Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Im new here & slightly troubled by my hubby..
Something is way wrong with this picture.
Even so -- why is it that this guy hasn't got a penny to his name -- or so it seems, anyway?
And even if you're out of work and stretching pennies, who's heard of skipping a holiday, ffs??? There are all kinds of for-cheap ways to celebrate, even if you skip the gifts and other usual holiday things.
It very well could be that there is no job. And how come you tolerated it when you saw this guy's bank account was zero?
Other things to do to ensure your assets and safety:
Make sure you have a fully charged cell phone on you at all times -- you'll be needing it when you go.
Any valuables, liquid assets, jewelry: make sure he can't get those, either. Get a safety deposit box at a bank and lock those up.
Keep all the data and documentation safe; same thing: put them in a safety deposit box.
Where did he work before this alleged start up? I will bet you that if you call that company, it's either non existant or they have no record of his working there.
I do not wish to be an alarmist but it very well cold be that that you are married to somebody dangerous --- besides, what penniless 30 year old marries a 23 year old student? Something is funky here and how. I get the idea that something money is motivating him --- is it possible that you have an inheritance or some other very large sum of money either on the way or in your posession right now?
Maybe I'm just an old fuddy duddy - but how to you gin up the desire to sleep with a guy who pulls this kind of craziness on the wedding day? Where were your parents in all of this? How on God's green earth did you spend that kind of money on a wedding and a honeymoon with a guy who hasn't been paid in 3 months? The way the post is written it seems like you knew darn well he wasn't getting paid and knew it before 3 weeks ago when you married him.
You don't have a partner, you have another father. He's telling you how things are going to be without a discussion? Not to mention all the red flags regarding money - him not telling you about it, not getting paid (what?), etc.
I think you need to open your eyes. Red flags are all around you.
Whatever else you do, see a therapist immediately and do not combine finances in any way including allowing him access to your accounts.
You know, I felt a little sorry for you until I started reading what you've written on all of the other message boards where you have the same SN. Aren't you just a treat?
So, my mother is throwing me a bridal shower :::Yay::: however, she wants to do it @ her house. It's average size (1,400 sq ft) however, my dad has his deer heads plastered all over their house. Lovely?
Anyway, I wanted to do a pink Parisian style luncheon/bridal shower and there should be about 20-30 ppl in attendence. I think their space won't work due to size as well as the overwhelming decor. Any other ideas for throwing a bridal shower (I've never been to one or thrown one and my mom has never thrown one) So, I'm wondering if you gals have seen some budget friendly showers? Thanks 
Venue- Rancho Valencia in Rancho Santa Fe, California. This was a great venue that really worked with our budget and provided excellent catering service. Meals were anywhere between $65-$90. With the super premium bar at $42/per person per hour. We had a 28 person guest list and a $7000 f&b min. The catering coordinator was a little hard to touch base with at times but overall, I'd give this place a 4.75 out of 5. It's gorgeous, elegant and tucked awayInvitations-Vanessa at Alchemy Fine Events. Vanessa was a little tough to work with at first and it took us awhile to get an idea figured out on the invites. I paid her $1300 to do my invitations, escort cards, programs and menus.
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Total dirty lurker here but let's not forget to mention the $3400 she paid for her WEDDING SHOES?!!!
Christ on a cracker. I had a 20-something-person wedding and the entire super fancy dinner, including fancy open bar, was less than $3400.
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I had my entire wedding for less than $3K!! I think it goes to show that there is more to this story than the OP is letting on. That the money issues are a two way street in this marriage and he is not the only one to blame.
Everyone has talked about the shady azz dovcher your H is.
But also, I'm 30 years old. I can't even FATHOM marrying a 23 year old. I have nothing in common with 23 year olds. What kind of manchild is your H that he finds, at thirty effing years old, that he has enough in common with someone still in COLLEGE to actually marry that person.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
And paid a wedding planner 3 grand for a guest list that totaled about 30.
Indeed how did your parents school you when it comes to saving and spending money and living within one's means! HOW much for a wedding???
And indeed six grand for a honeymoon. What gave you such a sense of entitlement that you spent money that you did not have?
Thanks to your stupidity and lack of money handling skills you are now in debt for nearly 10 grand.
I am still wondering wht the fascination was here as far as a 30 year old marrying a penniless 23 year old goes. I still think she has/had a large sum of money that was iminent or going to be.
And can we stop with the "30k?! My wedding was only 30 cents and it was the beeeest weddddddding everrrrrr".
