Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: IRRrrr - i -Tated
I just realized that I typed something similar to what you said. I apologize for posting before reading this post. But I do agree with this...there may be more of a back story where the GF thought she was helping out.
I think you're right, I think she is just trying to help out. I have a lot on my plate right now and no one has ever offered to come over, screen in my porch, and rent tables and chairs to accommodate everyone. I certainly would never be mean to her, or call her up and *** her out for the suggestion, I was just a little taken aback I think. My H and I are going to call her and his dad and try to talk over preparations. I want everyone to have a good time at thanksgiving, including her and her children, so we'll see what we can do to make it all work. Thanks for your supportive post.
Hey, bully, get off my post. I know you like it in here because I give you attention, but the reality is you dont know me, and so far, you havnt been able to give any sort of articulate advise. Go project somewhere else.
I think that sounds like a good plan.
If your FIL's new girlfriend is actually someone who is controlling and is always going to try to take over every event and all that type of stuff, you will figure that out in a little while. So, better at this point to assume that she didn't handle it well but her heart was in the right place.
In the interest of everyone getting along and assuming that she had the best of intentions, just talk about it. You get the final say in how your home gets set up for this event, though.
No one was being a bully or being mean to you. You honestly are far to dramatic about it. No one said it wasn't rude of your FIL's GF to tell you they planned to bring chairs and tables and close in your porch. That is very rude to just assume it would be ok. However, your instant aggressive answers to people who don't say "Oh you poor baby, you're so right!" Makes me wonder if you behave this way with them as well.
It's an internet message board, you're going to get responses, whether you want them or not. Venting does not mean people are going to respond only in the positive to you. Really, it seems like you're really over reacting about something that isn't that big of a deal to solve, just talk to them. A simple "Oh, thank you for the offer, but we aren't comfortable with that." I agree with the others, maybe they just all want to eat together.
Anytime someone pulls out the "You don't know me" card, I think "Well this is a lost cause." No matter what anyone says, if it's not what you want to hear, you immediate get defensive about it. Obviously we don't know you, I think that's a really ridiculous thing to say on the internet. We only know what you present. I suggest you go back and read some of your replies and see how you come across, we might not know you, but you haven't exactly posted a glowing portrait of yourself either.
Just take some calm breaths and calm down. It's really not as tragic as you're making it out to be, it's your house, you do things the way you want to do it.
Adoranora... its hard to have sympathy for your situation when you are behaving like such a twat on here. People were really trying to give you advice and you've just stomped all over them. Yes, we know you are ranting. However, stomping your little feet & throwing a temper tantrum like a child won't solve your issue, right? It just makes you look like a sniveling little girl. Got it?
Let someone else host the holiday dinners for fvck's sake. If it causes you this must stress & irritation then it is not worth it! Honestly, you could have a pot luck in the backyard and call it a day. Really, I don't understand why you are raving about this situation when you've done your duty over the years. Let someone else have "fun" with it & be a guest at someone else's home for a little while.
No one is bullying you by the way-- you are just behaving like a snot. You're welcome in advance. Now put on your big girl undies and learn to deal. My goodness!
So it sounds to me like you do a good job as a host.
And it sounds to me like the family have discussed it and made comments to each other like it would be nice to sit together and all eat.
And it sounds like someone made a suggestion of screening in the porch
And it sounds like FIL's GF said I'll email her.
Now I'm not saying how her email was worded was the most courteous of things, but is there anything really wrong with people wanting to eat together and someone saying, "hey we have a solution and we'll come and do all the work"?
I agree with pp, have a look at the bigger picture and let your, "I'm all about good manners" go.
It's not like she emailed you and said, "so your cooking sucks and we all hate you, I'll be hosting this year."