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What to do...
I just received a parcel from my Grandmother. She has this delusion that I want some antique things from her house? She asked me a couple of weeks ago if I wanted these porcelain dolls (they are display dolls, that stand upright on a stand-- you can't actually play with them) as well as a host of other items that her sister willed to her back in 1995.
Here's the thing: I have outright refused these items for many reasons. 1.) I have no where to put them or display them. They would sit in a box. 2.) I have no attachment to the items. When I was younger they sat on top of my giant bookcase. I wasn't allowed to play with them & they scared me.
The rest of the box is random crap that she wants to get rid of it seems. I begged her not to send it to me, but for some reason she thinks that it "means so much to me" ? I know it means a lot to her (at this stage, she is 91) to have her possessions with someone she cares about. I am irritated that she didn't listen to me when I am having space issues as it is.
So why don't I just Ebay the damn things? I feel guilty for selling them when she believes that she is giving them to me for safe keeping. My mom just tells me to take the items, tell Grandma whatever, and then do what I have to do. I am kind of in the same mode of thinking, but I feel like it makes me a shytty human being to Ebay the dolls & display items. I'm sure someone else could get way more enjoyment out of them than I would (rather than having them just sit in a box)...
My absolute horror would be to have my Grandma show up in the future & wonder where the dolls/display items are. Imoan, do you remember that Episode of GG when Emily is flipping out about displaying every item that her MIL gave them? Right on in this situation. I just hate it that I have these items that I really don't want cluttering my house when all I want to do is clean it. *sigh*
Re: What to do...
I want to say ebay them, but if it were me I probably couldn't (but I have extra storage space).
I would stick the box in the back of a closet, and ebay them after she passes. I would have a fear that she would ask about them.
My grandmother did this in her later years, I think it must be part of the process of accepting you are getting older.
Do you have anyone specific in mind that might want them (like a cousin or something?) Maybe you could reach out to them and work something out and then approach your grandmother with "Grandma, I talked to cousin Veronica and she would love to have these dolls to display in her living room. I hate to think of them just sitting in a box in my house because we don't have the room to display them. How about we let her have them?"
If that's not do-able, I would also put them in a box in a closet until she passes (and I know the exact GG episode you are talking about, when the first Lorelei comes to visit!) I'm very similar to you about these kinds of things: few actual objects hold any sentimental value to me and when my family was going through my grandparent's house everyone pressured me to take all these things I didn't want. They're all in a box in my closet.
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I would check to see if any other family members would like them. It may have sentimental value to someone else in your family.
If not, stick it in the back of the closet for a year or two then sell them. How far do you live from your grandmother and what are the chances that she would actually come to your home?
My mom has a box of stuff in her closet that family members have given to her over the years. When they come she pulls it out and displays it, when they leave it goes back into the closet. My mom has told me that if she dies, I have to go straight to her house and put all the "closet stuff" out before people start visiting the house.
Your grandmother didn't feel bad about making you take things you didn't want so why should you feel bad about seeing them go to a home that would better appreciate them?
Do you know any little girls or bigger girls who would love to have them?
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antique dolls and other items can be worth a fortune, so don't be too quick to throw them out. See if you can find out whether there's any value to what she's sending you.
If you really cannot tolerate this stuff, ask around the family and see if there's anything anyone wants, and let them have it. Too, this is your ninety one yo grandmother; if you have any attachment to her at all, you might keep something as a memento.
And don't forget to send her a thank you note.
I can definitely ask around to see if there are any other family members who might like the dolls etc. That is a good idea.
My grandmother lives on the East Coast (I am in California) there is a low likelihood of her coming over soon. Though I don't know if she & mom are coming for Abby's first months.
Yes def a thank you note. I will put them in the closet and see how I feel in 6 months.
This is what I'd say too. If there are girls in your family that would enjoy them, I'd hand them off that way first before giving them to friend's children, etc.
There are things that my grandmother offered to me when I was younger when she was still alive. I foolishly turned some of them down because at that age I wasn't interested in them. I wish now that I had taken them and put them away because as I've gotten older and now that she's gone, I would have loved to have those things.
If you really don't think you'll ever care about them, see if other family members would like them. Otherwise, keep them close at hand and put them out when/if she comes to visit. She's 91 and wants to make sure her things are in a safe place with people who will take good care of them.
When my grandma was ailing, she gave away a lot of stuff that meant a lot to her, so she'd know where her stuff would be when she was gone.
I'd say hold on to it until she passes, then ebay or toss it. Even if she won't be coming around it probably means a lot to her that she knows you have X Y or Z.
This is probably what I'd do, and at that point, either ebay them, or if you know any little girls who might like the dolls, that's an option too.