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Advice re: changing my name back?
Hi ladies. Longtime nestie, but new to this board. (Does anyone ever think they're going to need this board? I sure didn't.)
He told me he wanted a divorce on Friday. Part of me is still in shock - we had been working through some issues, but I never actually thought it would come to this - and the other part of me needs to start dealing with everything. I know he's not going to change his mind.
The first thing I'd like to do is change my name back, but I'm not sure if I should, or if it's better to wait until we're actually divorced, since our mortgage and everything is in my married name?
Did anyone go this route? And if so, did you keep your married name across-the-board, or did you change it on non-official documents (FB, business cards, etc.) in the meantime? (We have no children; it's just me.)
TIA for any thoughts/suggestions. Looking forward to getting to know you all. 
Re: Advice re: changing my name back?
I worked in matrimonial law. We put a clause in the divorce papers to allow the woman to go back to her maiden name.
It was easier and probably less costly than going through a name change - here that can be upward of $400.
Yeah, it's free to change (at least in my state) once you are divorced. Otherwise you need to pay for it.
Anyway, I think you should take some time and get everything in order before you start worrying about changing your name.
We're kind of going out.
I waited until my divorce was final to change everything - it was free to do it then as part of my decree opposed to filing paperwork with the court for a name change on its own.
I do have an attorney and am gathering documents, etc.
I am aware that changing my name isn't technically a high priority, but I want to do it - as Bowies said - for an ounce of catharsis. I never liked my married name so given the circumstances I'm more than eager to get rid of it.
If anyone did change their name pre-divorce (officially or unofficially) I'd like to hear your experience; otherwise I guess I'll wait until I'm officially divorced.
You could also start going by your maiden name socially again before it is legally changed.
I never changed my name but I did go by his last name socially - mostly because people insisted on calling me by it - and I had an email address which was had my first initial then both last names @ whatever.com
When we separated one of the first things I did was make a new email address First.Maiden@whatever.com and started using it (fwd your current email to that so you can reply from the new one). It's a little thing but it might feel good, and it will start easing your family/friends into you changing your name back.
This is sort of what I had in mind, for the time being; thanks. Also, I clicked through to your blog and was really impressed. You have a real gift for writing.