post.

    I didn't give details 'cause we all know how annoying it is to hear that people are gettin' busy with their spouses, but, yeah.... TTC #2.

    Wink 

     

     

    Yes 

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  • LLHR - SO exciting!  You already have one cutie; another one can only be a great thing! :)

    Trish - I am so sorry.  I don't have any personal experience w/ bipolar disorder (although I do have family experience w/ multiple other mental disorders), but I wanted to send you hugs!  You know all of us are always here to listen if you just need to get something off your chest.  Hang in there - you're in my T&Ps.

  • I'm exhausted from work.  I'm not sure I can continue to keep the insane hours I work.  I should be so much further in my career than I am, but I work for a small company so there is limited advancement opportunities.

    I really want to have a baby but not sure I'm in good enough health at the moment to do so and it makes me sad.  

    I'm the biggest (weight wise) that I have been in my entire life and I'm disgusted with myself.  I try to act like it doesn't bother me, but it does.

    I have very few friends in life anymore that can truly be considered friends.  I don't really have a best friend and it makes me sad.

    My entire post makes me sound like one depressing loser.

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  • imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    imageRagdolls:

    imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    I'm tired of being responsible and shelving what I want in favor of what I should do, so I'm switching gears and throwing caution to the wind. And DH is on board. I'm thrilled.

    Party!!! (If this means what I think it does....)

    I 'bout died when I got to this post.

    I didn't give details 'cause we all know how annoying it is to hear that people are gettin' busy with their spouses, but, yeah.... TTC #2.

    Wink 

     

    Woot woot!!

    image
    lovelylittleworld
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  • imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:

    I didn't give details 'cause we all know how annoying it is to hear that people are gettin' busy with their spouses, but, yeah.... TTC #2.

    Wink 

    :::KERMIT FLAIL:::

  • imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    imageRagdolls:

    imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:
    I'm tired of being responsible and shelving what I want in favor of what I should do, so I'm switching gears and throwing caution to the wind. And DH is on board. I'm thrilled.

    Party!!! (If this means what I think it does....)

    I 'bout died when I got to this post.

    I didn't give details 'cause we all know how annoying it is to hear that people are gettin' busy with their spouses, but, yeah.... TTC #2.

    Wink 

     

    I was hoping this was what this was!  Good luck!!

  • tspring I am so very sorry to hear about your H. I hope things get better and am glad that your parents are being so supportive. Sending big hugs your way.

     

    LLHR - super exciting!  yay!

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  • tspring i'm so sorry. :( i don't know anyone w/ bi-polar disorder but i know what it's like to live w/ someone who is mentally ill and it's terribly hard. i hope you are taking care of yourself. 

     

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  • "I'm tired of being responsible and shelving what I want in favor of what I should do, so I'm switching gears and throwing caution to the wind. And DH is on board. I'm thrilled."How exciting! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
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  • I wish I could participate in this post but I have so many things going on right now I can't type them all out. Life is good, I'm happy both DH and I have our health but I so wish we could move on in our lives. It makes me sad that other people get to make decisions that impact our lives so deeply. The back and forth conversations are emotionally draining me. Sorry that this is somewhat cryptic.
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  • I don't like margaritas, I think strip fitness is degrading to women, and I feel guilty when I have dreams about my ex.

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  • Hmmm...let's see -

    I wish my extended family (on my side, not DH's) would just butt out of our lives as they're much more of a hindrance than help / benefit to our happiness.  Their uber-religious nature and judgement are such a turn-off backed with constant "I love you and your family" and it makes me want to barf.  Ugh.

    After all we went through with Bobby, DH and I decided we wouldn't have any more kids.  But now that he's talking about getting snipped, I'm feeling anxious and unhappy.  I guess I really would love to have another kid but would I?  DH is firmly against having any more.  Sometimes I  feel like I say I don't want to have another to convince myself of that too...but other times, I feel like I couldn't possibly deal with the anxiety of being pregnant again and what could happen.  And although I like the *idea* of adoption, it just doesn't feel like it'd be the same.  Sorry if that makes me sound evil.

    image

    image

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