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
OK, I couldn't help just one more. FTR, I don't begrudge people fancy things when they can afford them. My parents have more money than they know what to do with, and I'm happy for them and the things they are able to do. However, my parents are not 23-year-old broke beebee community college students.
It cost $600 to stay at their wedding venue for one night. SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS!
Not sure what your total budget is but I am having mine @ Rancho Valenica in Rancho Santa Fe. Very quaint, small house called the "Hacienda" is where we will be having the wedding. It was $2500 to rent the space however, we decided to stay the night there which made the cost $3100.
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That's too bad. This thread was awesome.
First of all, I consider myself to be a wonderful mother, but my car is not clean. In fact, it is rather dirty. Of all of the things I have to do, driving to the car wash is not high on my list of priorities. and the inside is filled with kid-type things (toys, books, cheerios).
I would not be with a man who TOLD me how I was going to celebrate Halloween. Even now, I am a SAHM, and h's consulting business is not going well....but if I wanted to celebrate halloween with candy and a haunted house in the front yard, H would work with me to make it happen. Ditto a Christmas tree!
Your H reminds me of the saying "a porche in the driveway, no food in the refridgerator."
If you have recently married, I would get an annullment. Honestly, I would COMPLETELY understand if a H (who wasn't getting paid) told his wife "look, we need to put off having kids b/c I don't feel secure enough in my job to provide for another baby." BUT, to tell you you wouldn't be a good mom and need to "prove yourself" by washing your car more - WTF?!?
Be happy you have not combined finances, it will make the divorce process that much easier!
And hold off having a baby until you meet a man who will be a great partner and parent! You CAN have it all!
Excuse me if I don't have much sympathy for a golddigger. I think he didn't tell her about the money problems b/c then she'd GTFO and look for another sugar daddy to buy her luxury shoes.
Honestly, I hope they stay together. These two douchers deserve each other.
If this guy wasn't Russian, I'd wonder if this was my XH's child bride.
I know, right?
I'm sorry OP, but I have a really hard time believing that you would be oh-so-happy with your little Ford Focus, but yet you went looking for your fiance on a website called sugardaddyforme.com.
Sorry kiddo, but I'm having a hard time mustering up any sympathy for you. You made this bed.
Actually there is another post on weddingbee about how she has about 75k in student loans.
What can I say I had insomnia last night and this kept me entertained.
Actually there is another post on weddingbee about how she has about 75k in student loans.
What can I say I had insomnia last night and this kept me entertained.
OP is obviously not very bright. One google search turned up her twitter account with her full name.
She also posted on ringenvy.com a picture of her Tiffany ring that her dovchenozzle H gave her. This chick is a train wreck.
It's a $12K ring!!!! i wonder what CC he put that on?!
She's the ultimate status symbol. Men like this want someone who is young and pretty to show off to their friends, too naive to question where the money comes from, and too materialistic to care.
For her - she gets the Lexus, Tiffany ring, expensive wedding, large house, luxury shoes, etc, etc. I think our friend here is learning that everything has a price though.
I also have a strong hunch that his past earnings weren't exactly gained through legal means. For whatever reason, that gravy train has stopped producing the large returns, and so he's living on CCs to maintain the lifestyle. Just like my XH, these two want to live like millionaires, but they don't want to work for it.
Wonder if it's a real one or a phoney?
This just gets better and better.
Is this real? or have we all been taken and this is MUD?
I'm in awe over this thread.
I remember this screen name from TheKnot and she caused quite a stir there, as well.
I'm just ... wow. The mess is astounding.
Bahahahaha. People who are hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, yet are all shiny and sparkly on the outside (or so they think) are some of my FAVORITE train wrecks. To summarize her original post, she basically is asking "My sugar daddy isn't giving me money anymore...waaaahhh..what do I do now?!"
Take your luxury shoes, your Lexus, your Tiffany ring, and your obscene pile of debt and cry yourself all they way home to Mommy and Daddy's little 1400 square foot deer decorated home..at least their sh!t is probably paid for.
This was so urgent she isn't coming back. Great.
The sense of urgency has sense been erased due to individuals snarky comments and personal attacks. This was a forum I came to for advice not to be made to feel worse about myself. I know that I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I have made mistakes which some of you have clearly and more blantitly pointed out.
And to all the women who can't imagine how my wedding cost so much with so little people, why not just look it up on Facebook or any other social media sites as you have for other information about me?
This thread is out of control although, I'm happy to have provided a source of entertainment as some of you stated. Sadly, I was just looking for advice & wound up with a sour taste in my mouth due to the latter posts questioning wedding, ring, stability etc.