International Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I'm sad for a dumb reason
I'm feeling really bummed that we haven't gotten a single baby gift yet. I know gifts aren't everything...it just makes me feel like no one really cares. You can flame me for being greedy if you want, I deserve it.
Re: I'm sad for a dumb reason
I am so sorry you are going through this. If you are worried about not getting anything you should start looking at craigslist or consignment stores to get some basic clothes. The only things you absolutely need, and can't come home from the hospital without, would be a car seat (and I would be very leery of getting one used since they expire and you can't use one that has been in an accident), diapers, and a few clothes. I would get a few bottles just in case bf'ing doesn't work out for you, and usually the hospital will give you formula if you need some (and probably diapers/wipes as well). Do you have a crib or pack and play?
If you feel you won't be able to afford a car seat you should talk to your family, and if they aren't willing to help you out maybe they can loan you some money to help you out.
I do think most people wait until the baby is born to give a gift unless there is a shower. I don't recall getting anything until weeks after having my babies from people stopping by to visit, etc... We didn't register or have a shower though.
I think having a shower would be your best bet which will generate some excitement in people, and in the meantime, like pp said, pick up some necessities, trying 2nd hand stores & craigslist.
I agree with frlcb. As long as you have the very basics (place for baby to sleep, a few basic outfits, a way to feed him and a car seat) you're good. Even if you can't afford a pnp or a crib right away, you can always have him sleep with you and B if you're comfortable with that. I'd definitely check out ebay, craigslist, consignment shops and even goodwill. Sometimes you can find a crib, pnp or moses basket there at goodwill. I've been there a few times when shopping for my niece, and it's a great place to get clothes as well. Just watch out for stains. Babies don't know the difference between designer and consignment shop clothing.
D slept with DH and I for the first few weeks even though his crib is in our room. He was swaddled, and we had blankets on either side of him (a few inches away from him) on either side so we wouldn't roll on him at night. It never became an issue, and DH and I are the same as you and B. I'm heavy and he's super skinny. Our bed is a full size, so it can be done!
Even if you don't get a single gift before minibini is born, I'm sure gifts will come afterward. It's not a dumb reason, I was sad for the exact same thing. Chin up, MrsBini!
I agree with others, unless there is a shower, I do not send baby gifts until the baby is home from the hospital. Too many things can happen for me to be comfortable sending gifts before everyone is home and ready for visitors, you know? I think there are many people who feel the same way. They are all probably planning to send gifts, but just waiting until you are home and have baby safely in your arms to do so.
I know it's disappointing not to have any gifts yet, but they will come, people can't resist babies once they have arrived.
I don't think it's a dumb reason, I would be sad too. I think wait until after the baby is born, people will send gifts, and in the beginning you won't need the crib, toys, etc right away, you'll have some time.
Dont you work at a school? I am sure your coworkers will do something for you before you go on maternity leave.
I'd be upset, too. It's not dumb at all. Gifts make you feel like people are excited for you. I really don't know what to tell you. Do your friends usually have baby showers?
I agree that it's worth looking for used baby stuff. We went to a couple of these sales called "Just Between Friends" when my sister was pregnant and we were able to find clothes that still had price tags on them. It's definitely worth a look. In the very beginning just little onesies are all you need really as far as outfits go. I loved the plain little white ones.
I don't think it's dumb at all. I really don't know what to say, but I'm sorry you're going through that and I agree with Lorry that it's surprising so many people are saying it's normal not to give gifts until after baby is born.
((hugs))
If I were you I'd feel very sad as well, but like PPs have said it's time to find the basics for as cheap as possible. The good thing is babies don't need as much as thebump makes you think. I'm sure you'll be able to scrap up what you need for the necessities and hopefully after your LO is born you will be blessed with gifts!
I know around here there are tons of consignment sales for kids/babies this time of year, I would look into that as well.
I didn't get any gifts, shower aside, until after my kids were born. I don't think people normally just send gifts before the baby is born, without it being for a shower.
Honestly you should tell your mom and sister how you feel. Maybe they don't know how upset you are about this.
I?m guessing that you?ll have a shower from your school or family, or both, and that it?s supposed to be a surprise. I do remember seeing a comment on your FB status from your sister that would seem to suggest that it might be the case. If I remember right, you said you wanted a shower to be a surprise, so maybe that?s why?
As for being kind of late. Well, you technically have six more weeks to go, so maybe it?s supposed to happen in the next couple of weeks. I think my Sister had a shower for her twins about six weeks before her due date, and twins come early usually. But I?m not super up on what?s the norm or not.
Where did you register?
Be careful what you wish for! lol
Honestly, it would never occur to me to send a gift before the baby is born. Wait until the baby is born and reassess.