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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Vow Renewals
mfmenchi's wedding thread mentioned this, so I thought I'd ask...
What are your feelings on renewing vows? Would you? Do you plan to? Would you do a big ceremony (almost like a second wedding)?
Re: Vow Renewals
We don't plan to. Perhaps if we go through any really tough times, we will discuss having a private ceremony if we feel it would be significant to us, but otherwise, we have no intentions of doing it.
I never wanted a big wedding in the first place, my H did, so I certainly wouldn't want to do it again! Haha
We did- we actually got married by a JP and wanted to have our vows validated in the Catholic church. We did it on xmas eve right before I got pregnant. It was just my parents and sister. We went to lunch with the priest afterward. No big thing.
I would not have thrown a second wedding for something like that, that is ridiculous.
I see doing it for a huge milestone anniversary (family did it for their 50th wedding anniv) and of course, I found that acceptable.
I kinda want to, only because I want to go dress shopping again and buy another dress.
I would do it for a milestone anniversary, but I bet by then I won't care about the dress aspect, so I doubt we'll ever do one.
Maybe for a big anniversary, or if (god forbid) something terrible were to happen, but I can't imagine we would for anything else. I barely wanted to plan my first wedding.
Though I did for a hot second think about doing something when we were in Paris on our honeymoon - I had this romantic notion of getting married there, but the hoops you have to jump through are crazy. (My boss ended up doing something similar in Capri - they got married here, so it was legal, and then had a ceremony on the beach there.)
I don't see what the big deal is. Who actually likes to sit through the wedding anyway? I wish more people did this, just skip to the fun, food, drinking and dancing!
We are kind of doing this too: Just family is going to the Turks, and when we get home there is a big home reception that people are coming to. My mom and bridesmaids threw me a shower and everything, to which practically everyone invited came. And most of them are only coming to the home reception.
I think that this is the only way I would do a vow renewal. Our wedding was huge and everything I could have dreamed of, so I have no strong desire to do a renewal. Personally, I think it would be pointless for DH and I unless it was our 50th or something along those lines.
My parents were married in Bermuda by a JP with just me there. A few years later they had the marriage blessed in the Catholic church and then had a party for our family. It was pretty low key, but a nice thing for them.
This sounds awesome and fun!
We don't have any plans to do a vow renewal.Well crap, I KNEW I was going to put my foot in it! I shouldn't have said anything - I hope you're not offended.
(was it you who had the private ceremony out of solidarity with a gay sibling, though? Or am I really, really stepping in it now? I'm just going to shut up now.)
Yeah, that was me. We had a commitment ceremony in church and were married by a JP. That wasn't always the plan though, and we were planning to be married by the minister in the church. I just kind of got in to it with the minister during wedding planning and only decided that I didn't want him to marry us a couple months before the wedding. So the plan wasn't to go to a JP and then have a big wedding, it just happened that way.
Brilliant!
I've thought about doing a TTD, but I have no idea what I'd do with the pictures.
Just thinking about all the stress makes me say no!
But it would be nice to renew our vows and have all of our family and friends there to celebrate.....instead of a reception in FL for my side, and one in PA for his side (which still hasn't happened yet, and probably won't). I would just like everyone to meet. And receptions are fun!!
It certainly looked like fun! Was bummed I wasn't there to witness it.
Awwww, I would be too!
I'd love to do a TTD shoot! Well, maybe more of a Rock the Frock type of shoot - I'd even like DH to do pics with me. We didn't get very many wedding pictures of just him and I so this could be a fun way to have some awesome pics of us. I've mentioned it to him before...I think he just ignores me!
I'm with you on this. BIL and SIL got married by a JP to help with her greencard process and then an ENTIRE YEAR later did a whole wedding: church, shower, reception...everything. I didn't quite get it...I mean, sure - if you want to have a celebration afterwards with everyone, fine, have a party. But don't have an entire wedding and then act like it's your REAL wedding. Seriously, the entire family thinks of their 2nd wedding date as their anniversary...
ETA: Sorry LadyE....hope my comments don't offend you! You're situation sounded much different than BIL's. They just annoy me anyway so that's probably adds to how much is irks me that they did this!
I intentionally had a complete and total separation between the legality and spirituality of my marriage. 99.9% of the guests at our church wedding did not (and still do not) know that we were married earlier. What they saw was still the public proclamation of our commitment to each other, we had simply done some paperwork beforehand, KWIM?
I don't get it either. As I said before, I prefer to just be invited to the reception. I don't mind getting the couple a gift and even attending a shower just for being invited to a reception. Our home reception is also 2 months from our destination wedding, and it is only a reception. We didn't want to do another ceremony. No one has said to us that's it's rude, and some of our friends have even thanked us that they won't have to sit through a ceremony. I just laugh, because I feel the same way.
I don't know why it would be so important for someone to see the actually legally binding ceremony. I mean, you're celebrating the couple's decision to spend their lives together... The liquor will taste the same either way! Haha
Personally, I like seeing the ceremony. But I guess I'm weird like that. I mean, I'm not saying I enjoy the hour long mass that sometimes follows, but I do like witnessing the vows and the marriage itself. I feel like you gotta earn that free liquor!
The people who p*ss me off are the ones who act like the piece of paper you sign isn't what makes you married, the party and the pageantry are. I just think it's tacky as hades to run around insisting on having showers and bachelorette parties after you're already married, just so you don't miss out on anything. And unless you get divorced in-between, you're not "getting married" because you're wearing the big white dress and having a party. You're already married. IMO, you chose not to wait, and in doing so, you chose not to have the parties.
(FTR, I don't consider a private ceremony/destination wedding with a later reception to be the same thing, nor do I think someone who gets married by a JP and then has a religious ceremony to have their marriage recognized by their congregation falls into the same category. And I really don't mean to offend anyone. I mean, I'm not going to hate someone forever because they do this. Though if my brother tries to pull this, he's totally going to get an earful, heh.)
I guess it's just part of the same struggle I have been having since my own wedding. In my ideal world, EVERYONE would have to go to town hall and be legally married by a JP, and what happens in church would be entirely unrelated to your legal status. (Uh oh... Is my libertarian showing? haha)
I am changing my answer. This sounds really fun. I would be up for something like this.
I agree. But then again, I've never understand how this doesn't fall under separation of church and state to begin with. The sacrament is one thing, the legality is another. (/steps off soapbox)