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need objective opinions
This is my first post so please bare with me 
My husband & I have been married for a little less than a year. He is messy, I am clean and this difference is really frusterating me. He could care less about a clean house and when he comes home just throws his clothes where ever he takes them off, usually in the living room. He thinks me spending money to organize & decorate our home is unecessary & a waste of $$$.
He is also a huge dog lover and is not really bothered when our 2 dogs have frequent accidents in our new home. There are stains that are so deep in the carpet, they are almost impossible to get out. (Believe me, I have tried!!!!)
I am more than frusterated and do not want to continue picking up after him and the dogs like I'm their maid. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!!!
Re: need objective opinions
Why are your dogs having so many accidents?
Stop picking up his crap...stop doing his laundry...stop being his maid!
MH is somewhat like this...I find his clothes scattered randomly around the house. He also 'forgets' to pick up his dishes. We are both pretty laid back, so it's not really a big deal..if I want him to pick up after himself I ask and he will do it. But it's a daily reminder. I do tell him I am not his maid/mother and he needs to act like an adult.
And how old are your dogs? Did you not house train them? Are they medically ok? If it's a new problem take them to the vet to rule out any medical problems. If not go back to the basics and re-train them. I love my dogs to bits but that doesn't mean they can sh!t and piss in my house. That's just disgusting. Try Nature's Miracle (lots and lots of it) to get the stains/smells out.
Can't help you with the decorating issues...I suppose a lot of guys aren't "into" it but I don't think they should be opposed to their wives decorating.
Ditto all of this. You need to sit down and have a serious talk with your H. He may not ever get to be on your level of tidyness, but he can at least try. Did you live together before marriage?
Speak to your vet about it -- were they housebroken completely? Are they getting enough exercise? Are both the dogs spayed/neutered?
maybe he is a slob, but try this: Let him leave his clothes in one specific location when he comes home from work --- and NOT the living room. Let him change out in the bathroom and dump his dirty clothes in the hamper.
That should make life easier for you. GL.
Do you have your own job? Are you in the household all day? He may regard you as his maid, subconsciously. I would look to some of the solutions offered by PP's to try to correct this behavior. It's disrespectful that he "doesn't care" about making a mess, and probably, at least subconsciously, expects you to take care of it (or for it to "take care of itself").
Has he been to college? Did he ever have to take care of his household independent of any woman? I think he's taking you for granted, and a long departure from allowing this behavior will show him that he can't continue living this way and keep his woman happy.
Maybe you should stop doing things like making dinner, or doing his laundry, or whatever will get to him, until he responds to your requests. I agree with PP, having a designated place to dump his stuff isn't too much to ask at all.
How long have you been together and did you live together before you got married? If not, where did you each live? On your own or w/ your parents?
Leaving clothes laying around is annoying, but not really dirty. There are ways to deal w/ that.
But he's a "dog lover" and your dogs pee all over the house and he doesn't care? First, if he were really a "dog lover", he would make sure they were trained and he'd TAKE CARE OF THEM - like making sure they go out enough so that they don't need to pee inside.
Then, the fact they pee inside and the stains are deep - tells me he doesn't clean up after them.
seriously- this is disgusting. This isn't about his sexist expectations around you being his maid or 1950's wife. This is about him actually having pride in himself, in his home, and in how he cares for those (his dogs) that he supposedly loves.
Is this really a man you want to tie yourself to for the rest of your life with, and God forbid, have kids with?!!? Really- ask yourself this. Is this the kind of man you want to be the father of your children?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Living with animal waste about the house is not a normal thing. Does he wipe up after himself when he misses/drips in the bathroom? Leaving a few clothes laying around isn't all that bad by itself; but shedding his things all over and leaving the dog waste to sit and marinate into the carpet and subflooring is repulsive, to the point of a mental disorder. Does he even brush his teeth?
Do you people not walk your dogs? Is there a health/age reason they have so many accidents?
How harsh are you willing to be? You need to have a CTJ talk with your H. Tell him that you are not going to clean up after him any more. Either he starts pulling his weight around the house and taking care of his messes like a big boy oooorr...
Step 2: If he is going to act like a child, you will treat him like a child. It he isn't interested in taking care of his things, then you will assume that he doesn't want them. When he leaves things lying around, throw them out. If he doesn't take care of the dogs, find someone who will. You get the picture.